Introduction
The paper at hand discusses the problem of family relations aligning the course materials to the selected letter from the “Dear Abby” rubric. The problems brought up in the letter are interconnected with three modules from the course: parenting, divorce, and dating.
Every piece of advice that Abby gives in her response will be examined through the lens of the acquired knowledge. Hence, there is an opportunity to apply the theoretical materials to the practical recommendations provided by the psychologist and test the validity of the latter. The course materials are expected to assist in performing a critical analysis of Abby’s advice.
Background
The letter under analysis is written by a single-parent mother who is concerned about the behavior of her ex-husband. The latter changes girlfriends on a regular basis and introduces them to the sons each time. The woman is worried that his private life affects her children negatively. The psychologist, Abby, criticizes the man’s behavior, pointing out that he sets a negative example. She is convinced that the father should be involved in the sons’ lives and interests rather than involve them in his relationships. This material has been selected for the analysis as it is associated with several course topics at once.
Body
The first point that should be necessarily elucidated in the context of the discussed problem is parenting. A large scope of the course materials was devoted to the role of the father in child-rearing practice. Hence, it is recommended that the father is involved in children’s lives and participates in the important activities such as school performances and conferences. In the meantime, the described situation reveals a contrary situation – the father gets his sons involved in those activities that are important to him, i.e. the dates with his girlfriends. From this perspective, Abby offers a rational advice suggesting that the father should not mix his private life with the time that he is supposed to spend on his children and their interests.
Another aspect associated with parenting is the single-parent family format. As it might be understood from the context, the children are raised by their single mother. The course materials suggest that despite the fact that single mothers receive more governmental help, they tend to receive less emotional support and sympathy from their friends and acquaintances. The analyzed letter shows that the mother is at a loss, and apart from the practical advice, she might search for some comforting that Abby fails to provide. The psychologist focuses specifically on the mother’s question neglecting the opportunity to encourage the woman.
The second point that should be discussed in the context of this problem is divorce. According to the course materials, one of the main objectives that the divorcing parents need to set is the children’s adjustment. The latter is determined by different factors including the lack of hostility between ex-spouses. The analyzed letter shows that the woman is evidently dissatisfied with her ex-husband’s behavior, i.e. with his habit of changing girlfriends and introducing each of them to the children. Meanwhile, it is important to distinguish between the woman’s sincere concern and her personal sense of insult. The latter might provoke her to involve the children in the conflict that is undesirable from the point of their adjustment to the post-divorce environment. Abby’s advice does not cover this aspect, even though it seems to be critical.
Moreover, it should be pointed out that the woman’s letter does not provide any hints at the children’s frustration with the situation. Upon the examination of the woman’s complaints, it might appear that it is she who is stressed about the husband’s behavior most of all. In the meantime, the course materials suggest considering the positive side of the parent’s remarriage. Even though the father is not actually remarried, he has new relationships and welcomes the children to become a part of them. According to the course materials, new family members are likely to have a positive impact – children have one more adult to turn for help. From this perspective, Abby’s analysis of the problem is incomplete – it puts a particular emphasis on the negative side, overlooking potential positive outcomes.
The final problem related to the course materials that might be found in the analyzed letter is dating and intimacy. The children’s father illustrates the pattern of cohabiting to their children, so there is a strong possibility that they are likely to adopt this manner of relationships as the only right variant. In the meantime, the course materials point out that cohabiting reduces the chances of building up strong and healthy family relations. From this standpoint, Abby’s recommendations are reasonable as she concentrates on the negative relationship model that the children’s father provides.
Conclusion
The course materials turned out to be highly helpful for the problem’s analysis. First and foremost, they helped to identify the scope of the problem and the key areas of concern – the poor model of relationships that the father demonstrates, the risk of children’s involvement in the ex-spouses’ conflict, and the post-divorce environment that is negative for the children’s adjustment. Therefore, the course materials helped to find the flaws in the psychologist’s recommendations, i.e. to identify the gaps in her response. The selected problem is complex and interesting from the psychological perspective, while Abby’s response appears incomplete.