In general, I may describe myself as a peaceful and passive person who does not like to be involved in any type of conflict, especially on the basis of positions’ differences. To be precise, I believe that every person has his own opinion that cannot be easily changed through a conversation. When people have similar positions, they share knowledge, however, when their positions are opposite, their communication may lead to aggressive disagreement. However, I remember one situation that happened to me when I studied at the university – at that time, I did not avoid a conflict. I was assigned a task to review a documentary, and our professor wanted it to be completed in groups of two persons. My best friend and I decided to gather at my house to watch the film together and prepare a report, but he did not come, and his phone was switched off. The next day, he told me that he had downloaded a ready report from the Internet and advised me not to take this task seriously. I replied that he acted unfairly – we had a heated discussion, lost patience, blamed each other, and ended with ignorance of each other for more than a week.
Reflection
Reflecting on this case, I may say that my anger and irritation on the basis of my individual attitudes to the task have led to this conflict. It was the beginning of my study, and I had been working hard to have an opportunity to go to the university. In addition, I like to receive knowledge respecting the authority of a person who provides it to me. That is why when my professor gave us that task, I took it highly seriously as a responsible student who aimed to succeed. At the same time, I thought that others should have a similar attitude to this assignment, and I did not expect my best friend decided to skip it. That is why I felt irritated as my beliefs concerning other people’s perceptions turned to be illusional. At the same time, I was offended that my attitude to the task that was the only right one for me was taken non-seriously by another person. I believe that my feelings were deeply hurt, and this circumstance led to a conflict that nevertheless could and should have been avoided.
Communication Strategies: Being-Right Strategy
On the basis of this confrontation’s review, I may define three communication strategies that contributed to the escalation of a conflict. First of all, it was a being-right strategy that may be defined as a person’s belief in his righteousness and the ignorance of an opponent’s opinions (Scott, 2020). As previously mentioned, I strongly believed that all students took the teacher’s instructions seriously. I told my friend: “We SHOULD watch a documentary and write our personal report.” I did not want to listen to and accept other points of view and other people’s attitudes to this task that may be perceived by them as insignificant or possible to be made on the basis of existing work, and it would be good anyway. Instead, I wanted my friend to accept my position instantly and without any argument – thus, his disagreement caused my irritation and led to a conflict.
Mind-Reading
Another negative communication strategy was mind-reading – I did not try to listen to my friend’s argument in support of her position. Instead, I told him: “You care neither about your study nor my outcomes concerning this task.” Thus, I did not want to understand the genuine feelings, emotions, and motives of my friends – I simply decided by myself what he thought and felt, and that is the nature of mind-reading (Scott, 2020). In this case, I was offended not by the person’s real position but by his views that existed in my mind.
Playing the Blame Game
The third strategy that led to an unpleasant and long-lasting conflict was playing the blame game. This strategy means that opponents prefer to handle a conflict by blaming and criticizing each other for the situation (Scott, 2020). All in all, I did not want to listen to my friend – I just blamed him for his position, which was unacceptable to me. At the same time, my allegations logically caused my opponent’s anger and a defensive reaction expressed through accusations in return.
Reference
Scott, E. (2020). Conflict resolution mistakes to avoid. Verywell Mind. Web.