Bullying is aggressive behavior aimed to abuse others. Recently it has become a common thing for children and adults, which is sure to be not normal. It is claimed that every sixth child reports suffering from bullying in America (Barclay & Butler, 2010). It can happen through physical contact, verbally by teasing or flinging dirt at somebody and via technology by messages or calls. The problem occurred to be so severe that government ministers “announced ‘behavior and attendance’ program, with the main aim being to combat school bullying by funding and providing in ‘anti-bullying strategies’, with special consultants employed to help local authorities tackle the problem” (McLaughlin, 2008, p. 107).
As a rule, bullies are people who come from families where often occur quarrels, and poor parenting is present. These can be individuals who are narcissistic and want to show their supremacy or those who are/were bullied themselves and now want to pay back. The victims usually are children and adults who lack confidence and social skills and come from bad families. Bullying makes their lives unbearable and quite often victims even commit suicide.
That is why it is important to pay attention to the reasons why bullying occurs and ways in which it can be reduced. No matter where it turns out to be noticed – at school, home or work – bullying brings troubles and adversity. It underlines that there are no particular standards of how one is to behave and treat others within the locations, or they are poorly conducted. Even though there are many reasons that cause bullying, it can be prevented if people receive help from their families and friends, are encouraged to participate in various activities and consult a psychologist.
There are a lot of reasons why children and adults become bullies nowadays. One of them is their wish to get noticed. It is believed that “one gets more social recognition for negative behaviors than for positive ones” (Bullying statistics, 2015, para. 6). One can see this every day when watches some films and/or TV-series. People tend to follow these examples as they want to make themselves conspicuous just like the characters.
They are likely to have not enough social skills, which enables them to stand out with the help of one’s personal traits. The wish to get noticed can also occur if one is neglected by parents and coworkers or is likely to achieve no or few success at work or while studying. Thus, the person lacks self-esteem and feels miserable. Such a condition has an adverse effect on the individual, and one turns out to put up with the situation and become a victim or to get angry and do everything to get noticed.
So what can be done to improve the situation? It is important to make a bully see and use other ways that can help to stand out. When one is yet a child, the parents are responsible for dealing with the issue. They should change the manner they treat their kid: pay more attention to one’s achievements, support, and be understanding. Parents also are to teach a child how to act properly so that he/she will not even think of bullying others.
They should explain that things perceived from the TV are not always true to life and worth following. The school is also to take responsibility. There should be more extracurricular activities for children to find the one to their liking. They should be encouraged to participate and gain success. Both kid’s and adults’ heart-to-heart conversations with the nearest and dearest people can help to understand how they can improve the existing situation and get to know what except for bullying can help to win popular affections and respect (Blumen, 2011).
Problems at home can also turn a person into a bully. If parents do not take care of the child and stick to the uninvolved style of parenting, one is likely to search for needed attention at school. However, due to the lack of appropriate communication, this person tends to interact with others inappropriately. As acting normal at home does not help to get more attention from the members of the family, one may start bullying others to gain it. If the parents are addicted to alcohol or drugs, the child will follow their example of behavior and spoil their relationships with peers. Too strict parents can put the child under the constant pressure and make one want to take it out on somebody.
In the case of adult bullying, the reason within the family can also be the same. A spouse, who cannot find a common language with a partner or is pressed by one, may show his/her power by bullying colleagues (Lines, 2008).
In this situation, some help from people without the family is needed. As the bully is scarce to search for one, their victims or observers of bullying are to take measures. Friends can try to talk with the person and bring one to his/her senses. They should explain the situation as they see it and recommend several ways out. Perhaps, one of them will be a suggestion to live in another place at least for a while. If the bully is an adult, he/she should break with a spouse or consult a psychologist.
Children should be influenced by the friends of the family or by teachers. Other adults, who are close to the family and see that the problems within it affect the child negatively, should interfere (Blumen, 2011). They can take care of the little bully themselves and change one or find someone who knows how to act in such a situation. It can be a social help and consultation with the professional.
