Introduction
The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir is one of the most revolutionary and provocative attempts to discuss the role of women in society and understand it through the prism of gender relationships. The author underlines that it is wrong to divide people and their opportunities regarding their gender and says that a woman, as well as a man, is a human being (Beauvoir 24). The relationships between men and women vary, and one of the factors that may determine both genders is love.
Beauvoir identifies several crucial pathologies of love. Though there are no clear definitions of what the pathology of love is, her discussion helps to realize that such concepts as jealousy, domination, marriage, sadism, persuasion, and shyness play an important role in the emotional development of men and women. In this paper, jealousy and domination will be discussed and interpreted as the pathologies of love to comprehend if they differ between men and women and if there are some social institutions that may be used to mitigate the development of these concepts.
Love and the Reasons for Its Pathologies
Love of men and love of women are characterized by different purposes and outcomes in human life. According to Beauvoir, it may be courtly, guilty, platonic, sexual, or free. Still, the list of epithets that may be appropriate for this word is long indeed, and the author introduces the only appropriate and correct opinion that love does not have the same meaning for both genders (773). Women usually compare love to total devotion “with soul and body, without any consideration or reserve,” and men find it necessary to be as fast as possible from such presupposition of love (Beauvoir 773). Love is unpredictable and all-consuming.
Love is so frequent and expected in human lives that people are usually challenged by the necessity to understand its meaning and fail to use it in a proper way. In a short period of time, love turns from the happiest and most helpful emotions into a disease that has to be investigated and treated. The pathologies of love destroy all positive attitudes and effects. Though not all behaviors are pathologic, and many cases of human relationships are still normal and understandable, love cannot hold enough space in feminine life, as many people used to think (Beauvoir 775).
Love may be replaced by husband satisfaction, children’s well-being, social life, career, or personal pleasure. Such replacement and the inability to understand when such change has actually occurred cause multiple misunderstandings and conflicts. The pathologies of love gain different forms and cause the reactions for which people are not always ready.
Pathological Jealousy in Men and Women
Jealousy is an integral part of human relationships that cannot be completely understood or avoided despite numerous attempts to predict and mitigate it. Jealousy is defined as a feeling of fear of losing something or someone. People are not always ready to give up and share what they have already earned. They want to keep everything as it is and protect their property. In human relationships, jealousy is what may control emotions or influence humans’ steps and decision making. As the pathology of love, jealousy is a dangerous thing because it is usually accompanied by such feelings as anger, pride, anxiety, pain, or joy. Jealousy, as the pathology of love, is a “congenital illness,” during which it is impossible to love something or somebody else, and it is necessary to know more about this person (Beauvoir 563).
People start feeling anger or anxiety because of the impossibility of gathering enough information about their partners. They are afraid that they cannot comprehend each other. Such concerns and high expectations may lead to new problems and negatively result in human relationships.
Beauvoir explains that male and female jealousy differs by its nature. Men’s jealousy is usually quick, insatiable, and easy to awake (Beauvoir 243). They want to possess something to demonstrate their power or just an ability to control someone. Like lions defend their property, a man cannot allow someone else to possess something or someone that or who can belong to him. This fundamental point shows that men are able to use their strength and rage and demonstrate their powerful emotions that can hardly be controlled by women. Female jealousy is not as dangerous physically as male jealousy is. However, women are usually more insecure and jealous than men, and, fortunately for men, in most cases, they may avoid physical or sexual damage as a result of their women’s pathological jealousy.
Domination in Human Relationships as Pathology
Domination is one of the main characteristics of the relationships that are developed between a man and a woman. Though the cases of female domination have already been observed and proved, male domination in relationships is frequent and explained by existential, economic, and social factors (Beauvoir 69).
Domination is the pathology of love that is usually observed in long-term relationships and marriage. A woman can experience a number of negative outcomes due to her husband’s domination, intentions to control, and creation of the conditions that meet men’s needs but never women’s. As a result, such pathology of love influences a woman’s ability to demonstrate her skills at work and in society. Instead of protecting personal rights, women start feeling fear and uncertainty.
They cannot make independent decisions and usually want someone to approve their actions. Domination may be dangerous because when a man gains control over a woman, it is hard to predict the outcomes of such relationships and the quality of orders that may be given. Male domination is usually the order that cannot be broken. It is rooted in the positions people prefer in sex and the relationships of the animals where reflexes and natural laws are considered. Female domination is usually interpreted as a kind of game, and this pathology does not have as serious outcomes on men as it has on women when male domination occurs.
Social Decisions to Pathological Relationships
Beauvoir introduces several strong approaches to mitigate the pathologies of love. One of the most interesting approaches is to consider the effects of the Soviet revolution and promote equal education and opportunities for both men and women (Beauvoir 856).
The same conditions in the workplace, similar salaries, and erotic freedoms should encourage women to forget about their dependence on or connection with men. Marriage should not be a one-sided agreement between men and women. Women should be obliged to think about their future and their livelihood. Women have to use the law to protect their rights but not to learn what they can or cannot do. It is high time for a woman to stop looking for a kind of demigod in men (Beauvoir 858). Tolerance, equalities, opportunities, and free choices have to be supported by society.
Conclusion
Sometimes, it is enough to begin and introduce an idea. If people are interested in the development and growth of the offered idea of not being divided into males and females, they can find sources and time to create a new society with no place for such pathologies of love as jealousy and domination. Love is something people should strive for without being afraid of its pathologies or unclear substitutions. Human relationships vary, and social life, the workplace, children, parents, or husbands/wives should be defined as the things that can be substituted by, but as a contribution to love that improves human life.
Work Cited
Beauvoir, Simone. The Second Sex. Translated by Constance Borde and Sheila Malovany-Chevallier, Vintage Books, 2011.