“When a Man Loves a Woman” by Leslie Mandoki Essay (Movie Review)

Alcoholism is an extremely widespread disease: in the U.S., every day, six people die because of alcohol abuse (Alcohol.org, 2020). Unlike some prejudice, this problem concerns not only men but also women and even children. The movie When a Man Loves a Woman directed by Leslie Mandoki covers the issue of female addiction to alcohol. The film demonstrates the struggle of the main character and her family against the disease. When a Man Loves a Woman gives its audience an understanding of how alcoholism functions and affects the family of the ones addicted. Moreover, it shows the way relatives may influence the progress of the one fighting against the addiction. On many occasions, the main character’s husband and daughters hampered addiction while contributing to efficient recovery. Some different techniques and interventions can be applied in such cases by the family, which was demonstrated in the film.

To begin with, when the movie went on the screens, the topic of alcohol addiction was not new for the American audience. In fact, it dominated seemingly everything from daytime shows like Oprah (Eva, 2016) to the best-selling literature like Under the Influence by James Milam and Katherine Ketcham (1984). The popularity of the topic in the 1990s can be explained by the fact that alcohol consumption significantly increased in the previous decade in comparison to the overall XX century situation in the States (Statista, 2019). However, as the New York Times review of When a Man Loves a Woman (Maslin, 1994) points out, the aspect of family life and struggle in the context of alcohol addiction was rarely addressed. This is what makes the movie unique: while it does not uncover the unknown facts about alcoholism itself, it focuses on the closest social relations an addict has.

Speaking of the diagnosis of the main character, the film narrative itself articulates it. In the final scene, at the assembly of Alcoholics Anonymous, Alice says that she is an alcoholic. According to the episode in the clinic, the audience understands that she has not only a psychological addiction but also a physical one: when entering her room, the nurse sees Alice shaking and sweating (Mandoki, 1994; Rockville, 2016). Moreover, before the rehabilitation, the character gives up some critical social activities, which is another Diagnostical and Statistical Manual for mental disorders IV criteria (Rockville, 2016). She once does not come home to replace the sitter while her husband is supposed to be on a flight (Mandoki, 1994). Despite admitting the problem, which the audience learns with her promise to drink less made in Mexico, the substance consumption continues (Mandoki, 1994). Overall, it is evident that Alice suffers from alcoholism.

As for the various family roles presented in the film, the central figure is played by the partner, Alice’s husband, Michael. He is a pilot, and that is the reason he, for a long time, was ignorant about the intensity of his wife’s habitual drinking. The audience understands that their relationship has always somehow been related to alcohol consumption. Michael is also the first to demonstrate his concern: “I know we have pressures, and we need to have fun, but wringing you out at the end of an evening is less fun than it used to be” (Mandoki, 1994). The character represents the family of an addict: he supports her rehabilitation, goes through his own emotional struggle, and sometimes fail to explain the situation to himself (Mandoki, 1994). This makes Michael the central figure in Alice’s life. Hence, the narrative is built not only around her addiction but also around their love story, which the audience learns from the title: When a Man Loves a Woman.Furthermore, two children play slightly different roles both in their mother’s life and the narrative itself. The younger daughter does not intervene much. She is an infant that represents the purest in life, which radically contrasts the addiction. The latter is seen with her lack of understanding of the events taking place around: “What is alcohol?” (Mandoki, 1994). Meanwhile, the elder daughter is a more complicated character: she poses the questions the adults are sometimes too afraid to ask themselves. When Alice slaps her in the face, it was the turning point that convinced the main character that she had a problem. In a word, the narrative is built around a family of four, while the girls appear to be both observers and participants.

However, there are also several secondary characters in When a Man Loves a Woman. On the one hand, the Chinese sitter does contribute to the plot. For instance, she reacts to drunk Alice’s appearance, when she did not come back home in time (Mandoki, 1994). Moreover, the sitter indicates the crisis occurring at home while Alice participates in the rehabilitation program (Mandoki, 1994). On the other hand, one may not forget about the parents of the couple who show up in the story several times. The audience meets the parents for the first time when Alice and Michael decide to leave for a vacation to Mexico and ask them to sit with the kids (Mandoki, 1994). Finally, they almost appear at the point of the plot when the sitter quits, and Michael seeks the opportunity to leave his daughters with somebody (Mandoki, 1994). Therefore, secondary figures influence the narrative, but they do not define the plot.

Furthermore, the film shows all the stages of change typical of alcoholism. Precontemplation in Alice’s behavior is seen in the first part of the movie: for instance, the character and her partner are having fun throwing eggs together, while he is the only one sober (Mandoki, 1994). Moving on, contemplation is reached in Mexico, which is understood with the promise to drink less. Nevertheless, Alice does not change her behavior and does not choose a strategy to overcome the issue – neither does Michael (Mandoki, 1994). However, when he initiates her rehabilitation, and she agrees to it, one may conceptualize it as preparation. The action is the most challenging time for each of them and them as a couple: Alice goes through the physical and psychological problems of rehabilitation (Mandoki, 1994). Meanwhile, Michael cannot handle housekeeping and work at the same time (Mandoki, 1994). Finally, maintenance is shown with the assemblies that both characters attend separately. Hence, all the stages of change are presented in the film.

