Alone Together: Social Network for People Essay

Introduction

Human beings are exceptionally complex creatures, with varieties of feelings, senses, mental abilities, physical features, and mindsets. Throughout centuries, humanity has sought to facilitate working, learning, and communicating processes that help them evolve and live decently. The Internet has become the greatest invention of the 20th century. Earlier, this technology was believed to share information and connect humans. Now, it offers an opportunity to network, avoid a feeling of loneliness, and share moments and thoughts. The intention, however, sometimes might be different from the result. At the moment, social media constitutes a highly controversial means in terms of a real connecting of people and breaking the barriers of prejudices. Social media, currently, has the capacity to facilitate networking, if used properly, as well as, if overused, to develop a negative mental state, and decrease one’s communicative abilities.

Greatest Helper or Insidious Threat

The Researcher’s Opinion on the Issue

The researchers state that the connection between people social media provides them with is phantom. The book Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other, by Sherry Turkle, Professor of the Social Studies of Science and Technology, exemplifies the statement. She believes that human beings seek intimacy, but are extremely afraid of showing vulnerability, so they turn to social communication for secure interaction (Turkle, p. 56). The author of the current research believes that this happens due to the satisfaction of the basic human psychological needs on behalf of social media. These needs are supposed to be satisfied by the communication in real life with the significant Other. Instead, they are satisfied through online communication on diverse platforms.

The author believes, as well, if the basic human psychological needs are addressed by social media, the real efforts to learn how human interaction works, or how to manage emotions or stress, may decrease significantly. To form bonds and maintain relationships, one should involve in real in-person interaction, regardless of how stressful and painful it might be. One is solely able to feel deeply understood, protected, and respected if the real interaction is present. To deal with stress, vulnerability, happiness, pain, and loneliness, one is truly capable while cooperating with Others. Online communication only provides “instant gratification,” but scarcely can offer deep understanding and a feeling of presence.

The Social Media Impact on Young Adults

Social media addresses and satisfies such basic human needs as the need to be listened to and to feel the presence of the Other, which may cause the degradation of social skills. As social animals, human beings tend to socialize and form bonds with people to be recognized by the significant Other and experience the existence itself. During her TED Talk, Sherry Turkle states that people feel lonely but are fearful of intimacy (“Connected, but alone?” 00:12:18-00:12:28). This statement describes precisely what the human being is – the need for being recognized and accepted by the significant Other confronts the fear of being violated when one is the most vulnerable. The intimacy in real life may be terrifying, while sharing personal opinions and perspectives with a close internet friend may be reassuring and calming. Thus, social media covers the areas where the individual is the most vulnerable and, then, prevents them from developing the ability to share and open up to Others in real life.

The popular social network, Facebook, provides the opportunity for free communication via personal messages, posts on the walls, sharing photos, and opinions. At first glance, an individual connects to people from all over the world, or from the next neighbor, and obtains new experiences by communicating. They may share their feelings and opinions on an issue with the strangers, and feel satisfied and safe since they do not have to maintain, at least, eye contact. Moreover, the messages may always be edited or deleted, which makes the individual feel control over the conversation (“Connected, but alone?” 00:006:35-00:06:42). However, the basic human needs can only be gratified via communication in person, with eye contact, feeling the presence of the Other, and physical interactions (e.g., hugs, touches, etc.) Facebook, though a useful application, cannot provide these actions; instead, it deprives people of them. If an individual does not engage in interpersonal communication, Facebook and other social media may cause a constant feeling of loneliness or anxiety.

Further, social media decreases the ability to empathize, listen to the Other, and lead a conversation. Online communication offers individuals an opportunity, at practically any moment, to share one’s opinion on their wall, or via a post on Instagram. Not only the text messages are available but also images can communicate one’s state of mood and views, as well. “They ruin friendships and cause drama,” Freitas and Smith cite one of her interviewees (p. 233). She provides an example of a user who posted a photo with friends, delivering how happy he or she was, where one of them was absent. Then, having seen the picture, he felt “left off” and fought with them, not being able to resolve the case by talking and making a constructive dialogue (Freitas and Smith, p. 232). The situation clearly shows that social media provoked a feeling of loneliness and the inability to communicate with loved ones appropriately.

Instagram is an application that offers its users an opportunity to communicate with others at any moment. People may deliver text messages or images via posts or stories, and may always be read or heard. However, typing and maintaining real conversations need different skills. “‘No one makes eye contact anymore. I’m always smiling, being super friendly, and no one does that anymore because they’re always on their phone’”, one of the interviewees says to Freitas and Smith (p. 211). Such communicative skills as eye contact, making proper questions to maintain a conversation and express interest in the other perso,n or looking for the areas of convergence become atrophied. Social media offers desired control over the conversation where the interlocutors may cease it whenever they want to, pause if needed, and to tk of the answer (Jin et al, p. 571). Neither thedo y need to deal with high emotional tension while communicating online. If not used, these communicative abilities are degenerating over time.

Not only the social media weaken the abilities to communicate in real life but also online games, witheirits virtual magic world. Online games, such as WoW, Counter-Strike, or others, do not basically need the interaction between the participants, or, if they do, it can be implemented in any form. Neither of them represents the one typical for real conversation. The word forms are shortened; the culture of conversation is not needed while gaming; no physical presence or interaction is needed, either. Let alone the alteration of life purposes and mindset of a gamer. Having spent much time gaming, people lose the ability to capture the emotions of the other person and, basically, lose interest in interpersonal communication, which causes further atrophy of communication abilities.

