Introduction
Authority or the right to influence the actions and opinions of other people plays an important part in many areas of our life, including the relations between a parent and a child. Parents should shape the behavior and attitudes of a child and for this purpose, they need to use both persuasion and compulsion. Yet, the main peculiarity of parental authority is that it must be based on mutual respect, support, understanding, and emotional attachment.
These are the things that make the authority of parents acceptable or legitimate. Their right to power has to be continuously justified. Parents have to demonstrate their exercise of power is aimed at benefiting children, rather than only restricting them. Provided that adults do not cope with this task, it will be difficult for them to retain their authority. Lack of justification can lead to the so-called rebellion of a child, especially during adolescence. This is the key thesis that this essay will illustrate. It will focus on the nature of parent’s authority and the way it evolves with time passing. These are the main questions that should be discussed
Cultural outlay
Overall, my views on parenting and authority have largely been shaped by my own childhood experiences. I come from China, and my parents always stressed such values as respect for the elderly people, duty, and the sense of responsibility for one’s actions. They always set stress on these principled and wanted me to accept them. To a great extent, these values were a part of their cultural overlay. Nevertheless, my parents also believed that the education of a child had to rely on the agreement and mutual understanding.
This is why they tried to use authority very carefully. In particular, they seldom forced me to obey commands without explaining why these commands had to be obeyed. For example, I can mention how they approached smoking. When I reached the age of adolescence, many of my friends began to smoke and my parents were very concerned about this issue. However, they did not simply prohibit me from smoking as many people would have done.
Instead, they tried to explain smoking will prevent me from feeling and looking healthy. Moreover, they showed that it was only a poor alternative to many other activities such as creativity or learning. As a result, I never felt an urge to smoke and was able to resist peer pressure. This example shows that their authority technique involved persuasion, rather than compulsion. Moreover, in such a way, they demonstrated that I could only benefit from accepting their authority. Overall, a part of our family’s culture was the belief that the abuse of authority could be very dangerous to a person. This belief was reflected in the parenting techniques of my mother and father.
The influence of my parents on my parenting technique
Authority is closely related to the choices that people make. Parents always want to influence the decisions that their children take. The main question is how authority figures affect the choices of other people. I can say that my parents tried to act as facilitators who helped me make decisions. They did not impose their opinions on me because such a strategy could only result in resistance or rebellion. For instance, they allowed me to choose the area of study that best fits my interests and abilities.
My parents did not urge me to take a career path only because it was associated with economic prosperity and success. Most importantly, they always asked me whether I wanted to go into a certain profession or not. Such an approach appealed to me because it enabled me to feel independent and helped me understand that independence requires care and responsibility. My parents usually tried to shape my choice by explaining the advantages and disadvantages of different choices.
The example shows that unlike many other authority figures, parents should take into account the interests and views of their children. A parent cannot tell what kind of choices a child has to make. Such an approach does not usually yield good results. Moreover, empirical studies indicate that parents, who try to impose choices on their children, are more likely to lose their authority (Kuhn and Laird 1355). This issue should be taken into consideration by adults.
Overall, judging from my observations and experiences, I may tell that my parents took a rather liberal approach to my education. They used their authority very carefully; in particular, they emphasized the idea that their rules or restrictions were meant to benefit me. This was the main element of their authority strategy. This approach enabled them to achieve better results and reduce my resistance to their rules.
These are the reasons why I practically never felt an urge to rebel against my parents. Admittedly, there were some cases, when I was opposed to their restrictions. This intention was particularly strong during adolescence. For example, I remember a situation when they prohibited me from seeing some of my peers. In my parents’ view, these peers could have an adverse influence on me. In the beginning, I could not accept this decision, but later I understood that peer pressure could be very harmful and that my parents were right.
The parenting technique of my mother and father will affect my parenting. On the one hand, I will certainly avoid permissiveness and overindulgence. People, whose parents indulged them in almost everything, are more likely to face various difficulties during adulthood. It may be difficult for them to accept any limitations or restrictions on their freedom. Very often such individuals are not able or willing to take responsibility for their actions. Moreover, these individuals do not always realize that other people may have other needs or interests. Indulging parents may easily lose their authority.
