The problems of the modern household are distinct from those of the family of the past. The relevance of study in the field of family problems is due to the general crisis of the family, which is noted by educators, psychologists, sociologists, and demographers. This crisis is quite widespread, manifested in quantitative indicators, such as a decrease in the birth rate of children and a significant number of divorces. At the same time, family problems are measured in qualitative indicators, that is, the transformation of social and family values, the weakening of the educational function of the family, and the psychological problems of family members. It is evident that under such conditions, thorough research of modern families and finding resources for dealing with negative phenomena are essential.
In the modern world, when people have many responsibilities, couples can have a variety of interpersonal conflicts, quarrels, and resentments. They may involve problems of a sexual nature, issues of children and parents, and relationships with the older generation. In fact, it all depends on the way in which these same issues are resolved. At the same time, it is the methods of solving problems, not their content, that primarily affects character formation and personal relationships in the household. In some situations, it is possible to deal without outside help, but in many cases, when the relationship is deadlocked, professional help is needed. Qualified assistance is the best way to establish a standard atmosphere and save the marriage. Narrative practice is the quest to find a respectful, non-accusatory approach to counseling and community work, where people are seen as experts in their own lives and problems are separated from people. Thus, it is essential to consider a particular couple’s issues and develop a treatment plan for them.
The Сlinical Case Description
It is essential to emphasize that each couple experiences problems in the process of living together, but they arise at different stages. Anna, a 45-year-old woman who attended counseling with David, who is 50 years old, describes how lately there has been a lot of conflict in their marriage relationship. The husband specifies the fact that it is the wife who yells and does not pay enough attention. It should be mentioned that the couple has two children who attend high school and require parental attention. That is, they need to be granted time for normal psychological development and help with their educational needs in school. As a rule, these functions are executed by a woman who worries about the house’s cleanliness and taking care of the kids. In addition, Anna works as a nurse in a hospital and is exhausted at work, especially after long night shifts. The wife feels burnout, and it appears that the people do not understand it. However, Anna is not asking for help and is not trying to explain to a man that needs support.
At the same time, David works in the IT sector, which often enables David to be at home. The male has a stable and high income, which this man spends primarily on personal hobbies. David plays golf and spends all available time practicing or reading literature. It is vital to mention that David used to support the wife with household chores and raising the children. However, when they became older, David decided that the man deserved to spend all available time on self-development and hobbies. Accordingly, the kids with any problems address only Anna, and only the woman does the housework. Consequently, Anna is dissatisfied with family life because it has not satisfied many expectations. Therefore, the woman has a negative mood and is constantly annoyed, especially in the presence of a man.
In this couple, conflicts emerge because they do not talk about problems. The female accuses the man of being lazy and not fulfilling parental responsibilities enough. David, in turn, does not understand such an attitude and claims. This is because the male receives a high salary and can, in addition to spending on hobbies, also provide the necessary material goods for the household. Conflicts in the couple arose already at the stage when they lived together for a long time and shared a common household. The woman’s initial desire to accept more responsibility for the home, kids, and work led to the man gradually abandoning shared family responsibilities. In this way, the couple’s problems arose at the stage of married life.
The primary challenges for the couple relate to the fact that there are conflicts in which the woman inconsistently expresses emotions. Meanwhile, the male does not understand the reason for this attitude and defends personal boundaries. As a rule, quarrels occur due to the fact that Anna describes the man as lazy and inexperienced and does not explain the causes of it. On the other hand, David views such conduct by the wife as unreasonable and does not attempt to resolve the conflict. This causes more confrontations and the spouses to consider divorce. In order to avoid such a radical remedy, it is crucial, though, to investigate the causes of the conflict and discuss it with a professional.
The Stages of Therapeutic Intervention
In the course of therapy, the couple builds relationships within the family by transitioning from using unhealthy strategies to adopting positive ones. The concept of the therapeutic cycle describes the stages of the therapeutic process. It is significant to note that clients do not progress through all of these stages without difficulty. The first step of therapy is necessary to connect with clients. This can be achieved by communicating with them and gathering information to understand the problem’s causes better. At this same time, in the first stage, it is essential to follow the client’s body language and listen to the intonation of the voice. This will assist in forming a specific customer history, which will make it possible to assess the truthfulness of their words. This initial background story reveals the developmental stage of the diagnosis and intervention approach.
Meanwhile, it is essential to discuss with the couple the events that occurred in the past and influenced the emergence of the conflict. In this case, it is useful to analyze the moment the husband stopped supporting the wife with housework and taking care of the kids. Moreover, clients and professionals need to have common goals to establish an effective therapeutic alliance. Accordingly, the man and woman should once again note the problems that are disturbing them. They should attempt, together with the therapist, to identify the original incomplete situation or stage of development that contributed to their occurrence.