Social networking may provoke the danger of bullying or stalking. The victims of bullying are reported to “show pooper school achievement, loneliness, poor health, and a greater level of anxiety” (Hase et al. 608). In her book It’s Complicated: The Social Lives of Networked Teens, Boyd cites the case of two sisters with one of them bullying the other on Facebook. Not only the bullied one began to seek the adult’s approval of her, but the one who bullied became less cooperative and reserved (Boyd, p. 129). As Boyd states, bullying may occur in different forms or be “indirect.” Bullying can be manifested as “boys mocked cheerleaders for their eating habits. Gossip about who might be pregnant, who was hooking up with whom” (Boyd, p. 132). The gossips may circulate via Facebook, Tweeter, Instagram, or any other accounts, aggravating the lives of students while in school. Consciously or not, young adults may cause a feeling of humiliation and inferiority or anxiety attacks in their classmates by bullying them on social media.

The Social Networks’ Support

Nonetheless, from different perspectives, the harm of social media and online communication might be arguable. Some people may say that one can restrict the usage time of the applications, and still be present in the real world, have thoughtful conversations, and develop communicative skills. Indeed, such a strategy is the most useful in the modern world. However, the social networks’ algorithms are designed to develop an addiction (Woods and Scott, p. 45). The time of usage can be limited, as well as the purpose of the user may be corrected, and some social networks may be deleted (or deactivated). Nonetheless, the temptation to activate the account again might be strong. Moreover, communication with classmates or colleagues is now strongly tied to social networks, which impedes quitting social media.

Second, some may say that posting on social media may boost one’s writing skills. It is known that the individuals strive to look better on social media than they actually are (Jasso-Medrano and López-Rosales, p. 184). Hoping to look better, one may feel pressure and write more sophisticated texts to please themselves and the target audience. The diverse social networks, such as Facebook, Instagram, Telegram, and others, offer a wide range of writing opportunities. The individuals that aim to start a business or a blog may use these platforms. To achieve the goal, they may significantly boost their writing skills. Still, working online requires much time to contemplate the topics for sharing, designing the page, or blog. The time that could have been shared with friends or family is now wasted for developing a personal online empire. Moreover, the improvement of writing skills can only be achieved if, and only if, the user writes and not stalks someone on the Internet or plays games.

Third, bullying occurs commonly, whether it is the virtual world or the real one. Cyberspace is only the “new means of victimization,” not a way to find other victims (Hase et al, p. 607). Hase et al. state that cyberbullying may be an overrated phenomenon; it is only an extension of in-person bullying (p. 608). The supporters of this perspective claim that it is, first, important to educate children properly to avoid misunderstanding and further bullying, and, if positive values are inculcated, people tend to support each other. The PostSecret website, where the users may share their difficulties and “the world is asked to respond”, they basically receive support (Turkle, p. 229). However, although cyberspace might be only a “new means of victimization,” it remains a powerful tool for the bullies. A compromising picture posted by a student might cause an anxiety attack to another if the latter wanted to keep it to themselves.

Conclusion

The expansion of social media initially intended to facilitate communication, has led to new challenges. The social networks may promote the formation of the strong bond between people, as well as degradation of the communicative skills and, further, separation of humans. Online communication addresses human psychological basic needs – the need to be listened to and to feel the presence of the Other, to experience the existence itself. However, social networking can only provide phantom gratifications as an opportunity to be listened to at any moment or draw everyone’s attention to oneself. Lack of real conversations entails the degradation of social skills, such as maintaining eye contact or leading a conversation. There is no need to mention that social media has become a new means of victimization. While the effect of communication in cyberspace is highly controversial, one should remember that if used properly, it may boost diverse personal skills, but, if overused, it may cause isolation or worse.

References

1. Boyd, Danah. It’s Complicated: The Social Lives of Networked Teens. Yale University Press, 2014.
2. “Connected, but Alone?” YouTube, uploaded by TED, 2012. Web.
3. Freitas, Donna, and Christian Smith. The Happiness Effect: How Social Media is Driving a Generation to Appear Perfect at Any Cost. Oxford University Press, 2017.
4. Hase, Goldberg, et al. “Impacts of Traditional Bullying and Cyberbullying on the Mental Health of Middle School and High School Students.” Psychology in the Schools, vol. 52, no. 6, 2015, pp. 607-617.
5. Jasso-Medrano, José Luis, and Fuensanta López-Rosales. “Measuring the Relationship between Social Media Use and Addictive Behavior and Depression and Suicide Ideation among University Students.” Computers in Human Behavior, vol. 87, no. 4, 2018, pp. 183-191.
6. Jin, Muqaddam, et al. “Instafamous and Social Media Influencer Marketing.” Marketing Intelligence & Planning, vol. 37, no. 5, 2019, pp. 567-579.
7. Turkle, Sherry. Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other. Hachette UK, 2017.
8. Woods, Heather Cleland, and Scott Holly. “#Sleepyteens: Social Media Use in Adolescence is Associated with Poor Sleep Quality, Anxiety, Depression and Low Self-Esteem.” Journal of Adolescence, vol. 51, no. 8, 2016, pp. 41-49.