Speaking of the episodes where family demonstrates resiliency, one may first analyze the scene mentioned above when the main characters throw eggs in a neighbor’s car. It was the characters’ anniversary night, and after going out, Alice end up quite drunk (Mandoki, 1994). Back home, she becomes inadequately angry with the fact of a car’s signalization ringing (Mandoki, 1994). Despite trying to convince her not to do that, Michael joins her cheerfully. Moreover, there is no discussion of that night afterward. Another example to mention is the episode after the rehabilitation when Michael tries to distance Alice from any possible triggers. Hence, when the girls fight, his phrase is: “Whatever this is, you don’t need to bother mommy” (Mandoki, 1994). Nevertheless, Alice does not appreciate the set of family rules that are supposed to protect her from anything, as if she is “made of glass,” as she says it herself (Hepworth et al., 1997; Mandoki, 1994). Therefore, the family’s resiliency happens to be destructive in Alice’s addiction and recovery.

Meanwhile, the family members, being typically involved in the process (White & Savage, 2005), do both: they assist and hamper her fight against the addiction. On the one hand, the family is primarily the motivator that pushes the character towards rehabilitation: first, the incident with slapping the daughter, then – the conversations with Michael. What is also important is their visit to the clinic in order to support her progress and remind her of her initial goal – having a healthy family. The way they prepare for the meeting – the father even learns how to do his girls’ hair – uncovers their best intentions. On the other hand, it is common for such families to put a traumatizing effect on the one addicted, because they, as groups, experience pain, and disorientation (Dayton, 2012). It can be seen in the examples from the movie. For instance, when after the rehabilitation program, Michael reacts hysterically to Alice’s meetings with her friend from the center (Mandoki, 1994). Hence, it would be fair to claim that family influences the addicted individual in positive and negative ways at the same time.

As for the techniques applied by the family in order to motivate Alice to fight her condition, there is plenty of them. First, when Alice gets drunk on the boat with Michael and almost harms herself, her husband tells her that she scared him and asks whether she frightened herself. In response, Alice promises to stop drinking as much. Secondly, when the character comes back home drunk and yells at her elder daughter, the latter poses the question: “Mommy, are you sick” (Mandoki, 1994)? Thirdly, in this context, one may speak of the rehabilitation program joining, which is initiated by Michael. Moreover, the family comes to the center to support Alice and to remind her of the reason she goes through the challenge of rehabilitation (Mandoki, 1994). Finally, another instance may be found in the episode when Michael and his elder daughter take away the bottles left in the apartment and crash them. It seems to be more of a symbolic act intended to help themselves to cope with the situation morally. Overall, there are many instances of how the family makes an effort to assist Alice in her fight against alcoholism.

Finally, speaking of the interventions that could be employed in intervening with the family discussed, three groups of the latter can be defined (Copello et al., 2004, p. 3). To begin with, there are the interventions that work with the family members to engage the addicted individual into the treatment program. It eventually happened in the movie; however, one may wonder if timely help could prevent more damage. Moving on, the “joint involvement of family members and substance misusing relatives in the treatment of the latter” could also be useful in this case (Copello et al., 2004). Finally, there is a group responding to the personal needs of the family member. Most importantly, what the couple from When a Man Loves a Woman lacked was joint therapy that would help them to avoid separating. Moreover, first aid could be given to the children so that they could reflect on the occurring events.

To conclude, alcoholism has, for a long time, been an urgent issue of American society. However, what aspect of the problem is sometimes left out is the role of family, its influence, and the influence on it. The movie When a Man Loves a Woman becomes an excellent illustration of this widespread situation. The main character, Alice, goes through all the steps of change from denial to maintenance. As for her family – primarily her husband, Michael, and her two daughters, but also her parents and the sitter, in a way – it also experiences specific struggle. The family members sometimes contribute to Alice’s addiction and sometimes help her to fight against it, which, as proved above, is a typical scenario for the ones living with an addicted individual. Nevertheless, Michael appears to be an extremely devoted partner who helps Alice on multiple occasions related to her problem, though interventions could be more serious. The movie proves the power of family in case of addiction. Moreover, it demonstrates that professional help is also vital in such circumstances: Alice would not overcome the problem with the rehabilitation, therapy, and the alcoholics meetings.

References

Alcohol.org. (2020). Alcoholism statistics & alcohol abuse demographics. Web.

Copello, A., Velleman, R., & Templeton, L. (2004). Family interventions in treatment of alcohol and drug problems. Drug and Alcohol Review, 24(4), 369 – 385.

Dayton, T. (2012). The set up: Living with addiction. Sage Publications.

Eva. (2016). Drew Barrymore & her mom Jaid Oprah interview. YouTube.

Hepworth, D., Rooney, R., & Larson, J. (1997). Assessing family functioning in diverse family and cultural context. In Direct social work practice (pp. 276 – 316). Brooks-Cole.

Ketcham, K., & Milam, J. (1984). Under the influence: A guide to the myths and reality of alcoholism. Market Paperback.

Mandoki, L. (1994). When a man loves a woman [Film]. Touchstone Pictures.

Maslin, J. (1994). Review/film: When a man lives a woman; A woman under the influence. The New York Times. Web.

Rockville. (2016). Impact of the DSM-IV to DSM-5 changes on the national survey on drug use and health. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (US). NCBI. Web.

Statista. (2019). Alcohol consumption per capita from all beverages in the U.S. from 1850 to 2018. Statista. Web.

White, W., & Savage, B. (2005). All in the family: Alcohol and other problems, recovery and advocacy. Alcoholism Treatment Quarterly, 23(4), 3 – 37.