Why the married life of a young Chinese woman in rural China differs from the married life of her grandmother, 50 years earlier?
Conjugal Bond
There is a significant difference in the married lives of present-day women and older generation women. Yan (87) says that this difference stems from the changing societal perception about the role of women in the society and the increased appreciation of the nuclear family structure as the main basis for societal progression. Yan (86) recalls a story involving an old man who committed suicide because he did not get the respect he expected from his younger son and his daughter-in-law. Yan (86) further elaborates that since the old man was a tyrant, he expected his daughter-in-law to respect his authority. However, she often questioned his authority. He later committed suicide.
The above story elaborates the changing family power structure that not only defines the role of the woman as an emerging source of power, but also the role of the woman as a thriving center for social cohesion. By extension, Yan (89) questions why there has been a general push towards appreciating the nuclear family structure (as opposed to the extended family structure) as the main basis for the formation of the Chinese society. He also says that intimacy and conjugal love has attracted many Chinese people to the nuclear family structure (Yan 89).
In the past, many women never enjoyed this conjugal love or intimacy because men used emotional distance and the lack of affection to perpetrate male masculinity. Yan (91) documents this observation through the life of a 56-year-old teacher who affirmed that her parents rarely talked to each other. The teacher also said that, “her parents rarely spoke at home, except for some words related to work, or during quarrels that often ended in his father beating his mother” (Yan 91). This trend replicated in many households across China because older generation women were treated with less respect that today’s women. The society equally positioned them at the bottom of the Chinese family power structure.
In the old days, the Chinese society equally treated women with less respect because the society gave them little freedom to do whatever they wanted. For example, arranged marriages were more prevalent in the Chinese rural society. Yan says, “village youth did not have any say about their marriages, which were arranged according to parental order” (47). Such practices also increased gender differences because they also increased male patriarchy. Indeed, Yan (90) affirms that the lack of conjugal intimacy and affection stemmed from the unwillingness of Chinese men to talk to their women. In addition, as explained from the excerpt below, arranged marriages in the Chinese society contributed to the lack of conjugal intimacy in the Chinese society. Concisely, Yan reports an assertion by one respondent, who described his relationship with his partner by saying,
“We know each other so well. When she speaks, I already know what she wants to say. Therefore, I do not feel the need to sit down and talk with her at length. But this does not mean we do not like each other” (Yan 92).
This narration highlights the lack of emotional and conjugal intimacy among older married partners. Yan (92) says that middle-aged married couples enjoy more intimacy because they spend more time together, as opposed to older married partners. In fact, present-day couples spend more time together, both at work and at home. Therefore, intimacy and conjugal relationships outline the distinction between older married couples and new married couples. The married life of a young Chinese woman in rural China would therefore have a deeper conjugal bond than an older generation married woman.
Decision-making
In the past, the society did not consider women as part of a family’s decision-making process. Usually, the men made important decisions in the family, and the women followed such decisions without questioning the men. However, today, many women are making more decisions regarding the family. Yan (95) says that there are more families where women make decisions than there are families where men make decisions. Specifically, he says women dominate about 35% of Chinese households, while men dominate only about 19% of Chinese households (Yan 98). Only about 49% of Chinese households have both men and women contribute equally to the decision-making process (Yan 98). These statistics show a significant decline of Chinese households dominated by men. Therefore, unlike her grandmother, a young Chinese woman today would easily become part of the family decision-making process.
Indeed, this trend highlights the difference between the lives of older generation women and new generation women. New generation women would find it increasingly easy to make important decisions in the family, but older women would have experienced stiff opposition if they would try to do the same. The change in the role of women as decision-makers also replicates in an interesting study, by Yan (96), to investigate the view of Xiajia villagers regarding different sample family groups. He reported an excerpt from villagers who said, “nowadays so many wives have the final say at home” (Yan 100). “It was the Gonjia the government, officials and or the state that has spoiled them, enabling them to threaten men with divorce” (Yan 100). This situation did not arise for older married couples.
Factors that led to the Change of Women Status
Increased Educational Opportunities for Women
Unlike the modern Chinese woman, older generation Chinese women enjoyed few educational opportunities. In fact, older generation Chinese women never had many channels for advancing their social and economic interests, except through their husbands. This system subordinated women. Moreover, the failure of women to gain access to adequate educational opportunities limited their chances of enjoying gainful employment and improving their social and economic statuses. The few educational opportunities for girls stem from some cultural retrogressive practices that preferred boys to girls. Many Chinese parents therefore preferred to educate boys as opposed to girls because they believed the boys had a stronger economic value than girls did (Fong 133).
