Value My Own and Other People’s Time
The first guideline that I always try to follow no matter what is to be punctual and never make people wait for me. Punctuality is a special characteristic that allows humans to arrive somewhere or complete their tasks at or even before the appointed time. In my opinion, this should be the basic rule for all people, notwithstanding their age, gender, status, and profession, as tardiness is usually a manifestation of disrespect, neglect, and evaluation of someone else’s time. It is equally impolite whether an organization’s leader or ordinary employee is late because they make their colleagues wait or change their plans. Precisely this social skill should be taught from early years so that children are aware of the possible consequences of being late and the benefits of valuing one’s and other person’s time.
In elementary and middle school, I was not a punctual student. From the beginning of each school year, I used to find myself in a vicious circle. Every day I procrastinated after classes, started doing homework late at night, slept through alarms in the morning, was late for school, and wasted my time when I came home again. I realized that it could not continue like this anymore because this adverse habit was depriving me of calmness and free time since while procrastinating, I was also nervous about unfulfilled tasks and could not rest. After that, I completely changed my habits, began to value my own and other people’s time, and now punctuality helps me out every day.
Consequently, there is a vast number of benefits that being punctual can give to a person. First, one will be able to perform more tasks because punctuality also means being organized with one’s duties. Indeed, it is always better to either complete a task and proceed with an extra one or get additional time to rest with peace of mind instead of procrastinating and then rushing. Another benefit of arriving and completing tasks on time is the relation of this social skill to time management. Both of these characteristics are based on valuing time and being able to use it correctly. Next, this principal guideline makes individuals who are always on time extremely respected by others. It is hard to disagree that most people do not like waiting for others, and even though they typically understand and forgive their tardiness, it is less possible that they will prefer to have business relationships with them in the future. Further, one is unlikely to miss an interesting event or important information if they are not tardy, and especially in business, customers and partners prefer those companies whose employees and leaders avoid lateness.
Several years ago, I learned a story that confirmed my perception of punctuality as the basic social skill that promotes success and respect. According to Martyris (2014), Mahatma Gandhi, a famous Indian anti-colonial nationalist and lawyer, was the most punctual person in his country who valued time more than anything else. Among the handful of material things that belonged to Gandhi, the cheap pocket watch was his favorite and precious possession that he consulted many times a day in order not to be late or miss an appointment. He considered any abuse of time, which people were just trustees of, unethical. This perception of tardiness allowed Gandhi to successfully receive visitors’ streams and answer hundreds of letters, and this story proves that time is the most valuable thing that humans are granted.
Be Grateful and Positive
The second component of my personal code of ethics is the necessity to remain positive and grateful no matter what. To be honest, I genuinely believe that if there is a magical tool that can make one’s life better, it is precisely gratitude. The ability to thank the universe or God (depending on one’s religious or other beliefs) is a unique skill that requires time and effort to be developed. Instead of taking good events or any success for granted, I always express my gratitude to people who were involved in or promoted my achievement and also to life itself.
According to Brower (2021), phycologists consistently and strongly associate gratitude with greater happiness and life satisfaction. In fact, this term is a derivative from the Latin word gratia which may be translated as gratefulness, graciousness, and grace, and all these meanings are encompassed by gratitude in some ways. Indeed, a grateful person spreads all these positive feelings, and their inner peace makes them gracious towards other people, too.
As for gratitude itself, it is a thankful way to acknowledge the goodness and appreciate everything intangible and tangible people receive. It may seem that one should thank their God or the universe exclusively for good events, but this is not true. Whenever I face unfavorable circumstances, make a mistake, or have a hard time in my life, I still show gratitude. After all, even an adverse experience is also an experience that is necessary in order to learn to value good, treat people well, and find a way out of difficult situations. I also thank myself and the universe for the mistakes I make because I learn from them and improve my abilities and skills.
Another benefit of being grateful is that one is able to admit that the source of the goods they receive is at least partially belongs to the outside world. For instance, other persons like leaders, teachers, and parents, and those higher powers that this particular individual believes in actually play a significant role in promoting one’s success in any sphere of life. Consequently, this understanding leads to a stronger unity between all humans and their realization of being more significant than just individuals.
My personal experience helps me practice and express positive thinking and a grateful attitude every day. After several months of thankful meditations and thoughts before bed, I noticed a number of great changes that actually make me happier and more satisfied with my life. Presently, I pay less attention to negative experiences because I am grateful to them and perceive them as a lesson and opportunities for personal growth. Gratitude allows me to build strong relationships, deal with adversity, improve my health, relish good experiences, and feel more positive emotions. What is more, I think it is vital to mention that I thank my life not only for what I already have but also for what I got earlier or hope to receive in the future. I genuinely believe that my past and my future make me who I am, and it is vital to be thankful for that. Finally, gratitude should also extend to those objects that one wanted to get but failed. Probably the universe or God knew better and somehow saved this person, so they need to be grateful for that, too.
