Hemingway (1996) once said, “But man is not made for defeat. A man can be destroyed but not defeated” (p. 100). People battling HIV/AIDs have stories filled with fear and hope. While many survivors may share similar experiences, their life journeys may not be the same. As many people who have battled the scourge of HIV may say, hearing someone else’s story can inspire others to keep fighting and even ease the burden of the sickness. Rosa was diagnosed with HIV about seven months ago. After sexual abstinence through her high school years and being in a monogamous relationship in college, she tested positive. That was not where Rosa’s ordeal ended; she was also pregnant. Rosa took a deep breath and said, “I found out I was sick during my initial Obgyn appointment. When the doctor told me I was sick, my world stopped; I could not breathe. I was petrified for both my life and my unborn child.” In so many ways, HIV survivors like Rosa are not weighed down by adversities because they are destined to bounce back and become instruments of change.
Rosa’s experience made her volunteer a few hours each week to help orphans who never got adopted navigate life as they deal with the burden of HIV. Because of how lonely and confused Rosa felt when she received the news, she now ensures that orphans diagnosed with HIV at the XYZ community center do not feel abandoned while awaiting adoption. Rosa meets me in a bright room full of balloons and toys. Typically, social workers and other professionals at the facility engage with their young clients here. But today, Rosa is waiting for a five-year-old girl called Pendo. Her mother passed away when she was just a year old. Rosa is assisting Pendo’s new adoptive parents with paperwork to get her custody.
I got some time to chat with Rosa while waiting for the family to arrive. “If I did not get pregnant when I did and found out I was positive, I would have died by now. Although my baby never made it, she saved my life, and I am so grateful for that.” This awful experience influenced Rosa to make it her life mission to put a smile on the face of other children who survived. “Here I am their surrogate aunt; I teach them how to take pills, and sometimes I buy birthday gifts and attend their graduations.”
Rosa believes that little acts of kindness help keep children hopeful. “I serve these children because they have no one to care for them. Here, they are loved and provided with basic needs, such as food, clothes, medicine, and other utilities.” This is what Rosa’s typical day looks like at the center. She dedicates her time to coming to play with the children, feeding them, and showing them that people care and want to help. A friendly couple entered the room as we talked, followed by a grinning young girl. It was Pendo and her new adoptive parents, Jane and Sam. “My name is Pendo. I am five,” says the lassie, as she demonstrates her age with her fingers. This child got HIV from her mum but got diagnosed when she was three years old. She was near death when she was brought to the center. It took the intervention of a multidisciplinary team effort to save her.
After finalizing the paperwork with the child’s new adoptive family, Rosa’s face was brimming with hope. What she does to these children is inspirational to watch because not all of them are total orphans; some have surviving relatives who have abandoned them. This is one reason Rosa is motivated to find homes for children who never got adopted. When Pendo’s parents finished signing the required documents, it was time for the child to take her Quadrimune; a strawberry-flavored HIV medication, which resembles ounces of sugar that Rosa mixed with baby cereal. “Do you promise to continue taking your milk and cereal to become better and strong?” The child emphatically nodded and grinned while asking for more regimens. Rose later helped the child pack her belongings and shared hugs and kisses before releasing her to the care of her new family.
Around 2 PM, Rosa was ready for her next appointment. Rosa nipped out of the room and walked hastily down the hallway into the counselor’s office. Despite putting a smile on children’s faces, not every day is the same. Although the little kids are unaware of their HIV status, a challenge that Rosa usually faces is disclosing the HIV status to teenagers above 10 years who inquire why they are always on medication. When the time to tell the kids comes as they reach puberty, Rosa often plans how to do it for weeks, questioning whether they are ready to know and debating how they will handle it. Her next client, Dan, a 10-year-old, did not expect that on that cold afternoon, more than six years after his diagnosis, the conversation that awaited him in the counselor’s office.
Before Rosa walked into the room, she took a deep breath because she knew what was at stake. She always ensures that supportive communication is at the center of her engagement with the children and shows acceptance and respect to improve her relationship with them. Because people with HIV often face vicious marginalization and stigmatization, Rosa delivered the bad news without being judgmental. “Do not be afraid; I understand what you are going through.” She used her experience to build trust and helped Dan manage his fears. The boy began showing defiance after realizing there was a difference between him and his HIV-negative peers. It is a moment like this that Rosa often calls for crisis intervention counseling to help stabilize the situation. She held his hands and said, “These drugs destroy germs and make you strong and healthy.” Rosa amiably explained to him how crucial the medications are to his health after repeatedly refusing to take them.
It is hard to imagine what it feels like to tell children that they have HIV. It is a devastating ordeal that no child should experience. When her clients sometimes hear the news, they feel numb and panic-stricken. Rosa usually finds it impossible to leave their side in revelation moments like these, so she often stays as long as she can, consoles them, and checks on them regularly. “We often watch animation together, visit malls or play with other kids just to help them adjust.” In such situations, social workers like Rosa are what the children can rely on because they have nobody else. She listens and allows them to talk about their feelings and life experiences. Getting a child to take antiretroviral drugs every day is a massive challenge, but Rosa is always present to share those painful moments with them. Individuals may be amazed by how her dedication and input directly influence these children’s lives. This job is not ‘nice to have,’ but it is desperately needed by many children with no families to be dependent on.
Reference
Hemingway, E. (1996). The old man and the sea. World Heritage Publishers.