What is a friendship? How does it influence our life? Does it really exist? How to become a real friend? All those questions concern people since ancient times and until present days nobody can give a clear answer to them. It seems to be easy to find a friend and remain good friends until the rest of your days.
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However, why than scientists and philosophers concern this issue so much and why there are so many books and treatise are written on friendship? Moreover, many people say that they are not fully aware of how to become a real friend.
So, one thing is certain, friendship is something that one cannot live without and friendship is an inseparable part of our existence. One should definitely have a friend because it should be in everyone’s life.
During centuries, a great number of literature works have been written on friendship. Poems, novels and folklore are full of descriptions of immortal friendship and heroic deeds that were made for the sake of it. In his book, Joseph Epstein said that the best writers on friendship are novelists (256).
The Folded Leaf by Maxwell is a great example of a complete friendship devotion. Though, different books were written in different times, the descriptions of a friendship have the same essence and estimate that one cannot be completely satisfied with his/her life if one does not have a friend.
However, it seems to be virtually impossible if someone does not have a friend. It can be a human or an animal, as animals are completely devoted friends indeed and can posses all the qualities that are extremely valuable for a real friend. A devoted friend is one of the best presents of life.
A fiend is one who can listen to you and keep secrets and promises, this is a person that you can rely on every moment in your life and one who strongly support you in your biggest problems and shares your happiness absolutely sincerely. It is very important for every one of us to have a person whom you can trust.
Kirberger and Mortensen assume that the one thing we all need from our friends and by far the most important in any friendship is trust (3). One should be extremely glad if he can trust somebody. It goes without saying, we are often afraid of sharing our secrets with people, however, you can be strongly sure that you can trust your dog or cat. Who said that they could not be friends?
In addition, you should not pretend or behave in an unusual for you way with your real friend. Neera Kapur Badhwar mentions that a friendship endures only if both friends continue to be the particular persons they are (4). Thus, your friend is your mutual soul and a part of you.
In conclusion, it should be mentioned that one should make an effort to save a friendship in his/her life. To have a friend is a totally awesome thing, however, it is a hard work as well. One should develop certain threats of character and personal values, such as the ability to listen to and empathize in order to be a good friend.
Selfishness, envy and double-facedness are the enemies of friendship. If one cannot overcome those treats of character, one will never have a friend in his/her life.
Badhwar, Neera Kapur. Friendship:A Philosophical Reader The United States of America, 1993.
Epstein, Joseph. Friendship: An Expose: The United States of America, 2006.
Kirberger ,Kimberly and Colin Mortensen. On Friendship: A Book for Teenagers Deerfield Beach, Health Communications, Inc, 2000.