Many people put too many questions to cover such themes as who they are or what they want to do in this life. Jackie Kay’s Trumpet is one of the stories that perfectly illustrate characters’ internal and external conflicts that took place after Joss Moody, a popular trumpet player, passed away. Kay uses Colman, Joss’s adapted son, as an example to indicate human attempts to be identified and to find out personal place in this world.
Colman symbolizes a man who has lost his identity since he was young. After Colman’s mother, Millicent, talks to a passenger on the bus who calls the black man an ape, Colman realizes “it made me look at my own colour of skin when I got home” (Kay 54). Colman notices this extreme difference between people and faces another problem concerning his personal identification. Joss reminds that Colman was born in Scotland, but he “didn’t feel Scottish. Didn’t feel English either. Didn’t feel anything” (Kay 51). This clear identification may symbolize the idea that the character does not know his roots. His unstable spiritual state between Scotland and London is related to the truth that he is of mixed race between black and white.
Colman is different from Joss; and the gap between these two characters makes Colman feel some kind of inner conflicts. Colman changes from the little boy, who admires Joss who is “good looking, talented, charismatic” (Kay 45), to a son, who sees himself as a person who are “talentless, ordinary fuckwits” (Kay 45). This transformation represents the results of Colman’s struggles with the differences of ethnicity in society and the problems that are characterized by the pressure of being a son of a famous trumpet player. Although Joss contributes his life to jazz and the trumpet is an equalizer of Joss’s identity, Colman is not interested in all these things and “got so bored I could have bored a hole in my own skull” (Kay 48) when Joss’s friends talk about jazz. As he demonstrates himself a person with the sense of alienation in lineage, he has the same feeling to his family. Although Colman is not as talented as his father is, he loves and respects him.
Colman was jealous of Sammy, Colman’s old friend: “once my father even gave Sammy a shot of his trumpet which drove me mad. He told Sammy he’d got the hang of it really quickly” (Kay 55). This case is a powerful example of Colman’s desire to be acknowledged by his father and to get his attention. However, Colman does not show the same kind of desire to Millicent. When Millicent loses control with Colman and hits him, Joss attempts to interfere in this situation and stands for Colman. This choice proves that Colman is closer to his father and provides Colman with an answer of why he has such feeling of confusion, anger, and grief. The reason is unexpected for the character as he finds out Joss’s true sex that is female.
People usually work hard and spend much time to find out who they are and what they want. However, there is no concrete answer to this question and Kay’s Trumpet helps to realize this truth. What people should remember is that they “were related the way it mattered” (Kay 58).