Personal Response to “Looking for Alaska” by John Green Coursework

The beginning

The first thing that startled me from the very beginning of the book Looking for Alaska is that there is no number of chapters, but there is a countdown. Now I am reading about the events happening some 110 days before something. It is actually quite exciting, and only this can prevent me from stopping reading this book because I want to know what is going to happen in 100 days. Meanwhile, I meet the main characters: Miles Halter, Colonel, Alaska, and Takumi. Colonel called Miles Pudge, and now everyone calls him like that. Most of all, I like Pudge (I’ll call him as everyone do) and Alaska because they differ from the others. Pudge is occupied with other people’s last words; he remembers a lot of the last words of famous people. But it doesn’t make him an erudite; I’d rather call him an obsessed boy. My statement can be illustrated by the episode when he is in great danger (he almost drowned) he is concerned about his own last words. Pudge is a bit lonely; he seeks for something to happen in his life.

Of course, he has loving parents, who he loves, but he cannot make friends in his school. That is the reason why he is sent to another school, and this attempt actually works. Another interesting character to be considered is Alaska; this girl is very active and cheerful, but at the same time, she is a bit pensive: she speaks about death and life and the labyrinth where each person has to wonder. I am also amazed by her attitude toward books and reading. For she has a lot of books, and she likes reading, but at the moment almost all of her books are unread because she thinks it is more interesting to live crazy life when you are young and read when you are old. Well, quite an interesting point of view, maybe she is right (not, of course, about cigarettes and boys): we should find time for our study, and we should have time to have fun. But I am a bit worried about the girl because she is talking about dying young, this is no good. But, as a matter of fact, all of us sometimes think about the eternal questions, and it doesn’t mean all of us are going to do something horrible. So the main hero makes friends and starts his study at a new school. Now he thinks that something big is going to happen soon.

The second part

From this excerpt, I learned some interesting facts about the main heroes. First, now I know the story about Alaska’s naming. It is quite a surprising story. I mean, I’ve never heard of such a present to a seven-year-old girl to choose a name for herself. And Alaska made an interesting choice. First of all, the place to find a name was a globe, quite unexpected for a little girl. Secondly, she wants to be named by a place that is as far from her native town as possible. And actually, this whole passage made me think about the complexity of Alaska’s character. On the one hand, she is a loyal friend, who tries to find a good girlfriend to Pudge, helps with education, and has a good time; this can characterize her as a kind and thoughtful friend. This point can also be proven by the situation with Eagle and the whole Judgment. But on the other hand, it was her who “ratted” two students because of making some mistakes. She had to make her choice: whether she surrenders some of the students, whether she goes back home, which is impossible for her because, since her childhood, she has been eager to be as far as possible from there. Of course, she chooses the former variant. But still, she never betrayed her friends. She may be rude and even malevolent to people she doesn’t like, but she can be so sweet as well. As for her character, she is a cheerful, funny, and gregarious girl, but now I can see her suffering because of something. And now she explains what labyrinth is for her, that it is not life or death. It is suffering. It is a bit awkward how this cheerful girl can suffer; maybe something in her past makes her feel so bad. Or maybe there is a secret in her life that she will share with us a bit later.

The third part

So Pudge and Alaska became closer because they spent a lot of time together. I think Pudge loves her because he always supports her in her silly things and when she is sad. But Alaska doesn’t want to let him closer because I think she is afraid of spoiling their romantic relationship. Or maybe she is afraid of betraying her boyfriend because there is too much betrayal in her life. Or maybe she needs something pure and innocent in her life because she had too much dirt and sins in her past… Pudge finishes his religious work, and I find his ideas very interesting. They’ve made me think of death, and I agree with him. People really hate to think they will not exist. Even if people are agnostic, it’s still better to believe that there is heaven or even hell, but not non-existence… As for the prank, I think it is quite silly and cruel. But the day after the prank let, Pudge and I understand Alaska better. She tells a really horrible story about her mother’s death. Now it is clear why there is so much suffering in her life and why she once said to Pudge she was spoiling everything. She still accuses herself of her mother’s death, and moreover, her father still blames her. That is why she says there is no home for her. She regards this as one more betrayal, the betrayal of the closest person in the world. But I think she is not guilty. Of course, she could have called 911, but she didn’t. And it happens all the time: people can be shocked and forget everything. Alaska was just a little girl who was scared. To my mind, this situation can be regarded as another example of the negation of death. People are never ready for death. They don’t want to accept the fact that someone is gone and will never be a part of his or her life. As for Alaska, I do think she needs a friend who will help her to overcome this problem.

The fourth part

Colonel, Pudge, and Alaska get very drunk; Pudge and Alaska kiss, and Pudge finally says to Alaska he loves her. But she doesn’t hear that, for she is already asleep. That kissing was fatal, I think. It was the moment when she understood she spoiled everything again. She betrayed her boyfriend. She betrayed the innocence of their friendship. Maybe she even betrayed herself because she decided to stop spoiling everything and failed even in that. And that crucial event came. The chapters now count the days after… the death of Alaska. And now it is Pudge and Colonel’s time to feel guilty and walk in the labyrinth. They really should have stopped her. But what happened happened, and now Pudge witnesses his theory about death. He is now wandering in the labyrinth of his despair and suffering, trying to accept reality without Alaska. He really can’t stand the thought that Alaska does not exist anymore. She is not with him, she is not in heaven, and she is just gone. Even his dreams about her only prove that she disappeared. There is no flesh, no spirit. There may be something of her stuff, her books. And another remarkable idea I met here is Pudge’s thoughts about instant death. There is no one who can tell for sure if there is no pain in such kind of death. The pain can be really unbearable, and the person dies in torture, quite fast but impossible to bear. So maybe at the end of her labyrinth, Alaska suffered the most in her life. But still, she escaped from her labyrinth. She is free.

The ending

It is not clear whether Alaska killed herself or it was really an accident. To my mind, it was suicide. Maybe for Alaska, death wasn’t something horrible, but it was her panacea. And Colonel is right thinking it is suicide: those words in her book. She wanted to die, and she made her choice. Maybe she didn’t plan to do it that very day; she just took her chance to die that moment. But I am not sure it is necessary to investigate this case, as Colonel wants to. Pudge is right, saying that this investigation cannot bring her back, so it is useless. I think the truth can only spoil everything; it can bring out some of Alaska’s secrets which can leave negative memory of her. And now, the memory of Alaska is the only thing that is left in this world. It is so odd these boys lost their best friend, and they can’t stop thinking about her and her death, but still, they have to go on, live, and study. And as for the study, their classes of religion are very remarkable. They are a kind of reflection or background for the events happening there. I am impressed with the story about the woman who wanted to destroy heaven and hell to make people believe and love God “because he is God.” To my mind, this woman will never succeed. And this is very striking and a bit frightening for people who don’t really care about God. They are just afraid of hell and its tortures. Few people hope to obtain the right to be among the angels. But all of them don’t mind the faith itself. They only care about themselves. And they rather believe in hell with its horrors better than accept the fact that people just gone, stop existing.