Introduction
Taking things personally is problematic for many reasons, one of which is the bias connected to the perception of a situation. In some cases, people tend to misjudge an event based on their previous experiences. Moreover, it is natural for people, such as classmates or coworkers, to see us in a way that differs from our perception. This essay aims to explore the issue of taking things personally, including an individual’s behavior in stressful situations using the perspectives of postmodernity and in the global context.
Why People Take Things Personally
Taking things personally means reacting to the comments from others and judging oneself based on these statements. Usually, this results in feeling bad about oneself, but when objectively evaluating the case, one can conclude that other people cannot have a good understanding of an individual’s personality (Amodeo). That is why the advice not to take things personally exists. However, according to Amodeo, this is not always possible. As people, we live in a society, and we are affected by the actions or words of others as much as they are affected by what we do. Hence, arguably, it is difficult to be sufficiently distanced from other people’s opinions. The main idea behind a healthy perception of oneself and other people’s views is the ability to no take everything personally and aim to evaluate facts instead of making judgments based on emotions.
Understanding why taking things personally may be harmful when approaching any situation is necessary. It is natural for humans to form an opinion about something or someone, for example, a friend, acquaintance, or an event that happened at work (Savage 45). A simple glance at the people’s preferences, for example, a favorite song or a movie, can reveal the differences that exist between different individuals. Therefore, one should accept the fact that others are entitled to having their own opinion and that each person’s view may differ.
Firstly, this habit is both a sign of low self-esteem and a factor that can adversely affect it. The perception of ourselves as personalities is a complicated matter. From the perspective of psychology, self-esteem is often associated with poor life choices (Gans). It is because low self-esteem implies an inadequate understanding of a person’s character and worth. Hence, when facing difficulties, low self-esteem contributes to a bad outlook on the situation and the inability to find a resolution — in such a scenario, not taking things as personal becomes difficult. According to Gans, ideally, a combination of realist perception and positivity is ideal in regards to self-esteem. This approach allows one to understand that others may have a different opinion and can perceive events using their vision. Also, it is vital to know how to manage situations in a way that will help improve self-esteem and not take things personally.
Global and Postmodern Context
In general, people perceive events differently, based on their knowledge, character traits, and views. In the global context, this can be seen by examining the differences between the cultures. Most notably, the Eastern and Western traditions that differ significantly, since people from the East use collectivism as their main outlook of the society (Wang 3). In the West, most notably in the United States, individualism is more prevalent, with people emphasizing personal comfort and benefit, instead of prioritizing the community’s well-being. This distinction does not mean that one culture is good or bad. By seeing these differences, one can understand how centuries of independent development have shaped the beliefs, cultural and social traditions of people, and how these elements affect their perception.
Based on the evidence about the East and West differences, one can argue than when faced with an opinion on a person from different culture, an individual can be subjected to criticism. For example, an Eastern person would have difficulty understanding the Westerner’s idea of friendship, family, or community and commitment to the three, which may lead to criticism (Wang 5). An important note here that will allow one to face the criticism is the understanding of the differences in perception that exist in the global context. Hence, learning about different people’s perspectives and learning to make conclusions based on unbiased information is essential in contemporary society.
Furthermore, globalization and new technology affected the ways in which people communicate and interact with the world. A notable example is social media, which is often blamed for indulging anxiety and dissatisfaction in people. The hateful messages that can be encountered online are also prevalent, and perceiving these aspects of modern life too seriously can impair a person’s mental health. The New York Times even published an article discussing 11,696 forms of hate that exist on social media. The journalist Frenkel stated that “the repercussions of the social media companies’ inability to handle disinformation and hate speech have manifested themselves abundantly in the recent day” (para. 5). However, the truth is that no one can be fully protected from hate or unjust treatment, or difficulties, and the only way to deal with these issues is to build resilience and not take everything personally.
Hateful opinions and comments that do not reflect the actual personality of an individual are more common in modern society due to globalization. This requires people to pay more attention to the differences in perception and backgrounds that can affect their opinions. Moreover, it requires one to have a healthy outlook on the ideas expressed through social media and other forms of contemporary communication. A postmodern view of knowledge can be an appropriate model for this task.