However, at the same time, I will try to avoid another extreme, namely the use of the authority that makes a child submissive and unable to question the opinions or orders of others. Such control can pose a threat to a child’s mental health, for instance, researchers believe that such control lowers the self-esteem of a child and even lead to an inferiority complex (Kuhn and Laird 1355). My parents were able to avoid these two extremes.
I want my authority to rely on the knowledge, experience, rational argument, and respect. This is why when I will make children do something I will show why such behavior is necessary or beneficial for them. In my opinion, every authority should act in such a way; otherwise, he or she may eventually face opposition. My authority strategy will place more emphasis on persuasion and argumentation, rather than mere commands. Hopefully, this approach will help me better raise my children. To a large extent, my strategies will be similar to those of my parents.
The change of authority
It is quite possible to say that authority changes overtime. This argument is particularly important in the relations between children and parents. In the beginning, parents do not always have to justify the rules and restrictions that they set because a child is not able to view their decisions critically. Yet, as a child grows older, it becomes more and more difficult for parents to use and retain their authority without giving any explanation.
This argument is confirmed by longitudinal studies that show that the perceived authority of adults begins to decline among children whose age ranges between 11 and 14 (Darling, Cumsille and MartĂnez 1103). The thing is that a person, for instance, an adolescent, regards the opinions of his or her parents more critically. Children may not accept every rule or restriction without seeing its rationale.
Thus, caregivers should adopt different strategies when trying to exercise authority. A parent, who tries to impose his or her opinion on the child, is more likely to face resistance and disobedience. In part, such behavior can be explained by teenagers’ to make independent choices.
Therefore, adults should find a way of influencing these choices without being too intrusive. As it has been said before, a parent should show why specific rules or norms are important, and how they can benefit a child. For instance, parents, who force their children to enter a certain profession, will only harm them. Even if this choice is a good one, children may believe that it was imposed on them. This is why they may reject this choice. Caregivers have to remember about such a risk; otherwise, children may misinterpret even their best intentions.
Additionally, parents often find it more difficult to shape the values of their children, as they grow older. Authority figures have to provide examples demonstrating that specific attitudes and values will help a child. For instance, parents can teach personal responsibility and punctuality by behaving responsibly and explaining why such behavior is important. Parents should prompt their children to specific conclusions or decisions, but they need to avoid coercion and compulsion.
Thus, one can argue that adults should use various techniques to retain their authority overtime. Parents should remember that the right to set rules or prohibit something should be legitimized. One can do it only by showing that their authority comes from experience, knowledge, and willingness to help a child. Hence, one can say that parents have to find ways of justifying their authority; otherwise, they will not be able to exercise influence over their children.
Conclusion
Overall, this discussion shows that a person or an organization exercising authority must make sure that a subordinate sees the benefits of accepting the authority. Moreover, authority figures should avoid being too intrusive and controlling because, in this way, they will only increase the resistance of their subordinates. This issue is particularly important for parents who should remember that the legitimacy of their authority can be questioned or even rejected unless they do show the rationale for obeying their rules. Yet, at the same time, they should remember the dangers of permissiveness and over-indulgence.
Their main task is to show that behavioral norms and values can benefit a child. Moreover, as it has been noted before, their authority has to rely on persuasion, reasoning, and willingness to take into account the needs and interests of a child. This is the most optimal strategy for them.
Works Cited
Darling, Nancy, Patricio Cumsille, and M. Loreto MartĂnez. “Individual Differences In Adolescents’ Beliefs About The Legitimacy Of Parental Authority And Their Obligation To Obey: A Longitudinal Investigation.” Child Development 79.4 (2008): 1103-1118. Print.
Kuhn, Emily S., and Robert D. Laird. “Individual Differences In Early Adolescents’ Beliefs In The Legitimacy Of Parental Authority.” Developmental Psychology 47.5 (2011): 1353-1365. Print.