Introduction
I tested myself by adopting different learning styles from years ago. What I understood is that the learning style of each person differs from each other and also it varies according to the situation. Richard E. Snow and Marshall J. Farr mentioned in a book named ‘Conative and affective process analyses’ that “learning styles are usually conceptualized and investigated as variables more closely tied to learning tasks than to underlying personality structures.” (Snow & Farr, 1987, p.60).
I came across different such situations mentioned by the author. Understanding each and everything is more important for learning.
The importance of learning comes into my mind when I was at school. But during that time, I was unfamiliar with different types of strategies to adopt for learning. Teacher always told me to adopt different methods while learning but during that stage I didn’t care about it. But when I was at matriculation level I came to realize the importance of learning styles to get success in life. “An experiential learning cycle is a means of representing sequences in experiential learning.” (Experiential learning cycles, 2009).
In the earlier stage, I tested myself with the learning styles formulated by Kolb and I found that my learning style is diverging as per Kolb’s LSI scoring chart in the (figure- 1). I found that my highest score was in the concrete experience, which reflects shows that I understand more through practical experience than reading. From this I understood that I have to concentrate more on that particular area. I also realized my strength and that is I am very much interested in meeting other people and I am highly imaginative. I have also found that I have a tendency to feel because I am an emotional person. It means that I make decisions based on my own principles. It was also found that I take more time for taking a decision. The learning style is based on the experience and situation of the person. This is very clearly depicted in the Kolb’s learning cycle (figure – 2). “David Kolb and Roger Fry (1975: 35-6) argue that effective learning entails the possession of four different abilities (as indicated on each pole of their model): concrete experience abilities, reflective observation abilities, abstract conceptualization abilities and active experimentation abilities.” (Smith, 1996).
Skills
I have chosen three skills that have highly influenced my life throughout my studies and my work life. It was the period when I realized my strength and weakness in my skills. I never considered it as a weakness, it is the area where I have to improve myself. I was having a strong determination in my mind that I will develop my strength and I will try to concentrate on those areas where improvement is required. This will help me to be more effective in my work life and in the learning process. In this journal I will create a link between my learning style and the skill which I have to develop. I will also use theories so that the weakness and strengths in my personality can be clarified.
Managing conflict
The first time when I applied my conflict managing skill was when I joined my work as an HR manager. I was responsible to handle many problems. Even though it was considered a big problem, this gave me an opportunity to develop my conflict managing skill, which I never recognized before. As an HR manager I had to create a harmonious relationship among the employees and I was the responsible person to handle any conflict that arises within the organizational settings.
I also realized that there are different ways to solve different problems. All the problems that are arising in the college can be solved very easily when compared with the conflict in an organization. “Conflict management is the process of planning to avoid conflict where possible and organizing to resolve conflict where it does happen, as rapidly and smoothly as possible”. (Conflict management, n.d).
Managing conflict is not an easy task. For solving the problem, the first requirement is to analyze the root cause of the problem. Without having a clear understanding of the problem, it is not possible for any person to solve it. The conflict can be managed effectively by using a participative decision-making strategy. This decision-making strategy will bring all the members to the conflict and each party can express their problems and their requisitions. Based on the opinions from the different members, more ideas will be generated and based on these ideas appropriate decisions for solving the conflicts can be derived. Conflicts are general in every organization, but it becomes severe when proper attention is not given by the respective authority. For solving the conflict within the organization, it is better to make both the parties sacrifice something on both sides. The decision taken should be beneficial to both the parties to the conflict. There are some people who use autocratic style to solve the problem, but this type of solving conflict is not possible in the current scenario. Before going for a conflict resolution, we should be able to recognize the demands of the conflicting parties and should also analyze the best way to solve the problem which should not create any further problems in future.
Conflicts arise due to the disagreement between the parties in the organization. In my study life and in my work life I realized that the resolving conflict is not an easy task. Before solving the conflict the root cause for the problem should be identified and remedial measures have to be taken for solving those problems.
“There are five strategies from conflict management theory for managing stressful situations.
- Collaborating: win/win
- Compromising: win some/lose some
- Accommodating: lose/win
- Competing: win/lose
- Avoiding: no winners/no losers.” (Conflict management strategies and styles, 2008).
In the collaboration or win-win strategy, both the parties to the conflict will focus only on wining on their part. Both the parties will not forgive anything for the other party. It consumes more time and also takes advantage of the cost of the other party.
In the compromising strategy, both the parties to the conflict will gain or lose something equally. The parties to the conflict will agree upon a particular decision and based on that decision, the conflict will be resolved. The accommodating strategy followed is “I lose you win’.” (Conflict management strategies and styles, 2008). In the competing strategy, only one party to the conflict will win. It follows “’I win you lose.” (Conflict management strategies and styles, 2008).
