Sex is a very important aspect in the life of a human being and is a topic that must be addressed carefully. Sex is more than just the physical aspect of intercourse it involves emotions and how we perceive ourselves as human beings whether male or female. A good number of parents usually want to do their utmost best in approaching this issue but they are uncomfortable with how to approach it with their children. It is very recommendable for parents to talk through this issue with their child because one way or another, the child is still going to gain knowledge about the subject. The processes by which they get this information besides hearing it from a parent might be negative or positive so why risk and play cards with these possibilities. It is extremely advisable for a parent to approach the subject sooner rather than later (Ringel, 2007, para 3).
As a school counselor, I would like to approach the subject with the parents because I have evaluated and concluded that many parents have a difficult time with the subject. It is my utmost concern that the children in the school receive sex education early both at school and at home and what better way of ensuring that this happens than having a talk with the parents? Parents should leave this session with a good understanding of how this crucial topic is addressed (Crooks and Baur, 2007, p243).
According to Blekinsop, Wade, Benton, Gnaldi, and, Schagen (2004, para 7) “studies conducted provide evidence that children who have been talked to freely about sex and sexuality are less likely to engage in irresponsible sexual behaviors when they are teenagers than those children who had not been advised about sex and sexuality when they were still young”. Therefore, my message to parents of growing children is to approach the topic of sex with a positive mind. My main objective for the session is to make the parents informed on the issues of sex to avoid the children in our school from dropping out of school due to sex related problems later on in life. As a precautionary method, because prevention is better that cure, a talk with the parents would ensure that the kids learn about sex both at home and in school for better emphasis. I believe that by the end of this session those parents who do not know what to do with this issue will be enlightened on the approaches that they can make to ensure that their children do not become victims of irresponsible sexual behaviors.
I have chosen the parents because parents are always in for the best interest of their children. It is much better and easier for me to explain to the parents how to go about it because parents have a better understanding of their children. Parents are also more likely to remember to talk to their children more frequently than the school counselor is. The parent is also able to talk individually to the child and make them understand the issue better than a school counselor. Another benefit that comes with teaching parents on how to address the issue is because, a parent would have a greater length of time to address every issue that the child asks as compared to school where the counselor is dealing with a whole load of children, and addressing each and every issue raised by the children becomes tough (Kirby, Barth, Leland and Fetro, 1991, p253).
In my decision to address this topic, I thought that I should tell parents when the best time to address this issue, this includes both time factor and the age. What the parents should tell the children and how they should say it. The importance of developing a close relationship with a child and getting their confidence in discussing the subject with the parent (Ringel, 2007, para 10).
The first step in this process is to initiate the learning process as early as possible for those who have young children. For example when teaching them about their anatomy when they are still young, parents should point out and indicate that this is the eye and not to feel shy to point out the penis or the vagina. An early education like this one will proceed and gradually the child will come to be open with you about sex and sexuality. If a parent finds the topic an uncomfortable one to approach, and finds it difficult to talk to their kid about sex. They can read some books that will give them insight on how to approach the subject and if the parent still feels uncomfortable about the topic, it is advisable for the parent to find a person who is trusted and close to them and talk to them about the issue and they will find that the more he or she talks about the topic the freer it will feel with time (Wight, Abraham and Scott, 1998, p322).
A key factor that parents should note according to Ringel (2007, para 13) is keeping an open relationship with their child. This open relationship enables a child to ask a question related to sex whenever they feel like they need clarification.
The when to tell to talk about the parent is another issue that faces parents. In response to this, parents should take the initiative of talking to the child if they see that the child is not asking and the parents feel like now is the best time to address the issue. The parent should grab an opportunity or occasion that would make it possible to strike a conversation on sex for example the sight of a pregnant woman when they are together with the child presents a very good opportunity ((Schaamar, Abraham, Gillmore, Kok, 2004, p262).
Another when to start the topic is during puberty when the child starts experiencing certain developmental changes in their bodies. During this period of puberty, children become anxious about the new and various physical changes taking place on their bodies. This presents a good opportune time when the parent can be able to talk to the child about the current changes and not only this, but the parent should be able to elaborate on the changes that are yet to come. This will ensure that the child is informed and knows what to expect in order to reduce the anxiety (Schaamar et al, 2004, p263).
How the parent should approach the topic is another issue. During the talks, it is important for the parent to realize that his or her values on sex and sexuality are clearly communicated to the child. This will not necessarily be their views about the topic as they grow but at least it will serve to direct them on what is considered right or wrong (Kirby et al, 1991, p254).
The parent should also make the child understand what is entailed in sexual relationships on top of knowing about sex. According to Blekinsop et al (2004, para 13)”The parent should make the child understand that there are feelings involved with sexual relationships. There are emotional feelings such as caring and love which accompany sex”. They should make the child understand that sex is not only physical. By including the emotions associated with sex, they child would be able to fight peer pressure in future.
In addition, the parent should not forget to list the consequences that come with sex. The parent should also explain to the kid about dating which is a part that many parents tend to overlook. The parent should make the kid to understand that dating is a process that two people in a sexual relationship have to go through. People just do not fall into it without a period of getting to know each other. This way the child will be on their guard. The parent should remember that talking about sex is a process that goes with stages and appropriate information should be given to children depending ion their ages (Kirby et al, 1991, p256).
In summary, parents should provide sex knowledge to their children as early as the parent deems it necessary to do so. Sex forms a vital part of human life and if the parent does not talk to the child about it the child will find out eventually about it in a way that maybe might result to harm. This can be avoided by the parent if they get to educate the child earlier about the issues that are involved with sex. If this happens, the school can be able to reduce the statistics of teenage pregnancy and other issues that are involved with sex related complications.
Reference
Blenkinsop, S., Wade, P., Benton, T., Gnaldi, M. and, Schagen, S. (2004). Evaluation of the APAUSE Sex and Relationships Education program. London: National Foundation for Educational Research
Crooks, R., Baur, k. (2007). Our Sexuality. Belmont, California: Wadsworth Publishing
Kirby, D., Barth, R., Leland, N. and, Fetro, J. (1991). Reducing the risk: a new curriculum to prevent sexual risk-taking Family Planning Perspectives 23 pp.253- 263
Ringel, M. (2007). Talking with Your Son or Daughter About Sex. Web.
Schaalma, P., Abraham, C., Gillmore, R., and, Kok, G. (2004). Sex Education as Health Promotion: What Does it Take?’ Archives for Sexual Behaviour 33(3): 259-269
Wight, D., Abraham, C. and Scott, S. (1998). Towards a psychosocial theoretical framework for sexual health promotion. Health Education Research, 13 pp.317- 330
Appendix
Teaching parents of early schoolchildren on sex and sexuality:
- Children need to be educated about sex and sexuality
- Parents should talk to children about sex and sexuality as early as possible
- What to tell children and when
- Sex education at an early age is a recommendable approach to sex education
- Sex education is enhanced when a good open relationship exists between parent and child
- Dating is a requirement for a sexual relationship that is emotionally healthy
- Puberty is a vital stage to educate a child about sex and sexuality
- Sex education is reliable to prevent consequence that result from irresponsible sex