Aggressive personality can be the cause of bullying that does not depend on outer factors. The information carried by the genes may make people behave in a particular way. Even though the genetic influences are “unlikely to come in the form of a “gene for bullying”, genes may influence physical characteristics or psychological factors such as social cognition or emotional regulation, which are associated with bullying behavior” (Gregory, Ball, & Button, 2010, p. 36). It means that even if a child is born and raised in normal conditions, one can tend to become a bully. Still, inherited aggressive behavior does not presuppose that the person is sure to make others suffer.
There is always a trigger that influences the individual and changes some of his/her points of view. If such a person was not taught how to control and compose oneself, he/she is likely to get into trouble and become a problem for people who are around. A slight sense of discontent can erupt into bullying, then into violence, and finally, lead to imprisonment. The aggressive person is hot-tempered and fearless. In the early school years, such children are often treated as leaders, and that is why one believes that such behavior is appropriate. However, being elder they start evaluating the situation and understand that arrogance and incensement are not good examples of a real leader (Barclay & Butler, 2010).
Thus, the bully changes his/her behavior to be a part of the group or becomes even more aggressive to bring the previous position back. As an adult, the bully turns out to be too anxious; one loses the temper quickly and compromises the authority of others.
The best way to deal with aggression is to steer it in the right direction. If this energy finds a way out except for dominating others by intimidating and using force, the bullying behavior is likely to stop. To find an appropriate hobby is the first step that should be done. Competitive sports help to let the steam off and cool down. They make a person concentrate on victory and follow particular rules. The bully will have no opportunity to behave indecently and still be able to achieve success.
These sports are the ones that let people release their aggression and teach them how to act within a team. Boxing, football, rugby, and other sports will be a great hobby for children and adults who inherited aggressive personalities (Lines, 2008). Of course, it is better if parents are the ones who notice the problem and offer such a solution. It is easier to deal with the problem when it is in the first stages of development. In this way, the bullying can be even entirely prevented. However, it is important to remember that it is never too late to be what you might have been, which means that it is possible to deal with bullying among adults.
In this situation, consultations with a psychologist are also of advantage. The professional will find out what are the best ways to deal with aggression for the particular patient on the basis of individual approach. One can recommend special techniques, such as meditation, that help people control their emotions (Blumen, 2011). In the most severe cases, even some medical treatment is possible. Of course, the role of family and friends should not be underestimated. The relationships between them and a pleasant time spent by interacting with one’s nearest and dearest have a positive impact on the person. Heart-to-heart conversations and collective evaluation of the behavior can help to understand the reasons for aggression better.
Taking into consideration everything mentioned above, it is possible to arrive at the conclusion that bullying does not come out of thin air. There are many causes of such behavior, and commonly they start influencing a person in childhood. People should understand that bullying is not the thing no one can deal with. It can be prevented if people who are close to this person will step in to save the situation. Of course, bullies need to have strict rules to follow, but even they can change only with help from their families and friends.
The improved situation at home, participation in competitive sports, and psychology consultations can turn a terrible bully into a pleasant person. Thus, the recent epidemic of bullying is partially the fault of the people around them, and the only solution is to deal with the issue in a concerted effort.
References
Barclay, F., & Butler, R. (2010). Bullying: Ending the epidemic. Oak Lawn, IL: United Vision Peer Group, Inc.
Blumen, L. (2011). Bullying epidemic: Not just child’s play. Toronto, Canada: Camberley Press.
Bullying statistics. (2015). Web.
Gregory, A., Ball, H., & Button, T. (2010). Behavioral genetics. In P. Smith & C. Hart (Eds.), The Wiley-Blackwell handbook of childhood social development (pp. 27-45). West Sussex, United Kingdom: John Wiley & Sons.
Lines, D. (2008). The bullies: Understanding bullies and bullying. London, United Kingdom: Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
McLaughlin, K. (2008). Social work, politics and society: From radicalism to orthodoxy. Bristol, United Kingdom: Policy Press.