Be Able to Admit Mistakes and Apologize
Unfortunately, not all people can admit their mistakes and faults. If they could, this world would have been a much greater place with fewer misunderstandings, minor fights, and severe wars. Since everyone makes mistakes and is not perfect, why is it so difficult to admit one’s flaws and apologize for them? Some say that such behavior damages their ego, and it is incredibly unpleasant for them to appear weaker in the eyes of other people. There are also individuals who do not consider themselves guilty in different situations at all but blame others and therefore refuse to admit their mistakes even to themselves. However, I believe that this social skill makes life much easier, allows me to strengthen personal and work relationships, promotes growth and development, and also protects nerves and health.
Whenever I act in the wrong way, I feel an urge to apologize to myself and the people involved, and the fact that I admitted my mistake and did everything I can to make it better calms me down. In fact, I never feel weaker when I say sorry to other people, be they, my parents or strangers because I know that it is the right thing to do. What is more, my past experiences have proved that a timely and respectful apology can work wonders and avoid further conflicts or adverse consequences. Moreover, after admitting a mistake and saying sorry, it is often possible to make relationships with people to a higher level because they begin to respect me more as they see that I am not afraid of appearing weaker in their eyes and am honest with myself.
Self-justification is the opposite way to deal with faults, and I used it when I was younger. However, it is not a healthy and beneficial tool because it often makes people live in a distorted reality where they are perfect and flawless persons who never make mistakes. As a result, they usually get disappointed with others and cannot develop strong relationships due to their inability to apologize. Further, it also leads to a decreased skill to make good decisions and choose what is better in a particular situation. That is why I eventually stopped justifying my mistakes and learned to apologize to people no matter how difficult or unpleasant it may seem. Confidence and courage are those characteristics that always help me to say sorry and own up to my fault, which typically prevents issues from becoming more severe.
Another great benefit of making and admitting a mistake is that any negative experience teaches people some valuable lessons and may provide them with such insights that any other way of learning is not able to give them. That is why it is vital to living the experience of a mistake and apologize with dignity and honor in order to avoid the same failures in the future. This life guideline allows me to be stronger and value myself more because I know that either success or mistake will help me develop and grow. Finally, this approach makes me tolerate other people’s flaws and never judge them for failing.
Always Be Kind
Last but not least, I believe that it is essential to be kind to all humans because we never know exactly other people’s lives and circumstances. Of course, I do not mean that one should not defend their interests or avoid telling others the truth about their mistakes in order not to offend them. On the contrary, these two are also crucial social skills that everyone has to develop. As for unconditional kindness, it is more about being free of biases, treating people nicely, and spreading kindness so that other persons become kinder, too.
To be honest, I decided that this would be my life guideline after meeting a unique phrase in a movie. Then I also learned that it is actually attributed to several historical figures that I have always admired. They are Socrates, Plato, and Ian Maclaren, a nineteenth-century minister of the Free Church of Scotland and author of fiction in the nineteenth century (his real name was John Watson) (Abraham, 2017). They used to tell people to “be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle” (Abraham, 2017, para. 1). After reading this phrase, I decided to follow this rule in all events of my life.
Indeed, humans are rather complicated creatures who have their own problems, joys, concerns, fears, and successes. Living my life, I did not always think about those who surrounded me because I valued and cared about my personal issues and feelings more than the worries or preferences of my friends or complete strangers. Consequently, if someone offended me or seemed rude or simply unattractive, I used to make precipitate conclusions and also act disrespectfully or unpleasantly towards them. However, the phrase mentioned above taught me to raise my awareness of the problems of others.
Truly, I can never know what exactly is happening with a woman who was rude to me in line at a cafe. She may have just experienced a divorce or the loss of her child; maybe five minutes earlier, she had been unfairly criticized by her boss; or she is seriously ill and could not contain her emotions when I, for example, accidentally stepped on her foot. Of course, even such circumstances do not fully justify her behavior, but they at least explain it and provide me with a reason to forgive her and still be kind. That is why it is essential to be nicer even to those people who, at first glance, are unreasonably rude or simply seem ill-mannered. We never know for sure what kind of internal struggle they are waging. Finally, if their battle is so complex that it makes them yell at strangers or loved ones, it is the sudden act of my kindness that can make a big difference in their life and make them a little better.
Further, this rule applies not only to situations in which someone behaves rudely towards a person by yelling or swearing at them but also in entirely opposite cases. For example, relatives or family friends often allow themselves to tell a child not to take another cake because it would be good for this kid to lose weight. They may also ask a married couple when they will finally have children. However, such people do not think that this child can then develop a psychological disorder like anorexia, and a married couple can be diagnosed with infertility, so questions about children are traumatic for them. Such interference in someone else’s life refers not only to the rule of respecting personal boundaries but also to showing kindness.
References
Abraham, C. (2017). Be kind to everyone you meet who is fighting a hard battle. Biznology. Web.
Brower, T. (2021). Gratitude is good: Why it’s important and how to cultivate it. Forbes. Web.
Martyris, N. (2014). The most punctual man in India. Lapham’s Quarterly. Web.