Introduction
We all have been to wedding gatherings, especially those officiated by clergy. Just before the wedding, they vow to love, to behold, till earth’s life ends. Young couples are driven by passion and love, which makes them instinctively believe that they will always be together. Shania Twain’s song “Forever and for Always” lyrics and video create the ideal illustration.
However, divorce statistics suggest that not all people who tie the knot grow old together. For instance, in 2020, there were 630,000 cases of separation in the United States, making the country number three in the world for divorce (Vuleta, 2022). Such findings should raise the alarm.
Does love cease after marriage? Do people change their minds regarding the spouses that they choose? Is it the life stress or the mere loss of interest in each other? Well, it can be anything! Only the people who have experienced such life commitments can be in a position to explain.
Nonetheless, it is worth noting that many couples have stayed for over half a century, still hold hands while walking, and are still happy. Perhaps the cure for those falling short is what keeps their hearts and homes. Some advice could benefit people at any stage of their marital life. In a recent marriage talk hosted by the famous American comedian Steve Harvey, four couples who have been married for more than ten years shared their secrets. In the consecutive sessions, I share some critical insights from the show.
Marriage Advice
Purpose to Make the “I Do” a Done Deal
If you enter a marriage with the slightest thought that when things become sour, you will leave, chances are that the union will not last. Choosing a spouse who is a lifetime partner is imperative, and nothing can separate them from each other. There must be a sober decision to remain committed regardless of life challenges.
The people getting married must be satisfied that they have chosen the right person and will not be lured to leave them for another. Marriages should mimic the idea of Noah’s ark, where the keys were taken away after locking inside. So, there was no way of escaping or letting other people inside.
Get the Skeleton Out Before the Vows
We all have some hidden skeletons in our wardrobes, right? Well, marriage calls for nakedness and oneness from the beginning. For instance, one of Steve Harvey’s guests explained that letting the spouse know about any secrets that could ruin a marriage is vital (Steve Harvey, 2022).
Issues concerning affairs, abortions, medical and genetic conditions, and addictions should be confessed. Let the person choose to marry with the flaws. Notably, if a spouse hides some vital information, there is a chance that it will lead to a separation once discovered due to broken trust.
Communicate, Forgive, and Laugh
The other cure for strong relationships is friendship, demonstrated through effective and respectful communication. For example, the couple can agree that abusive language and raising their voices unnecessarily are forbidden during conversation. It is essential to have a general rule of solving mistakes immediately and ensuring that all the day’s issues are resolved by retiring to bed. Moreover, a good marriage is one where the couple creates time for fun. Moments of appreciating each other and going on frequent dates are essential to maintain passion.
Selfless Love
Marriage is all about forsaking some personal pleasure for the sake of your partner. The kind of love shared between the two should be sacrificial. Each person should desire to look out for the needs of their spouse and find a way to fulfill them if possible. For example, I know of a friend who decided they would only have two kids.
However, the wife realized that her husband desired to have a boy child after the first two girls. The third child was also a girl, and the woman was tired. However, just before the husband went for a hysterectomy, she asked him if they could have another child. Luckily, it turned out to be a male child. They were both happy to have four kids instead of only two. It was a strenuous change of plan, but the wife was selfless because of her husband.
Walk with The Wise
Mentorship, counsel, and accountability with some esteemed community members can help navigate some challenges and milestones in marriage. Moreover, there are times when the intervention of other people is necessary for reconciliation. Therefore, young people can never go wrong by learning from their elders. Notably, even the most successful marriages had their share of struggles. The remarkable fact is that they know from their shortcoming and develop resilience, which they can transfer to other relevant people.
Conclusion
The list goes on, but the mentioned points are the most vital for anyone hoping to grow old with the love of their life. Passion and feeling are suitable for first attraction and establishing the foundation, but cannot sustain marital bliss. People who want to stay married should consciously choose a mate they intend to spend forever with. When the purpose and values are the same, enjoying life as a couple is easier.
References
Steve Harvey real marriage talk – Google search [Video]. (2022). Google. Web.
Vuleta, B. (2022). Divorce rate in America: 35 stunning stats for 2022. Legal Jobs. Web.