In order to facilitate clients’ return to organic self-regulation, the therapist must identify the behaviors or neurotic processes exhibited by clients in meetings and determine an effective intervention. In other words, in the diagnostic process, in order to continue an effective therapeutic alliance, the professional needs to assess changes that have already taken place and recommend new ones. It should not be neglected that the psychologist, throughout all stages, needs to remember the importance of the therapeutic relationship as a viable tool for intervention. They should demonstrate trust, unconditional positive acceptance, and respect. In this way, it will facilitate an effective therapeutic alliance, and the couple will quickly find the cause of the conflict and advance to the remedial stage.
The woman, when establishing a therapeutic alliance, should clearly communicate the reasons for the conflict with the man. In other words, the wife has to indicate that the yelling or avoidance of the man is a reaction to specific conduct. The man needs to justify why there was a behavior change during the marriage. The primary function of the therapist is to listen to both parties and offer them the development of a therapeutic process. Consequently, the couple will understand that their common and separate interests are considered and that the therapist has received a clear and coordinated goal.
It is important to note that highlighting the problem is the first point of choice in the therapeutic process or work. The psychologist needs to determine whether there is a crisis that requires immediate attention and quick solutions or whether it is an issue that requires an in-depth intervention. Accordingly, interview the couple together and then each of them separately. Once the couple has indicated that they are contemplating divorce, the therapist’s role will be to provide a supportive, safe environment in which clients can make informed decisions. Thus, based on the critical assessment obtained after the interview, alternative behaviors or solutions should be composed and offered to clients. This is a process of a shortened therapeutic cycle; however, it involves urgent attention to critical issues that require some resolution.
Another crucial aspect is the questions to ask in the interview, which should be different for a man and a woman. Accordingly, based on the description of the difficulty and the couple’s explanation, the specialist should ask the female about family life at the beginning of the marriage and before the birth of children. It is also essential to clarify whether the wife criticized the husband for improper parenting techniques or inadequate housekeeping. It is also crucial for the psychologist to ascertain when Anna chooses to shout and the silence to demonstrate dissatisfaction with family life. At the same time, a separate list of questions should be prepared for the interview with David. For instance, include a question about the importance of hobbies to the husband, the basis of reactions to the wife’s yelling, and the quality of communication with the kids. The joint interview should discuss the reasons and consequences of David’s decision not to support Anna.
The next stage of the therapy process is the initiation of an experiment based on a specific characteristic. Accordingly, the psychologist should create an experiment based on vital data received from the clients. During this process, it is essential to use the characteristic of gender and to suggest that the couple exchange roles. Hence, during the experiment, the woman will attempt to experience the emotions and understand the withdrawal of the man and the opposite. In the deepening stage of the experience, participants can discover the reasons for their own and their partner’s conduct. It is the gender factor that will assist in this. This is because the deepest concerns of the couple are grounded in the allocation of gender roles that do not satisfy the woman.
David and Anna’s different understanding of gender roles and responsibilities is a primary cause of conflict. The woman does not want to perform all the housework and educate the children independently, and the man does not understand why it is complicated. Thus, this factor will allow the couple to understand each other’s thinking better. It is significant to note that the last stage is the exploration of alternative patterns of behavior. Once customers have identified and uncovered the reasons for their behavior, the therapist supports incorporating this into the client’s life. This process proceeds through the exploration of alternative behaviors. It is significant to mention that it is possible to mention the natural conclusion of psychotherapy when both parties of psychotherapeutic contact agree on the importance of its completion.
General Characteristics of Narrative Therapy by David Epston and Michael White
It is important to note that great changes are occurring in the field of psychology and psychiatry. It is due to a new direction that emerged quite recently, at the turn of the 70-the 80s of the twentieth century. The narrative practice began with the joint passionate work of Australian psychologist Michael White and New Zealander David Epston. The approach is based on a story through which people make sense of life experiences. The narrative practice understands history as a sequence of events in time, connected by a single theme and plot. Every action in people’s lives is composed of a specific sequence. In all arrangements, there is a theme that relates to people. When patients visit, narrative practitioners tend to share some problematic stories. On the one hand, the specialist listens to the person’s narrative but, on the other hand, attempts to find something in the person that does not correspond to this disturbing story at all, which is positive. At this hopeful moment, the narrative practitioner begins to develop and elaborate on a new story.
Narrative practitioners consider that problems are not intrinsic qualities of the person. This is the most crucial distinction between this approach and others accepted in counseling and psychotherapy. There it is assumed that people have specific personality characteristics that predetermine them. For instance, people perceive themselves as lazy, disorganized, and living some kind of meaningless life. Narrative practitioners suggest that this is not a good idea.
