An individual’s relationship with society starts with one’s self-perception and understanding of how a person fits into other people’s worldviews or expectations. Indeed, looking glass self is defined as one’s own view not in isolation from others but as part of the community (Tiwari et al., 2020). Self-esteem can be understood as a person’s feelings about oneself that may be positive or negative depending on various external and intrinsic factors (Tiwari et al., 2020). Self-concept seems to be built on these two terms because it is described as someone’s self-view formed over a period of time as a consequence of interacting with the world and internal monologue (Yu, 2020). In fact, various problems or success stories develop from the messaging that a person receives from early childhood, and I am not an exception. Unconditional support from my grandparents shaped my mindset into thinking that I could achieve anything if I put enough effort; however, negative ideas vested on me by other relatives lowered my self-esteem.
The positive messaging from my grandparents became the foundation for shaping my confidence in my abilities and maintaining a favorable-looking glass self. The constant encouragement I received from them from early childhood incentivized me to excel in school. In fact, I realized that my self-concept of a hard-working and intelligent student developed from my grandparents’ perception because it inspired me to read and study more. They always told me and others that I would have a successful career and live an accomplished and fulfilled life. Even though these statements were relatively early to make when I was five, they motivated me for my entire life to strive for excellence. Notably, they never made remarks about my appearance but offered unconditional love, support, and understanding.
The negative messaging primarily came from my parents and other second or third-degree relatives who, for some reason, mainly targeted my appearance. Reviewing my childhood photographs, I admitted the fact that, by the average standards, I was not a cute child. Notably, I had this feeling since early childhood when many of my relatives preferred to play with my other siblings and cousins, whom I considered beautiful or handsome. Moreover, I remember many of them making comments about my body, eating habits, clothes, hair, and skin at the onset of puberty. Since many of those remarks had a negative connotation, I perceived myself as absolutely unattractive until college, when I realized that one’s appearance plays only a mild role in becoming successful in most areas of life. Nevertheless, my self-esteem is still low when it comes to how I look because this negative messaging persists despite all my efforts to change it. Luckily, it does not significantly influence my performance in school or at work. However, low self-esteem creates various insecurities in my relationships, sometimes causing arguments and conflicts due to my destructive thinking.
In summary, the notions of self-esteem, looking glass self, and self-concept are essential in an individual’s life. These conceptions not only impact one’s relations with other people but create a mindful approach to how a person interacts with the world. I have been influenced by positive and negative messages from my grandparents and other relatives since early childhood. In fact, I believe both were important for me to develop an objective perception of myself to understand my strengths and not be trapped in delusions.
References
Tiwari, M., Narula, S., & Mathur, G. (2020). Looking‐glass‐self: Tale of happiness, self‐esteem, and satisfaction with life among transgender from Kinner community.Journal of Public Affairs, 1-9.
Yu, Y. (2020). The looking-glass self: Low self-concept clarity increases appearance management. ACR North American Advances, 48, 771-772.