Cognitive Area
- Two principles of communication to discuss are “we cannot not communicate” (20) and “meanings are constructed in interpersonal communication” (22). Every person experiences the first principle in his/her life. Once, for instance, I had to say something to a person who was in a hurry. After a minute of talking I noticed that this person was constantly looking around and distracting; though he did not tell me anything to me, I knew that he was not interested in the conversation at that moment. I also experienced the second principle when I was a high school student. My friend and I were discussing a new girl in our class and when I said “I do not like her,” he replied “Why, she is so pretty!” What I was talking about was her personality, rather than looks. This means that our ideas of “liking” people are different.
- There are two people whom I self disclose to regularly: my mother and my best friend. I disclose to them because I can trust them and because each of them discloses to me in the same way. The main benefit associated with self disclosure is that one shares certain information thus easing his/her psychological burden; another benefit is that one can get advice in a difficult situation. The main risks, however, are that the person one discloses to may misunderstand you or even gain power in the relationship.
- Self disclosure to my mother as I was a teenager made us much closer. I felt easier when I disclosed to her some information from my Hidden Pane and the fact that she was able to help me proved to me that we need parents not only when we are children.
- The Internet increases self disclosure due to confidentiality it offers. One may share things with other people staying anonymous. The information from the Hidden Pane is disclosed easier than ever.
Affective Area
Each of these conflicts made my relationships with other people stronger for they have given me a reputation of a trouble-solver. I have found certain common patterns in my conflict style – I always try to either settle the conflict and to avoid it. To manage the emotions during the conflict, I try to take a deep breath and not to give in to the anger. Sometimes, however, I feel like getting into a fight to prove my right for the people not to think that I am unable to do this.
Behavioral Area
The first area of interpersonal communication that I would like to improve is message production. I wish to improve it because it is not always that the words come out the way I would like during the conversation. A friend of mine is extremely effective in this area. He can easily assume what his interlocutor is trying to say and often finishes sentences and phrases for him/her, even though he may not always know him/her well. I have noticed that my friend is always straightforward when he is talking to other people. Perhaps, such behavior could help me as well to improve my message production and make people hear what I really want to say.
Another area of communication to improve is nonverbal communication. I need to improve this area because quite often I refrain from saying something that would make a person upset, which is why I often take part in conversations I am not interested in. One more friend of mine is unbelievably good at this. He may let the interlocutor know that he is not interested in the conversation by his look or gestures; at this, he makes it funny, so that the interlocutor could never feel offended. I could learn from my friend’s behavior to use humoristic gestures (such as pretended yawning or eye rolling which I feel uncomfortable to do) during the conversations and to avoid the undesirable ones with the help of this humor. This would greatly strengthen my communication skills.