Introduction
Everybody in the globe at one point finds him or herself in situations that give them either nice or terrible experience. Experiences change an individual’s future based on the thoughts a person says to him or herself; the thoughts people hold to themselves, which is also known as the belief system which can change someone’s life either positively or negatively (Neenan, p. 180).
Positive thinkers always grow out of every experience, believing that everything happens for their advantage, and they always keep searching for the good side of every terrible situation around them. When two individuals are subjected to the same situation, they come out differently due to their personality differences, such as their level of self-development (Neenan, p. 182). Experience is one of the resilience components that creates a greater impact in somebody’s life, which will make the person more or less resilient.
Experience is important in several ways; experience aids in building resilience through self-control, adaptability to challenges, optimism, self-sufficiency, persistence, and attitude, which are helpful in attaining success. Experience creates such huge impacts since it captures someone’s perception, ideas, and emotions. In my entire life, I have been more resilient since I am a positive thinker who believes that all happens to my advantage. I have been a positive, forward thinker and socially connected to the people around me by developing self-control, a strong belief system, negative emotions management, frustration tolerance, learning from past experience, and knowing the situations within or out of my control.
Resilience Assessment Through Experiences
Poor academic has been one of the experiences that have built my resilience. Failing in exams taught me a lesson that I live to remember and has always made me accountable for my actions and view of life generally. Self-control is the art of remaining composed, sober judgment, and making rational decisions during times of cool or tough moments (Neenan, p. 180). Lack of self-control was a challenge since I acted mostly out of impulse rather than wise principles due to lack of experience. I had no self-control starting from my time expenditure, money expenditure, and taking of unhealthy foods, which affected my health.
Failing experience taught me the importance of self-control, which has been helping me in remaining resilient. Later, I realized that I chose to fail in the exam since I had all it took to perform better; the problem was that I never knew the thing which was in my control.
I struggled with a lot of things, including the things I could not change. I fought for things such as seeking acceptance from my well-performing friends, which I failed to get. After many rejections from friends following my poor academic performance, I developed depression and stress-related sickness, which compromised my health well-being. My poor academic grades were also a result of low self believe which resulted from past poor performance.
Seeking social acceptance from friends took much of my time until I failed to focus on the root cause of my exam failure. I never learned from my past; instead, I used my past failure as an excuse not to keep on trying. The wrong perception towards education took a toll on my life which led to a negative shift in my attitude towards learning; this negative attitude led to the feeling of self insufficiency, which killed my persistence towards academic progress.
Examples of Experience Usage in Life
I later realized how much time I wasted putting myself down seeking social acceptance. I realized nobody was paying attention to my academic failure, and stress and depression were neither giving good results nor bearing fruits. I decided to use these terrible experiences to my advantage; for example, I took the initiative of disapproving all the friends that I was not born a failure. I made this resolution since from my observation, whether I seek or stopped seeking my friend’s attention, they did not care, so I thought it was right not to relax until I disapprove my hater, enemies, and everyone who never believed my academic abilities.
Being stressed concerning my failing experience was not making any positive difference, I then decided to do something different that could have made a difference other than worrying. I drafted resolutions of waking up for studies for two hours daily instead of worrying the whole day; this is because I realized that little action could make things better than too much stress could do. It was true that I could not influence people to value and accept me, but I could work on my results to change. The power of changing things relies on personal decisions, following the fact that respect is earned and never ordered (Neenan, p. 179). Worrying about things out of someone’s control is also another way of wasting time and energy while focusing on rectifying behavior is the best way to gain respect and acceptance from people.
Learning is one the best way to grow and develop in life; if a person cannot grow then, they become dead while alive. I started learning the things within my control and the areas that I needed to work on to get better. Attitude is a small thing making a big difference; if the same brain can score excellent and poor grades at the same time, then attitude may be a factor to be considered. I developed a positive attitude towards my failing subjects after understanding that all the grades from different subjects will count. I stopped viewing my results in terms of what I wanted to be or the teacher I loved the most and started thinking of my academic journey as my success agenda.
The best way of maintaining self-control is understanding the results of the action, judgment, and decisions. Self-control prevents people from landing into silly mistakes and problems, which sometimes can make us lose hope in life. Self-control entails taking the right foods, not those that can cause diseases that can impede us from being our best. When someone owns the results of their action or practice personal responsibility, they become self-controlled (Neenan, p. 184). Creating life goals assists in giving direction, and this also builds a foundation for self-control through determination.
Being Positive and Forward Thinker and Connected to People
The first and the most important way of being positive is developing self-acceptance rather than seeking social acceptance from the people. Appreciativeness is more of a developing gratitude nature; many people never feel the value of their possession until they lose them; this is because humans believe that life is guaranteed (Neenan, p. 182). Holding realistic goals is another way of attaining positivity; when a person is unrealistic, they cannot achieve such goals, thus making them believe that they are not good enough for success.
Low self-esteem kills self believe; self believe nothing to do with perfection, but it has more to do with believing that someone has all it takes to succeed. Believing that everything happens with a good reason is another surest way of attaining positivity in life, and try looking for positivity in negativity which is considered being flexible (Neenan, p. 183). Creating life goals and having a role model are other ways through which a person can achieve positivity and staying connected to people during challenging moments. Goals creation helps someone in keeping focused on their goals instead of majoring in their life challenges. Having a role model is another way of gaining inspiration in life; sharing with the role models lets one aware that challenges are real and people can fail, but such experiences should not stop someone from losing hope.
Consulting with the role models also keeps someone connected to the people; this is because when one is stuck, they will be checking with their role models for motivational advice. Community involvement connects a person to the people since by sharing with others, one realizes that challenges are everywhere in the globe. By sharing, someone can realize the value of their possession because others may be having too little yet happy. Religious believes aids people in dealing with such moments since the religious leaders and members will be comforting using their religious believes, prayers, and scriptural readings. Belonging to a certain community also creates hope for being helped during a crisis, thus helping one in staying positive.
In setting goals, people should remain realistic, not set goals out of their passion and talents. Setting goals out of passion and talents can lead to consistent failure that can lead to losing hope. Being learning-oriented promotes positive thinking due to the fact that a person views any failure as a learning opportunity and not a failed moment (Neenan, p. 181). The problems a person may be going through now were once faced by other people; therefore, when they open up to share, they get helped easily. Failing to share with others can lead to problem overwhelming, which can lead to depression that can make someone lose hope.
Conclusion
Many times people create their experiences by the decision made at every stage of life. Experience being one of the resilience components can greatly affect someone’s future, but the main aim of life is making a positive difference. Therefore, to make a positive difference calls for creating better experiences through our day-to-day decisions. My resilience has been at its best since I have always mastered the art of self-control, openness to learning, perceiving every failed moment as a learning opportunity, maintaining a positive attitude, and gratitude all the time. Participating in communal activities and sharing with others, having role models are other key ways of remaining positive and connected to the people even during crises.
Sharing with others makes us aware that everybody faces challenges; communal involvement creates a sense of belonging to a given part of the community. Belonging to a given group within a community strengthens us, knowing that people will stand with us during hard moments. Role models motivate during dark moments, and through their past stories, we get motivated that regardless of the life challenges, success is still possible.
Work Cited
Neenan, Michael. Developing Resilience: A Cognitive-Behavioural Approach. Taylor & Francis, 2017.