When a person is suggested to work with the fact that they are lazy, they have to start looking inside themselves. It is not comfortable to fight with oneself; it requires one to admit to being bad. The narrative approach proposes an alternative way of dealing with the issue. It is referred to as externalization, a form of perceiving people separately from their problems. Narrative practice enables the interlocutor to feel that everything is normal and that they are fine, meaning that the problem exists separately. Accordingly, a narrative practitioner is a person who does not tell stories but listens to them and poses questions.
Therefore, narrative therapy is a form of psychotherapy that focuses on separating the individual from the problems, allowing the person to externalize rather than internalize them. The approach also aims to help identify the values, abilities, and knowledge that people should live with. It focuses on not connecting the difficulties people face or the mistakes they make with the person. The concept of identity is essential in narrative therapy. It focuses on not connecting the challenges people face or the mistakes they make with the personality of the individual.
The Treatment Plan
Short-term Goals
It is essential to state that the development of a treatment plan for narrative therapy is an intensive activity that should conform to the accepted standards of the model. In the short term, the primary aims for David and Anna are to highlight the main problem provoking the confrontation. It is also important to objectively assess the consequences of the conflict and their impact on the relationship in the family. At the same time, the next aim is to build effective communication abilities. Another short-term goal is to reduce the number of quarrels that occur when children are present. The next significant point is to attempt to appreciate the work of the partners. Another short-term objective can include sharing household chores between married couples. Equally vital is to discuss everyday situations that may have triggered the conflict. These goals will allow the couple to form habits that will help resolve challenging issues quickly.
Long-Term Objectives
Once David and Anna have fulfilled the short-term goals, they should evaluate whether or not they wish to continue to rebuild the relationship. If accomplishing them required significant effort and was not enjoyable, they should discuss the possibility of ending the relationship. Thus, long-term goals should include making a plan to accomplish family responsibilities and adhering to them. David should also spend time with the children in order for Anna to have free time. At the same time, they are conducting weekly discussions about the couple’s relationship. This will tend to bring David and Anna closer together and prevent conflicts from escalating. Indeed, the main long-term objective is to maintain a strong and happy family. Accordingly, husband and wife should encourage and help each other in all endeavors.
Specific Interventions
The psychologist should use a series of techniques throughout the process of narrative therapy designed to assist patients in uncovering their inner story and gradually changing it. In the specific case of Annie and David, there are several techniques that will produce the most meaningful results. A confrontation technique should be applied throughout therapy. When an irrational idea appears, the therapist returns it to the person to make the person realize it is not valid. For example, when a man justifies not helping the wife by the fact that the children are adults. Then it is essential to reiterate the issue and lead David to believe that adult children also require attention and care.
The same applies to Anna in reasoning that a man would rather complain about yelling or being ignored than talk about it. It needs a woman to understand that an adequately constructed conversation will resolve the problem on its own merits. However, yelling or the shouting method will only create additional confrontation, which will be more challenging to resolve in the future. Such an intervention will allow the couple to learn to analyze their thoughts and actions, eventually leading to cooperative behavior.
It should be emphasized that the subsequent intervention is active listening. The therapist will permit patients to reflect aloud and talk about their problems. It is crucial to guide and help them not to deviate from the topic. In this way, it will be possible to highlight the specific problem provoking the conflicts. For example, Anna will be able to identify the fundamental reasons for the aggression that the woman broadcasts to the man. In contrast to the usual conversation, the specialist must maintain the principal theme in this method. That is, the psychologist ensures that the woman does not shift to personal grievances but speaks to the substance.
In this way, it is possible to determine clear reasons for the conflict and build an effective dialogue with David. Another essential tactic is the application of documents. In order to demonstrate the couple’s progress and motivate them to resolve the conflict further, the specialist should maintain written records. Once David and Anna feel an improvement in their relationship, the specialist can demonstrate a series of documents to them. It will reveal the discoveries they make in their story.
Сonclusion
Thus, the well-being and stability of marriage depend on many factors, but it is not always possible for spouses to resolve conflicts on their own. Narrative practice is the endeavor to find a respectful, non-accusatory approach to counseling and work with communities where people are considered experts in their own lives. In this model, problems need to be separated from individuals. The importance of this model is that in narrative therapy, the therapist identifies those systems of representation of reality that negatively affect people’s lives and maintain problematic histories of identity or relationships. The relation of friction to a particular discourse helps the psychologist distinguish individuals from the feelings of tension they are experiencing.
Therefore, David and Anna had a problem concerning gender roles. The woman did the housework alone, took care of the children, and also worked as a nurse. Certainly, the man received a decent salary and was able to provide for the family, but as the children became older, David stopped participating in family life. Accordingly, the problem arose because Anna was angry with David and used yelling and ignoring to vent irritation. The man did not understand what the problem was and continued to engage in hobbies rather than family. After they participated in narrative therapy and set short-term and long-term goals, they were successful in repairing the relationship. The use of narrative therapy allowed the couples to preserve the family.
References
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