The Struggles of Single Parenting Essay

Introduction

Parenting is the central role of family, which is the basic unit of society. Thus, a society is characterized by the quality of parenting achieved at the family level. The stigma surrounding single parenthood is borne out of the contemporary notion that family comprises a father, mother and children (Hanson, 44). Single parent families are thus vilified on the notion that they are deficient.

In some instances, weakened gender-identity and poor self-esteem culminates from the existence of single parenthood. Parenting involves responsibilities and resources, which one individual cannot avail at the desired time and in the required proportion. Despite the significance of parenting to the life of an individual, little or no formal grounding is available for would-be parents on how to best execute the job (Hanson, 45). The concept of single parenthood highlighted is that of a single motherhood. As a result, most families characterized by single parenthood comprise of a single mother (Bornstein, 56). Growing up under the care of single parent has its influence on the personality of an individual.

In spite of the challenges facing single parents, the implicit differences in an individual’s personality cannot be accurately attributed to the type of parenting they receive. However, as postulated by McLanahan & Sandefur p1,

“Children who grow up in a household with only one biological parent are worse off on average than children who grow up in a household with both of their biological parents, regardless of the parents race or educational background, whether the parents were married when the child was born and …of whether the resident parent remarries”p1.

Single parent households face numerous challenges as discussed hereunder. However, these challenges are relative to the situation faced by families headed by both parents.

Financial challenge

The ability of a single parent to avail sufficient financial resources for upbringing of a child is limited. Hanson (p56) posits that poverty limits the ability to look after children in addition to personal needs of the parent. It also has far-reaching adversities such as poor performance at school, youth delinquency and poor self-concept. The associated unavailability of proper housing, insecurity and abuse increase the influence of single-parenthood to development of a child in spite of the fact that wealth is no guarantee of positive outcome in character of the children.

However, resource availability boosts the affordability of some necessary amenities. As outlined by McLanahan & Sandefur (p 10), in 1980, the overall dropout rate was 19%, with 13% of the children residing with both parents. Most single parents experience compounded issues relating to finances. The inability to gain entry into the jobs market is borne out of socio-economic constraints. Most of them are non-literate or semi literate.

The lack of skills and competencies in income-generating activities contribute to their scenario in most cases. Single parents who are financially stable have higher chances of remarrying as well. Thus, most of the single mothers who experience financial constraints sink into a downward spiral into poverty. Single parents are in a dilemma when it comes to dealing with unemployment and scarcity of resources or having time for themselves and parenting their child. As observed, poverty is major contributor to inability to remarry after divorce or getting married in the first place.

Finding Competent Childcare

Gone are the days when a neighbor would assist with household chores without asking for some form of compensation (Walsh, 138). Each individual is involved in income generation and it is common-practice for people seeking services of others to offer competitive pay. At the backdrop of financial constraints, a single parent finds themselves unable to afford childcare according to McLanahan & Sandefur (p 8). Since the single parent has to attend to her work responsibilities, part of the day’s prime hours are spend away from the child. Most workplaces are not considerate of such scenarios and do not have flexibility regarding day care (Hanson, 50)

The World on Your Shoulder

Children require a father figure to which they can relate and adore. A single-parent family presents a scenario where the parents are not living together and takes away the opportunity of the child to experience the nurture of two parents. As a result, there is loss or absence of social capital. McLanahan & Sandefur (p 3) describes social capital as the scenario where a relationship develops out of trust and commitment.

If the absentee parent is alive, the child is bound to feel that the parent who lives apart does not love them enough to afford time and financial resources to support their needs. As articulated by Hanson (p115), uncertainty about the future is bound to breed deviant tendencies and undesirable personal traits. The ability of the child to succeed and grow to a productive adult is severely compromised due to lack of this form of guidance.

The arrival or departure of the father figure is associated with problems, while strong home environments are associated with perceptions of positive behavior (Hanson 50). Thus, support of a fatherly figure is of utmost necessity. As posited by Walsh, “Although single parents are likely to have more stress and a fragmented household, these parents and children can learn how get their needs met within their networks. With support from extended family…useful connection with community members…”p127

Feeling lost and alone

Data reveals that single parents are more likely to sink into depression than their married counterparts are (Walsh, 124). The unavailability of a caring partner to strengthen the single parent against the challenges of parenting is bound to exert immense pressure on the single parent. However, this relies on the level of support from friends, relatives or support groups. The changing roles of the single parent, in addition to the other challenges of parenting are bound to cultivate ground for loneliness. The parent has to divide their resources between their love and that of the child. As a result, decision-making becomes a challenge, since a second opinion may only be available from the child he or she is upbringing.

Introducing Your Child to Those Who You Are Dating

The dating scene presents another challenge to a single parent. Many times, the bond between the prospective partner and the child may fail to develop leading to the child disapproving of them. This occurs since the child feels that the prospective ‘partner’ has come to take the place of the absentee parent. As a result, the child develops barriers to frustrate the individual, culminating into tensions that compromise the success of the relationship (Moore et al, 103). On the other hand, the parent is unsure about the longevity of the relationship from the onset. Incase the child develop a bond with the prospective partner, it is possible that the child will be distraught in case the relationship does not work.

Conclusion

Single parenthood is a major challenge even in the absence of the above stated difficulties. However, the outcome of parenting is not necessarily related to the presence of two parents as observed from both cases of parenting. In spite of the challenges faced by single parents, no evidence is conclusive relating to the adverse impact of one-parent families to the personality of the children in adult life. As a result, parents should strive to avail the best possible care and nurture to their children regardless of their scenario

Works cited

Bornstein, Marc H. “Handbook of Parenting: Being and Becoming a Parent, Volume 3” USA: Routledge, 2002, p 50-60

Hanson, Shirley M. “Single Parent Families: Diversity, Myths, and Realities, Volume 1” New York: Routledge, 1994, p 30-150

McLanahan, Sara and Sandefur, Gary D. “Growing Up With A Single Parent: What Hurts, What Helps” USA: Harvard University Press, 1994, p1-100

Moore, Kristin A et al. “Choice and Circumstance: Racial Differences in Adolescent Sexuality and Fertility”Transaction Publishers, 1989 p100-105

Walsh, Froma. “Normal Family Processes: Growing Diversity and Complexity”, New York: Guilford Press, 2003, p 120-128