Introduction
Communication is a powerful tool that defines the social structure of a society, values held by people, and the motivation that an individual may have in life. It makes it possible for people to interact within a society in order to achieve a common goal. Effective communication is vital in every aspect of a person’s life. Within a family, there must be an effective way of communication in order to ensure that members of the family understand each other properly. In a community, effective communication is vital in enhancing peaceful coexistence of all its members. The government needs to communicate to people effectively so that their leadership vision can be seen by all (Castells, 2013).
Children who are growing up rely on communication when developing their personality in life. This is presented appropriately in the book ‘For One More Day’ that was written by Mitch Albom. The research will focus on the problem of poor communication in Benetto’s family, and how this affected his personality later in life.
Discussion
In his early childhood, Benetto grew up under the care of both parents. However, it was clear even at this early stage that communication within the family was very poor. Albom (2006) says, “One day the father told Benetto that he could be a mama’s boy or a daddy’s boy, but could not be both” (p. 57). Given the fact the he admired the father so much and wanted to be like him, he chose to be a daddy’s boy. He believed that being a boy his father would guide him to become a responsible man just like Benetto believed he was. However, one day the father just disappeared. Benetto thought that he would come back, but this did not happen. He was seriously depressed because his role model was gone.
He wanted to be a daddy’s boy, but the daddy had disappeared. He had made his opinion that he did not want to be a mama’s boy, and therefore, the presence of the mother did not mean much to him. This problem was worsened by the fact that the mother never explained to him where the father had gone to, and whether or not he would come back. There was a poor communication between the mother and son in this family. The mother knew that the son was suffering because of the absence of the father, but she never communicated to the son effectively in order to fight this depression. This resulted into a lot of pain to the boy, making him become an irresponsible man in the society.
Timely and consistent reassurance is the intervention that Benetto needed to overcome the depression when the father left. This is a type of communication where one talks to another consistently over an issue with the view of addressing a deeply rooted fear in time before its effects can start manifesting in the individual. This intervention is supported by Paul Watzlawick’s Theory of Interactional View. According to this theory, communication within families plays an important role in defining the personality of an individual. Benetto lacked someone to share his vision of life with after the father disappeared. The mother ignored her role of shaping young Benetto’s life, and this made him grow up into a very irresponsible man. This reassurance from the mother was necessary when the father left.
The above intervention is supposed to work by changing the mind of the boy about being a daddy’s boy. When the father told Benetto to choose between the father and the mother, it was very normal that he chose the father because he identified more with him. However, the father was no longer with him, and this mindset had to be changed. The mother would have started by explaining to Benetto where the father had gone, and how long he would take there before coming back. As the title of the intervention strategy suggest, this should have come in a timely manner before the boy started worrying about the father’s absence. The mother should have maintained a consistence reassurance to the boy, always addressing his fear.
When the father was telling Benetto to choose between the mother and the father, it was apparent that the boy cherished both parents. Turning the boy to believe in her would not have been a complex task if the mother acted in a timely manner. This is confirmed when the mother appears to him when he attempted suicide. One day reassurance was enough to make him change his reckless life. This means that the mother would have made him better if she would have done this, years back when the boy was young.
As explained above, the Theory of Interactional View holds that communication between members of the family plays an important role in defining one’s personality. This means that communication between the mother and Benetto would have played a pivotal role in changing his view about life. This was supposed to come in a timely manner. The intervention was also supposed to be consistent in order to ensure that the desired result was achieved. The mother remained the only figure in the family that could offer young Benetto guidance and address his fears. She failed to use this intervention.
This theory confirms when members of the family communicate, the message always carries a lot of weight, and it can define one’s personality. For this reason, this intervention approach would have been very appropriate in solving this problem. This theory further emphasizes on the role of close parental communication in helping children overcome their fears. The theory states that overcoming some of the fears in life can be very difficult for a child when the fear is not addressed adequately by their parents. Children have very high trust on their parents. They believe that their parents are always right. For that reason, they will try to follow their guidelines, especially if they are given consistently and in a timely manner. Benetto’s problem deeply needed reassurance from someone in authority. The only person who had this authority was the mother.
She was also in the best position to determine what could have affected the boy that much. She was aware of the father’s disappearance, and given that the boy loved his father, it was easy to predict where the problem was and address it adequately. As this theory holds, her word had a lot of authority to the boy. She was the only remaining authority after the departure of the father. He should have offered guidance to the child by maintaining close communication meant to reassure the boy.
In my opinion, I believe that this intervention would have worked in addressing the problem of young Benetto. As stated in the title of this intervention strategy, this was supposed to come in a timely manner, and the mother should have been consistent in reassuring the boy that all was well. The theory identified above notes that communication from a mother has a lot of authority to a child if it is given in a positive environment. This means that even if this boy would remain sad because of the sudden disappearance of the father, the melancholy would have faded away slowing with the consistent reassurance from the mother.
The boy would have started realizing that he could still be a mama’s boy but become a successful and responsible father. The reassurance was to make the boy overcome his fears in life given that his role model was gone. I also believe that there are a times when young Benetto not only felt lonely, but also betrayed by people he trusted. He felt lonely because the father had made him chose between the two parents, and when he chose the father, he disappeared before he could see the benefits of being a daddy’s boy. He felt betrayed because the father did not keep the promise of making him experience what it takes to be a daddy’s boy. All these issues could have been addressed through this strategy.
Conclusion
It is clear from the above discussion that the main problem that made Benetto become an irresponsible person in life was lack of adequate communication between him and his mother. Using timely and consistent reassurance strategy, the mother would have solved this problem.
References
Albom, M. (2006). For One More Day. New York: Hyperion. Web.
Castells, M. (2013). Communication Power. Oxford: Oxford University Press. Web.