The current society has been characterized with an increased number of ill patients that choose to die at their homes rather than hospitals or medical care homes. This new initiative has subjected most of the families with the burden to care for the patient. Normally, taking care of a family member who is ill is not a problem, it has been perceived to be a blessing. However, under the current economic challenges, few families can manage to take care of ill patients and continue with their normal household chores. In order to understand the experience of such illnesses from the patient’s perspective or the family of the patient perspective, Andrea Collier’s experience is reviewed.
Health consultant and writer Collier vividly describes the hardships and experience she gained when she took care of her mother. Andrea was raised by a single mother, Earline Corner, in 1950s. She was a disciplinarian with strict rules and regulations on how to face the current life. Her strictness ranged from dating to fashion. She expected that Andrea would follow her ideas when she grew up. Her mother was in tension as she did not bring up Andrea, but left the duty to her grandparents. Andrea’s mother was a sole breadwinner; she was always away from home searching for the family’s needs. Later on, Andrea’s mother married John Terry, who was later disliked by Andrea. She was irritated by her mother’s attitude and feistiness towards her and the family. She enjoyed staying away from home, and this was boosted when she joined the college. However, when her mother called her, in July 1992, and informed her that she had cancer, she thought that it was best idea if her mother stayed with her. At that time, she was married to DarnayCollier and had two children. John Terry, her stepfather, was not able to handle the illness of her mother; therefore, Andrea became the gatekeeper and nurse for her mother. She accompanied her to the numerous doctors’ appointments, and she was by her side through the whole of her surgery. In addition, she read books that informed her about the stage-four ovarian cancer—which Earline was diagnosed.
Indeed, Andrea Collier had not been so close to her mother during her teenage life. She left her family at the age of 12 when her mother married her stepfather. The illness was a devastating experience to her and the whole of Collier family. John Terry had no idea of care that should be bestowed to a sick person; therefore, subjecting the burden to her stepdaughter, Andrea. Collier had a family, which needed her care. This forced Darnay Collier to be involved with the households’ chores and ensure that the kids were comfortable with the new arrangement. Andrea was often involved in her mother’s illness, as her mother needed most of her attention. It was quite challenging to the family. However, as hardworking woman, she had to squeeze the tight schedule in order to attend to her work and children—when there was a need. The children were astonished to see what was happening to their grandmother. Andrea was able to gain skills on how to handle each of the different personality traits in the society (Collier, 2003). As her mother was always strict in her ideas, even during her illness, she knew how to handle her without being disappointed. The travels she made, back and forth the hospital with her mother, cemented their daughter-to-mother relationship.
Andrea Collier was involved in all visits to the hospital that her mother was supposed to attend. Her experience with the surgeons and the medical practitioners is not something to ignore. Collier accompanied her mother to chemotherapy that she was supposed to undertake. During one of the chemotherapies, her mother produced some of the Barbie dolls that she loved when she was a kid. In the hospital, Andrea was given instructions on how to take care of her mother, and all other patients with cancer. She was able to do research on the stage-four ovarian cancer, which her mother was diagnosed, and understood the causes, symptoms, and how it can be treated at its early stage.
Though the experience was horrible, Collier’s family had to endure with the regular visits to the health care. After her mother had felt better, thanks to the chemotherapy she was subjected to, they travelled to Las Vegas to attend the Barbie show. Andrea wanted her mother to relax, as per doctor’s prescriptions, and forget that she was under medication. However, Earline fell seriously ill, and Collier had to return to Michigan for immediate medication. She tried all the medication in order to realize her mother was well, but it was unfortunate as she succumbed to death. Despite this, Andrea had learnt a lot about chemotherapy treatment, and the hospitality nature of the medical professionals. In addition, she was able to understand the existence of various types of cancer, and the preventive strategies that need to be undertaken (Collier, 2003).
Collier’s story reveals the relationship that she had with her mother—in the course of child-life and teenage life. It demonstrates how trauma and illness can bring families together. In her life, Collier had never imagined that she would one day take care of her ailing mother. After she had married her stepfather, Collier’s mother shifted her attention to her husband and left Collier to fend for her emotions and psychological well-being. Collier understood that her mother and stepfather did not need her in their life. After many years of being apart, Earline remembers her and called Collier to inform her of the current situation that has faced the family. Despite the horrible details that the author narrates about the grueling demands and terminal illness that her family faced, Andrea Collier aimed at narrating the peace-making story of daughter and mother. From the story, it can be deduced that the daughter-to-mother relationship will always remain despite the outrageous activities that may characterize their lives.
In conclusion, the story is audaciously true, and the author has perfectly pitched it to demonstrate her theme of peacemaking to the readers. Although it is camouflaged with misfortunes that affected the family, it is neither gratuitous nor sentimentally morbid. The story provides a moral statement on the need for making peace with the family members, friends, or enemies. Earline died peacefully after she accomplished her mission of peacemaking with her daughter. Though the family was subjected to financial strain and most of the family’s time was spent with the sick mother, they were able to achieve the desired objective. Indeed, the current society is characterized with individuals who are in the same situation as Collier.
References
Collier, A. K. (2003). Still with Me: A Daughter’s Journey of Love and Loss. New York: Simon & Schuster