In the avoiding strategy there is no gain for both the parties. There are some tips to avoid conflict within an organization. Never hope that the conflict will be resolved without taking any action against it. If we fail to recognize the reason for the conflict, it will lead to serious problems. “An unresolved conflict or interpersonal disagreement festers just under the surface in your work environment”. (Susan, 2009).
All the members of the conflict must be present while taking decisions, so that we will be able to recognize the wrong aspects and the decisions can be taken based on the opinion of all the members. The person responsible for taking decision should be able to identify the right and wrong aspects of the problem and must be able to take a right decision.
The conflict is caused not only by the parties to the conflict but also by external forces. The entire antagonists should be brought together so that everyone can present their own viewpoint. The parties to the discussion should be able to give appropriate suggestions regarding how to solve the conflict. As a responsible person we should be able to provide guidelines for the employees to solve the conflict. There should be true commitment among the employees in solving the conflict. By following all these tips we can solve the conflict to some extent.
Self-awareness
During my past relationship with my families, schoolmates, college mates and with my colleagues I came to understand that self-awareness is very important. “Self-awareness includes recognition of our personality, our strengths and weaknesses, our likes and dislikes.” (Self-awareness, 2003).
My knowledge about self-awareness came into my mind as I grew up. My life taught me the importance of self-awareness one needs to build up. When I was very young, during school time I really fought with my friends while playing. When I went out with my parents I always cried to buy some sort of products from market. I remembered once I sat on the road crying and shouting when my father refused to buy the product that I wanted. All these happened just because I was very small and I was not having awareness. When I grew up, the situation changed. It is during college days and while at work as an employee I came to realize the importance of self-awareness. When I was under pressure during studies and also at work it was my self-awareness that made me move forward under stress and pressure. My self-awareness made me think a lot while taking some proposals to do something.
In my life I faced lots of situations, which went well and not so well because of ups and downs in self-awareness. It is during my college days I came to realize the importance of self-awareness very well. While making presentation, first time I realized the importance of self-awareness. It was a big failure and I could not impress anyone during my first presentation. I was surprised “at the success of other people and wonder” how others have become more successful while presenting. (McMahon, n.d., p.1).
Later I realized that I need to have more self-awareness to become successful. From that day onwards I concentrated on the performance of my classmates while they were making presentations on the stage. Later I watched others’ performances and created awareness in me. From next time onwards everything went well. Same kinds of situations happened in examination also. At first time without having any awareness or having no idea how questions will come for exam I took part in the examination and failed. Next time I prepared myself beforehand by collecting previous question papers and I came out with flying colors. Here also self-awareness reflected in me. “Self-awareness theory proposes that behavioral and cognitive changes following self-focused attention result from a comparison between a salient behavioral or cognitive aspect of the person and a relevant internal standard of correctness.” (Hormuth, 2006).
Lack of self-awareness put me in a hazardous situation when I was studying for matriculation level. During this period everyone needs to submit a project. My friend and I submitted a self-constructed project and we both expected a good grade. But to our disappointment we were scolded by the teacher for using someone else’s project. We were not aware our senior had made that same project. “To add salt to the wound” (Chow, n.d.).
Many of our classmates got good grades. They had made simple projects using placards and various other objects. We got very low grades comparing with others. This thing might not have happened if I looked at what others were doing, without going behind my friend. Lack of self-awareness created the entire problem. To improve the situation or not to happen these kinds of things in future I developed consciousness in me, such as likes and dislikes, wants and don’t wants etc. Also by not following someone else’s instruction and doing something, I made myself think about the pros and cons of all before doing anything.
For future there are various methods to follow in order to create self-awareness. To become successful in life I need to always expand my self-awareness. To do this, I need to be very well aware of the skills I have. By identifying my skills and abilities I can reach stronger position. Also I should be able to know about my interests. Interests can be in any activities, jobs doing, tasks etc. Next important thing is if I decide to apply my skills then I should be aware of which values are important to me. Different values can be autonomy, altruism, collaboration, leadership, risk-taking etc. “Personal qualities and attributes will determine” how I approach work and life. (Developing self awareness, 2009).
Personal quality will determine whether I am a good team player or not. I should be well aware of how friends and colleagues described me. Also there are some questions I must be able to answer to analyze my self-awareness such as whether I can adapt to new environments and people very easily, whether I can work better while in a team or not, whether I am sturdy or dependable, whether I am a person who struggles with setbacks. I always keep answers to these questions in mind, which will create lots of differences in me in future.