The selective appreciation for boys over girls however changed because many Chinese parents now invest in both genders, almost equally. This is especially true for modern families where families appreciate girls the same way as boys. Some Chinese rural communities are however slow to adopt this change because they value boys more than they do value girls. Nonetheless, broadly, increased educational opportunities for Chinese girls have changed the status of women because they are now able to compete with boys on an equal level (Fong 133). The one-child policy is one such example that modern Chinese women use to compete with boys. In fact, Fong asserts, “China’s one-child policy creates a generation of ambitious, well-educated children who would lead their country into the First World” (2).
Communist movement
The appreciation of the modern-day Chinese woman as an economically productive person partly stems from the communist movement of the 20th century. This movement sought to achieve societal cohesion by appreciating women the same way it did to men. The movement also introduced a new dawn for China because it subsumed gender differences that deprived women of the right to be equal to their male counterparts (Fong 131).
One-Child Policy
The introduction of the one-child policy also led to the appreciation of women in the Chinese society. While many women who lived before the introduction of the one-child policy enjoyed the company of siblings, women who lived after the introduction of the policy may not have had siblings. In fact, Fong says, “in urban areas, most children born after 1979 had no siblings” (3). The prevalence of patriarchal norms in rural China prevented the adoption of the one-child policy in rural China. Therefore, because the rural Chinese society adopts a male-dominated economic system, it is very difficult for the rural Chinese community to appreciate the role of girls in the society. Fong (133) explains that this patriarchal system made it difficult for women to support their parents in old age.
Nonetheless, the introduction of the one-child policy eliminated the emphasis on boys as the only source of economic power. More so, parents who had to contend with having one child (daughter) lived with the conviction that they had to empower the daughter because she would be their only source of economic support. Indeed, Fong said, “It is better for families to have only one child. With many children, they will not care about any of them” (2). The same outcome was true for older women. Many older women had several siblings who had a role to play in the society. Because of the privilege of selecting children for different societal responsibilities, parents always preferred to invest in boys because they could easily ignore the girls and have a successful family.
Like many societies around the world, the Chinese society considered girls to be a “bad investment” because they would marry into a different family. The availability of options for allocating different responsibilities to children increased the marginalization of women in the Chinese society. Parents could have more children by hoping that they would get a male child who would be of more value to them. However, the introduction of the one-child policy eliminated this privilege and parents had to contend with their options (boy or girl). Therefore, today, rural women who live in China receive more appreciation than women who lived in the earlier decades (Fong 133). Comprehensively, changes in legislation and the changes in the perceptions of male and female genders have therefore greatly contributed to the improvement of the status of women in China.
Value of Children and their Importance to Parents
Economic Value
“Prior to the one-child policy, most girls were raised to be losers” (Fong 107). However, because of changing societal perceptions about gender roles in the society, “a good daughter-in-law is better than a good son, and a good daughter is best of all” (Fong 133). Fong (128) claims, children in the Chinese society became part of a retirement plan for the elderly because their economic and emotional value was high. Therefore, as children grew older, their parents increasingly relied on them for basic needs.
Ordinarily, parents considered boys to have the greatest responsibility for taking care of their parents because there was a strong emphasis on the boys as the preferable source of economic and social freedom. Therefore, many parents preferred to have boys, as opposed to girls, because boys could easily take care of their parents (because they were more economically empowered). However, the changing societal attitudes that prevailed towards the end of the 20th century led to the acceptance of women as good caregivers. The life of Chinese women therefore improved because the society no longer considered women to have a low economic value. Instead, the society compared their economic value with boys in the society. The popularized emancipation of women’s movement in the 20th century was responsible for the change in this societal perception (Fong 133).
Women as Caregivers
Today, the modern Chinese society appreciates women the same way it does to men. Fong (133) emphasizes the increased value of a Chinese woman when he highlights the increased appreciation of a good daughter-in-law by the Chinese society. In the past, Chinese women never received this level of appreciation. Comparatively, the Chinese society treated women as second-class people. The failure to appreciate women defined a patriarchal system in the society where their husbands and other figures of male influence increasingly overshadowed women. Indeed, perpetuating the family line defined the role of the Chinese woman.
Today, with the changes in societal values, the Chinese society now appreciates women not only for their economic contribution, but also for their role as good caregivers. Therefore, compared to men, the society considers women more caring and considerate of their parents (Fong 134). Comparatively, men do not share the same compassion women have with their families. This inequality in the quality of care informs the assertion that having a good daughter is better than having a good son.
Works Cited
Fong, Vanessa. Only Hope: Coming of Age under China’s One-Child Policy, Stanford, California: Stanford University Press, 2006. Print.
Yan, Yunxiang. Private Life under Socialism: Love, Intimacy, and Family Change in a Chinese Village, 1949-1999, Stanford, California: Stanford University Press, 2003. Print.