An arranged marriage refers to a marital union, in which an individual’s spouse is chosen by parents or relatives (Divakaruni 45). The individual has little influence or no deciding power in the choice of a partner to marry. Arranged marriages are common in the Orient. However, in Western countries, individuals usually choose their partners or spouses through the process of dating.
Dating gives individuals the opportunity to interact with different people in order to choose the most appropriate spouse for marriage (Divakaruni 46). In traditional societies, arranged marriages were the hallmark of marital unions between males and females. Parents were responsible for finding appropriate women to marry their sons. In many cases, the choices made were based on social and economic status as well as kinship ties between families.
Today, the rationale behind arranged marriages is that young people are incapable of making wise decisions when choosing partners for marriage because of their immaturity and the lack of life experience (Lamanna and Riedmann 24). Arranged marriages are common in India, Pakistan, and Bangladesh.
I think that arranged marriages promote unhappy families due to the lack of respect, love, and friendship between partners as well as reliance on economic status as a basis for choosing a partner.
Arranged marriages ignore the need for people to date and know each other before they get married. It is during the dating period that two people determine whether they love each other and whether they are compatible (Shetty 35). Arranged marriages ignore the importance of love and compatibility between two people. For that reason, they foster unstable relationships that are often dominated by contempt, disagreements, and conflicts.
Two individuals that get married under this arrangement enter into a relationship without prior knowledge of each other’s strengths and weaknesses. This creates room for conflicts and many sacrifices that undermine the individual role of each partner in the marriage. Secondly, arranged marriages are usually based on the social and economic statuses of both individuals (Shetty 37). Therefore, love is given a second priority in the union.
Such marriages crumble in cases where love fails to blossom between married individuals. In contrast, love marriages allow individuals time to determine whether they are truly in love with those that they choose to marry. A marriage that lacks love and friendship lasts for a short time. I think that arranged marriages are inappropriate because of the constant interference from the families of married partners.
In an arranged marriage, a couple does not enjoy the anonymity that they are supposed to enjoy. The family of the bride will always want assurance that their daughter is happy and fulfilled. On the other hand, the family of the bridegroom will want assurance that their son is happy in the marriage. I think it is wrong for a family to choose a spouse for their son or daughter. A successful marriage is based on love, trust, honesty, and respect.
These traits are likely to be overlooked in an arranged marriage. Finally, arranged marriages deny individuals the freedom to decide when they want to marry. The decision to marry is made by the family and not by the individual who will get married. I think this affects individuals in case they are not ready for marriage. Such marriages cannot bring satisfaction to involved individuals.
Even though research has shown that some arranged marriages result in loving and stable relationships, I think it is important to give individuals the freedom to choose their partners and decide whether they are prepared for marriage. Arranged marriages ignore the personal traits and values that individuals would like their partners to possess.
Works Cited
Divakaruni, Chitra. Arranged Marriage. New York: Transworld, 2011. Print.
Lamanna, Mary, and Riedmann Agnes. Marriages and families: making choices in a Diverse Society. New York: Thomson, 2008. Print.
Shetty, Mahabala. Magic in Arranged Marriage: Is it for the West? New York: Author House, 2011. Print.