Managing relation
Managing relations is one of the important possessions one should need to get success in life. Maintaining a good relationship won’t make any kind of isolated feeling.
In my past experience “interpersonal relationship skills help us to relate in positive ways with our family members and others.” (Interpersonal relationship skills, 2003).
Every time my family members supported me in any kind of situation, it was just because of maintaining good connection with them. Relationships don’t just take place automatically. It will happen only through gaining knowledge, understanding about the people and through experience. From this, it is clear that “only through outstanding communication that the best relationships get developed.” (Managing relationships, n.d.).
Because of maintaining good relationship, even now my schoolmate named Joe has contact with me. It is just because of maintaining pretty good understanding of each other and also lots of help done each other. To strengthen this point, when I got a job in MNC I found atmosphere of the company was not friendly. Everyone was busy with their work. But, on first day during lunchtime I found Joe in the company and I was seeing him after long years. Joe did all sorts of help to me without asking anything to him and just because of him, unfriendly atmosphere of the company became friendly to me.
Managing relations has got two sides. Either it can go well or not so well. I will point out two situations that have happened to me from my company. CEO of the company assigned me to take charge of two clients – one from our country itself and other from west. I could communicate very easily with the clients who came to our company from our country itself. There was no problem in dealing with them. They openly talked about the whole issue about the project that they are handing over to our company for completion and everything ended in very good manner. On other hand, while handling clients from west I experienced a very difficult situation to manage. From the beginning of the talk itself frustration built up. Clients put some restrictions on me and they were not ready to hear our terms and conditions. This situation put me under pressure, because as per company’s guidelines, dealing with clients should always be with smiling faces even if there are misunderstandings. All these put me under stress and all my self-confidence began to deplete away. What kind of analysis I made here is cultural differences have got important role to play in building relations. “A relationship covers a wide variety of concerns, including social skills, communication style, and intellectual compatibility.” (Relationship compatibility, 2009).
Managing relation theory suggests, “It is through behavioral patterns that each person within relationship is capable of manipulating the other and expressing satisfaction or dissatisfaction.” (McCoy, 2000, p.115).
Theory says that it is one’s behavior that plays an important role in managing relations. It is the same thing that happened to me with Joe. We both maintained very good relations from younger stage itself and that put great foundation for our relationship that cannot break. To have a solid foundation in managing relations, it is important to have three important things such as build, explore and establish. Build “a foundation of appreciation and respect.” (Building a healthy relationship from the start, 2009).
Make effort to say thank you even in small opportunities with others rather than pointing out mistakes frequently. Try to explore other people’s interests so that there will be long list of things to enjoy each other. This is what my life explores to me. Take care of each and everybody by understanding them very carefully. Saying sorry or apologizing will help to gain trust of other people. All sorts of things in building a good relation, that is build, explore and establish are familiar to me when I grew up. These three things are very important for people to maintain a good relationship with everyone; it can be among family members, partners, friends, colleagues etc.
To maintain very good relationship with everybody in future, one important thing I need to take care of is to have effective communication. Communication skills can be developed by participating in various communication development courses. A good relationship won’t occur without a good communication or it is very difficult to manage a relationship with a lack of communication. In the future, I will be very much aware of these things to maintain good relations with others. Be aware of everyone and understand their interest and act according to that. Let others know what my interest is. I will focus more on compromise and negotiate on different things that I want from others. Never demand on others to meet all my requirements and expectation. This is not a good thing for establishing a good relationship. Try to see everything “from the other’s point of view.” (Building a healthy relationship from the start, 2009).
This won’t mean I always agree with others all the time, but rather than that I can show respect and understand others’ feelings, views etc. I must always try to be sincere and honest towards others. If any kind of critical situation arises in relationship, there is no need to hesitate to seek professional help very early itself rather than keeping it for last moment. I will try to treat others always in the best possible way.
Reference List
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Chow, E., Excuse me, where is your sense of self awareness?. Goal Setting College. Web.
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McCoy, M.D., 2000. Domestic policy narratives and international relations theory: Chinese ecological agricultures a case study. University Press of America.
McMahon, G. The top ten tips for achieving success. GladeanaMcMahon.com. Web.
Relationship compatibility: the social connection, 2009. Search Your Love. Web.
Self-awareness, 2003. The Way to Happiness.org. Web.
Smith, MK., 1996. David a. kolb on experiential learning. infed. Web.
Snow, RE. & Farr, MJ., 1987. Conative and affective process analysis. Routledge.
Susan, M., 2009. Workplace conflicts resolution: People management tips, managing your human resource. About.com: Human Resource. Web.
Using your head to manage conflict help card, 2008. conflict911.com. Web.
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