Introduction
In the studies of Moore and Hequembourg, the problems of lesbian and black lesbian mothers are explored, while it is pointed out that women of color and those belonging to lower classes appear to be underrepresented in many previous studies. This emphasizes the importance of paying attention to these types of families (Moore 113-115; Hequembourg 743-744).
Main body
As the mentioned studies show, race and social position influence the “coming-out” process, and it is particularly important for women who already have children. As it turned out, the lower the social position of a woman is, the more difficult it is for her to announce her sexual identity because that means adopting “multiple marginalized statuses” (Moore 116). Being respected in every community, including that of the people of color, motherhood may become a way of achieving a privileged status for these women. In this case, lesbians may give birth to their children when married or in a relationship with a man. The subsequent divorce and coming out becomes more difficult for them since they worry about the way it may influence their children (Moore 118-120).
In case a woman realized her sexuality in adolescence, she may come to the conscious decision of becoming a lesbian mother, fully understanding the implications of such an action. Still, according to Moore, by the time of this decision these women appear to have resolved their self-esteem problems connected to adopting “wrong” sexuality, which makes the process easier for them (118). Co-adopting is also more characteristic of such women (Moore 142).
Lesbian step-mothers appear to be rather detached from the family problems. For the lesbian mothers who have decided to adopt or give birth, their family is a result of struggling, both with the society and themselves, while step-mothers seem to have doubts about how well they fit into the new household and they need to exhibit unique adaptability to deal with these doubts (Moore 152; Hequembourg 742). This can be also partially explained by the fact that lesbian step-mothers often “lack a legal place in the family unit” (Moore 152). This brings up the problem of lesbian mothers’ institutionalization.
The notion of incomplete institutionalization was first used with respect to different-sex remarriages, but, as Hequembourg points out, it is perfectly applicable to lesbian motherhood (741). It is not only the problem of the disapproval exhibited by the society, but also that of legislation deficiency, as nowadays lesbian families lack “legal recognition of their families, terminology to address family members, and support from families of origin” (Hequembourg 751). This is what Hequembourg addresses as “the legal invisibility” (754). It makes the lives of lesbian mothers particularly difficult.
It could be pointed out that there exist other “invisible” types of families. For example, the status of nonresident fathers also evokes doubts and disrespect. It appears, however, that this kind of family relationship is more institutionalized than that of lesbian mothers. Nonresident fathers are supposed to be involved in the life of their children. They have the rights to visit and take care of their family, although not every nonresident father intends to make use of them. Therefore, it appears that the relationship between a nonresident father and his children is better regulated by the law and less frowned upon in society (Cabrera and Tamis-LeMonda 101-102; Hequembourg 754).
Conclusion
A more difficult case is that of non-resident gay fathers. While it is obvious that nowadays they are not discriminated against from the legal point of view, social acceptance is more difficult to gain because of many stereotypes, for example, those related to pedophilia. Apart from that, gay fathers seem to suffer from the same self-esteem problems as lesbian mothers. In general, their position appears to be as difficult as that of lesbian mothers (Berkowitz and Marsiglio 367-380). Therefore, it may be concluded that the problems raised in the before-mentioned studies are far from being solved.
Works Cited
Berkowitz, Dana, and William Marsiglio. “Gay Men: Negotiating Procreative, Father, And Family Identities”. Journal of Marriage and Family 69.2 (2007): 366-381. Web. 2015.
Cabrera, Natasha, and Catherine Tamis-LeMonda. Handbook Of Father Involvement. New York, NY: Routledge, 2013. Print.
Hequembourg, Amy. “Unscripted Motherhood: Lesbian Mothers Negotiating Incompletely Institutionalized Family Relationships”. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 21.6 (2004): 739-762. Web. 2015.
Moore, Mignon R. Invisible Families: Gay Identities, Relationships, and Motherhood among Black Women. Berkeley, LA: University of California Press, 2011. Print.