The answer to what makes people fall in love — good looks or a likable personality, depends on one’s understanding of love. In this argumentative essay, love will be defined as a deep emotional attraction that emerges between two individuals. This attraction may develop into long-term, stable romantic and family relationships or degrade into mutual frustration and subsequent separation. However, both scenarios are impossible without a powerful infatuation that begins soon after the initial acquaintance. During this period, lovers are not expected to think and act rationally, as quick emotional judgments guide their decisions. Given this consideration, this essay argues that physical attraction has more impact on the development of love relationships than great personality.
Most importantly, several academic studies provide evidence confirming the positive relationship between physical attractiveness and falling in love. For instance, Sharratt et al. (2018) conducted 22 qualitative interviews with visibly different (disfigured) people and found that a positive appraisal of physical appearance was vitally important for forming romantic relationships. Additionally, women felt the impact of attractiveness-based judgments more acutely than men (Sharratt et al., 2018). As one of the participants said: “you get somebody that’s saying all the right things and then totally ignores you” (Sharratt et al., 2018, p. 35). In this example, one can see how perceived physical attractiveness acts as the main factor in love. Unfortunately, when a person is deemed insufficiently attractive, they may not receive a chance to make a positive impression with their likable personality.
Moreover, attractive looks can outweigh negative perceptions of personality, causing individuals to fall in love despite concerns about their love interest’s personality traits. McGloin and Denes (2018) surveyed 305 heterosexual participants by letting them view opposite-sex dating profiles. Out of this research sample, 77 males and 68 females viewed profiles with enhanced pictures. Enhanced profile pictures featured actors in soft lighting, making their skin look smoother and healthier. In addition, the female actor had her hair styled and wore make-up, while the male actor was dressed in a casual outfit and had bright and clear eyes (McGloin & Denes, 2018). Subsequently, the respondents were asked to evaluate physical attractiveness, trustworthiness, and similarity of interests with people from the profiles and express their dating intentions toward those people.
Results demonstrated that the attractiveness of the profile picture increased the intent to message and date the profile owner. The effect was even stronger in male participants, who expressed the wish to date a more attractive female from the enhanced profile picture despite the lower perception of their trustworthiness (McGloin & Denes, 2018). Therefore, one can claim that attractiveness takes priority at the beginning of romantic relationships. People are willing to take risks with more attractive and potentially less trustworthy partners, as looks become a worthy compensation for potential troubles. In contrast, an individual with a decent personality may get overlooked in romantic relationships if their appearance is not perceived sufficiently attractive.
Furthermore, attractiveness may take priority over personality in short-term hook-up relationships since love is based on emotional rather than rational thinking. Puigvert et al. (2019) interviewed 100 female adolescents from several European countries and found that boys with violent attitudes and behaviors were mostly preferred for hooking up. In this regard, one can easily imagine a situation where an attractive person with a violent or manipulative personality successfully seduces another individual. In the end, a charmed victim may not care to make a deeper examination of their romantic partner’s personality.
One can argue that true love emerges when individuals get to know each other’s personalities closer. Consequently, physical attractiveness should be considered a priority only for first contacts, hook-ups, and short-term relationships. However, research by Brazil and Forth (2020) revealed that men who scored higher in psychopathy could mimic the desirable personality qualities of potential romantic partners. Given this finding, one can claim that the role of personality in the formation of love is quite limited. While Mogilski et al. (2019) found that the honesty-humility dimension of personality was particularly important in romantic partner selection, there is no protection against faking such traits. A careful evaluation of an individual’s personality over the course of acquaintance may help avoid danger. However, such a process would likely stretch beyond falling in love in terms of time and effort spent on romantic relationships.
In conclusion, one can state that people fall in love depending on attractive looks more than on a great personality. On the one hand, a decent and likable person may not even receive a chance for love if they do not meet certain attractiveness criteria. On the other hand, desirable personality traits, such as trustworthiness, humility, and honesty, can be faked, which makes them dubious criteria for falling in love. As a result, people tend to prioritize looks over personality when it comes to the initial romantic partner selection. Overall, truly powerful love may be born when people experience each other’s real personalities, but the vital first impression largely depends on the perceived physical attractiveness of a potential partner.
References
Brazil, K. J., & Forth, A. E. (2020). Psychopathy and the induction of desire: Formulating and testing an evolutionary hypothesis. Evolutionary Psychological Science, 6(1), 64-81. Web.
McGloin, R., & Denes, A. (2018). Too hot to trust: Examining the relationship between attractiveness, trustworthiness, and desire to date in online dating. New Media & Society, 20(3), 919-936. Web.
Mogilski, J. K., Vrabel, J., Mitchell, V. E., & Welling, L. L. (2019). The primacy of trust within romantic relationships: Evidence from conjoint analysis of HEXACO-derived personality profiles. Evolution and Human Behavior, 40(4), 365-374. Web.
Puigvert, L., Gelsthorpe, L., Soler-Gallart, M., & Flecha, R. (2019). Girls’ perceptions of boys with violent attitudes and behaviours, and of sexual attraction. Palgrave Communications, 5(1), 1-12. Web.
Sharratt, N. D., Jenkinson, E., Moss, T., Clarke, A., & Rumsey, N. (2018). Understandings and experiences of visible difference and romantic relationships: A qualitative exploration. Body Image, 27, 32-42. Web.