In the context of postmodernity, the psychologists and social scientists aimed to examine the issue of reacting to difficulties. According to the postmodern theory, the ultimate truth does not exist (Mchale 9). Therefore, in most cases, the black or white vision of a situation is not applicable since people and events can be evaluated from multiple perspectives. The reality of the everyday lives that people have is complex, and as we encounter different situations are the view of the world changes. Therefore, even if a person has an unfavorable view of someone’s actions, it does not mean that this person is correct in his or her judgments.
Accepting that every person has a right to have an opinion or make a judgment is crucial. In fact, rationality is among the primary characteristics of postmodernity (Mchale 10). The rational view allows people to judge others or their actions based on facts and not feelings, which can often be misleading. Another characteristic of this era is focused on progress (Mchale 12). This implies a continuous change and adoption of new viewpoints and ideas. In the context of taking things personally, the two characteristics of postmodern culture suggest that when facing difficulties using the rational mind and seeing an opportunity for personal growth is essential. For example, if a superior at work sees us as someone else, it can be used as a chance to evaluate the preconditions that caused such an opinion. Hence, the postmodernist way of thinking implies a unique outlook on the concept of knowledge. The flexibility of mind, essential in the modern era, is the key to a healthy attitude and adequate management of difficulties.
Personal Statement
In general, it is evident for me that no one has the power to control other people’s views of him or her, and the best approach to preserve adequate self-esteem is to focus on self-regulation and not on emotional reactions. Learning how to deal with difficulties, rejection, or criticism of others is something that every person should learn to be able to overcome these issues and feel good. Amodeo argues that although not taking things personally seems to be an easy task, it is, in fact, an art. As was described, the physiological specifics of human behavior make it difficult to accept the valuable advice of not taking things personally. However, learning about different cultures and viewpoints can be the first step towards this goal.
The unhealthy approach of accepting that someone else’s opinion defines you is counterproductive. In the book Don’t Take Things Personally: The Art of Dealing with Rejection, the author Elayne Savage argues that this notion implies seeing information as if it is directed at a specific person, even though in most cases this is not true (50). A more productive way of using this personality trait and habit is to perceive it as feedback and not criticism. Savage describes people who often take things personally as those who have inner critics that obstruct one from living a healthy life and enjoying it (51). The issue of taking things personally is often associated with rejection, which is among the primary psychological fears of people. In essence, when faced with rejection, people often engage with destructive thoughts that target their personality and flaws, instead of objectively evaluating the situation.
One can argue that an essential thing in a person’s life is his or her ability to maintain good mental health, which helps face varied difficulties and overcome issues that are inevitable. The primary strategy for doing so is focusing on the psychological implications of taking things personally, which implies the need to accept the viewpoint of others without having to agree with it. Not taking things personally means accepting that others can have their own view of things that is not necessarily the reflection of reality, which allows people to deal with difficulties more easily.
Conclusion
Overall, this paper focused on the problem of taking things as personal.
From the perspective of postmodernity, the theoretical knowledge suggests that it is impossible to have definite knowledge about something, meaning that someone else’s opinion does not reflect the actual state of things. From a global viewpoint, the differences between different cultures suggest that there are unique features that can define people’s view of life and events. Hence, the perception of individuals may be different, depending on their background. Understanding and acknowledging this may be beneficial for people since taking things personally can result in issues with self-esteem.
Works Cited
Amodeo, John. “What It Means to Not Take Things Personally.”PsychCentral, 2018, Web.
Frenckel, Sheera. “On Instagram, 11,696 Examples of How Hate Thrives on Social Media.”The New York Times, 2018, Web.
Gans, Steven. “Signs of Healthy and Low Self-Esteem.”Very Well Mind. 2019, Web.
Mchale, Brian. The Cambridge Introduction to Postmodernism. Cambridge University Press, 2015.
Savage, Elayne. Don’t Take It Personally: The Art of Dealing with Rejection. Open Road Distribution, 2016.
Wang, Mendy. “Eastern vs. Western Culture.” FCU, Web.