Schwartz and Rutter present fascinating views on romance because they suggest that the gender of the person plays an important role as far as expression of sexual desires is concerned. Their view is that sexual drive is not simply determined by the sex of the person as it depends on if an individual fulfills his or her lover’s expectations pertaining to maleness or femaleness. However, the two scholars caution that any understanding of the romance depends on an individual’s explanation of sex. Unfortunately, defining the term “sex” is not as easy as many would expect since the notion has several dimensions.
For instance, sex can be defined from both the biological and the social contexts where the physiological classification of the process is also taken into account. In a recent study conducted in the University of Texas, no student admitted that he or she engages in sex with the main purpose of reproduction, which proves that they gain the experience of sexual enjoyment while the intent to have children is a negligible inspiration for most sexual acts. This confirms the assertion that people engage in sex mainly to have fun and to communicate their feelings to their lovers, which results in ego satisfaction. For some individuals, sex serves a special purpose of burning the calories, getting rid of headache, and empowering the partner (Rutter, & Schwartz, 2012).
In an article titled Does a More Equal Marriage Mean Less Sex?, Gottlieb observes that married couples develop sexual desires in case their partners espouse their natural features, which means that men should develop masculine features while women have to possess feminine features in case they are to attract their men (Gottlieb, 2014). The study establishes further that women do not develop interest in men who tend to behave in the same way as the females because they do not see any difference in that case.
In a study on gay partners, the New York Times columnist suggests that such partners are unlikely to engage in sex frequently because they are not easily attracted to each other, unless one of the partners adopts the behavior of the opposite gender. Similarly, lesbians tend to engage in sexual activities frequently just as partners in heterosexual relationships because of the attractive features in their partners. This means that gender plays a critical role in determining the sexual behaviors of an individual in the sense that no person would be interested in a partner that possesses similar characteristics as his or hers. The research reveals further that a woman feels comfortable with a man who seems aggressive in bed, even though she will not admit it, as this would give him an advantage to oppress her in the relationship.
It is surprising to note that, while a woman may feel comfortable with a violent man in bed, she does not agree to live with an abusive man, especially when it comes to accomplishing the family objectives. Again, the author of the article observes that women rarely get attracted to men who help them in doing their household activities, such as vacuuming, ironing, cooking, and preparing children for school.
Sexual desire is driven by individual’s principles as studies show that some people will never engage in sex if they are not sure that the partner loves them. The others view sex as an important aspect of life, and they only engage in this activity once they get married. For some, sex is not something special in the sense that he or she makes any considerations before doing it. In fact, they do not see much difference between doing sex and eating a sandwich.
If somebody is hungry, he or she goes for a sandwich, and it does not matter if he or she has interest in the food. An individual’s gender influences his or her sexual desire, and studies indicate that men easier engage in sex as opposed to women who usually prefer a cautious approach. This behavior is partly explained by varying biological wiring between the two genders. The society has specific norms and beliefs that force an individual to live as per his or her gender. In the United States, for instance, diapers are sold according to gender, and gender division starts from child’s birth and continues to maturity where children are expected to respect their sexual characteristics and live according to the set rules and standards.
Gottlieb notes in his article that many adulterous women are comfortable in their marriages, which confirms the idea that culture influences women to be in relationships even though they are not satisfied. Again, income is not an issue of concern to women because they choose to remain in a marriage despite the fact that they earn more than their partners do. The columnist notes that those values that make good social relationships are not the same as those that drive individuals to have sex. As already mentioned, husbands that cook for their wives and undertake other chores have less sex per month as compared to other men in marriage, which suggests that masculinity and femininity play important roles in sex drives.
References
Gottlieb, L. (2014). Does a more equal marriage mean less sex. The New York Times, p.12. Web.
Rutter, V., & Schwartz, P. (2012). The gender of sexuality: Exploring sexual possibilities. Lanham: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers. Web.