Introduction
By genre, Leo Tolstoy’s book “Confession” is an autobiographical novel concerning the basic challenges of global order. In the narrative, the author discusses the main ideas that a person experiences throughout life, such as death, morality, honor, religion, and spirituality, as examples of which the writer analyses his attitude toward the world. The tale progresses as the author attempts to summarize his many years of writing by conveying an inner semantic grasp of the meaning of existence.
The story’s narrative is carried out by describing the author’s own life story, beginning with the depiction of spiritual experiences in the period of youthful nihilism, as well as disbelief in the crisis of adulthood in possession of numerous life benefits such as health, recognition, wealth, and love. The author seeks answers to his queries in the beginning pages of the book, especially the meaning of life and all his actions.
The Subject the Author Seeks to Explore in the Text
The author recounts the emotional anguish that comes with nearing death, which renders all human hopes and wants useless. In the narrative, the author poses the reader with the question of the purpose of life and the inevitability of death since the author regards the worship of God and devotion to human advancement as useless without realizing the actual meaning of existence. Much of the tale is taken up with the author’s views on the divine beginning and the kingdom of heaven that awaits each individual after death, with the writer employing passages from the Gospel coupled with episodes from his own life.
The author describes how, after many years of total enjoyment, “something very strange began to happen to me. At first, I began having moments of bewilderment when my life would come to a halt as if I did not know how to live or what to do” (De Marneffe 1). Tolstoy was not fifty years old when he realized he was tired of life – “some irresistible force drew me to get somehow rid of it, the thought of suicide came to me as naturally as thoughts of improving life” (De Marneffe 3). The writer was so aware of the potential of suicide that he concealed the cord so he would not hang himself and took his revolver from his bed so he would not kill himself. Moreover, this occurred to him when he was at the pinnacle of glory, in full wealth.
The author’s experiences demonstrate that even the most cheerful person, by general judgment, who has everything a person could want, can be sad. Tolstoy needs help seeing why he requires all the benefits he has received. He sees no sense in his efforts because his life will be cut short. The man does not desire new experiences or feelings because everything is already known. Tolstoy is looking for life, but he already knows the answer. The author is sure that life has no meaning, but he continues to seek an answer to his query. Tolstoy clings to the notion that there is, after all, a meaning, but his thoughts overcome him.
For many years, the writer tortured himself with questions and endless discussions with himself and eventually resorted to science. Many years of hard reflection led the writer to God-related views, which he almost abandoned in childhood. However, he was unable to accept the Orthodox religion fully; faith, in his opinion, is simply knowledge of the significance of human existence, resulting in a person not killing himself but surviving.
Conclusion
Tolstoy’s worldview was thus utopian and inconsistent despite his genuine humanism. The author was looking for a purpose in everything around him, not focusing on the trivialities of life. He was so engrossed in his ideas and searches that everything around him lost its appeal and inspiration. The man who had everything imaginable had lost his enthusiasm for life. Tolstoy, on the other hand, attempts with all his power to hang on to life rather than commit suicide.
Work Cited
De Marneffe, Peter. Introduction to Ethics Reading Selections.
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