Friend is a one who shares some common interests and close bonds with an individual. Friendship is a psychological need of every individual. Researchers have proved that young kids who have friends tend to have better physical and mental health as compared to those children who do not have any friends. In this paper, we shall compare and contrast the approaches to studying children friendship undertaken by Bigelow and La Gaipa and William Corsaro.
It has been observed that friendship gives moral sustainability in different ways such as emotional, substantial help, and cognitive direction. Many studies have been conducted using sample groups of young individuals in order to understand interpersonal link between them but very little assessment has been made in these studies regarding liking and disliking of friends1.
Bigelow and La Gaipa undertook a research to understand the cognitive bond and friendship by studying the interpersonal bond between young children belonging to a pre-school. Based on their research, they have founded a theory, according to which it is assumed that the children consider close relationship, appraisals, and sharing common interests as something very important to them and on the basis of these factors they tend to choose their friends.
However, this concept is still vague as the dimensions of liking and disliking are important and varied in every case or some other external factors also play their part in liking or disliking decisions2.
William Corsaro, a well-known sociologist who has specialized in the ethnography of childrens culture, presented his perceptions about childrens friendship in both theoretical and methodological manner. Additionally, William explained that the information about liking or disliking peer is not enough to find out about the real behaviour of children towards their any particular friend, no can judge the involvement of an individual in his or her peer on the basis of liking or disliking factor.
He has used more traditional research tools in order to find out all pros and cons of childrens cognitive bonding, behaviour, and peer influence on their personal and social lives. Bigelow and La Gaipa study tends to form an understanding of the common dimensions and factors responsible for every kids friendship at pre-school, but William Corsaro did not agree with this idea that same age group kids tend to show similar behaviour towards their bonds with peers3.
He observed the diversified behaviour in children based on Piagets work who evaluated young individuals’ behaviour by giving them a chance to pour liquid in the container and he observed that these kids do not have sense of measuring volume as every kid poured liquid in different proportions in the same container. Similarly, William pointed out the fact that every kid is different from others and he or she perceives things according to his or her own choices and willingness.
In 1975, Bigelow and La Gaipa study adopted a cognitive model of sequential development in children, which they tried to find out the expectations of the children related to their friendship. Relationship is nothing without expectations because where relationship and love exists expectations are always there. It is a human psychological need that a person wants his or her friends and family members to do things what they like most and what makes them happy.
Therefore, an experiment was carried out by Bigelow; he took a sample group of 480 Canadian and Scottish children and asked them to write an essay on the topic “My Expectations from Friends”. When written content was analysed it was found that children expect a lot from their peers. Most common factor, which has been found in their essays, was that they seek priority. It is in a sense that children expect that in a group or while choosing between two things their friends should give priority to them.
Otherwise, they might tend to take revenge or they might show aggressive behaviour towards their friends. In addition, it has also been observed that when any individual fights with his or her friends or their friends do not fulfil their expectations they show an explicit change in their behaviour towards their parents and other family members as well.4
William appreciated this effort of Bigelow as it provides an account for understanding cross culture peer relationship, but according to him it was not valid for all age groups and also for children related to different backgrounds. However, Bigelow believed that cognitive characteristic of relationship may change with the passage of time but efficient values remain same forever. In addition, William shed light upon children’s perception of best friends.
According to him, everyone is different from each other, so the intensity of their expectations from their friends and best friend is also different. Psychologically some people are more sensitive and possessive about their relationships as compare to those who make friends just for enjoyment and time pass.
Although, during childhood children should not show possessiveness but still it is observed that some children show sensitivity towards their friendship. William explained that children consider one or two of their friends as their best ones, with whom they want to spend most of their time and they do not lose such a friend at any cost.
Also, their activities play an important part in strengthening in their bond with each other. These activities mostly depend upon the time period that children spend with each other everyday like going to school together and spending night over each other’s place.
In relation to this type of friendship another factor came forward and that is the bond between their parents. It is because children’s friends turn into best friends when their parents also play part in it and encourage their child friendship. Whereas, on other hand Bigelow did not accept the concept of real best friend during childhood because according to him during early childhood children do not have sense to distinguish between friend and best friend5.
Another, drawback which has been observed in Bigelow and La Gaipa study is that they did not try to explain the fact why children dislike some specific children around them as compared to others6. What has been the psychological reason behind their likes and dislikes? Is there any such possibility that children hate all those kids who do not share common interests with them or simply those who are not their friends? Although, Bigelow and La Gaipa study tends to explain behaviour and factors involved in this process, but they failed to explain it explicitly.
It is because they viewed all behaviours, actions, reactions, and factors as something which is possible and common in all dimensions7. However, William studied every individuals case separately in order to provide perfect explanation of the kids friendship bond with respect to human nature and psychology.
William in order to understand children’s world made a captivating and enlightening experiment in which he sat down on sand with kids, played with them, and followed their each hand movement and facial expression8.
He wanted to think and look at things from their viewpoints as he wanted to explore children’s surroundings and factors affecting their behaviour. Psychologists have also emphasized on the fact that in order to bring up children in a better way it is important for parents to view things having their children’s perspectives.
It would help to have a fresh and clear insight of their children’s behaviour and only then they would be able to bring up their children in a better way and according to their kids behavioural nature and needs.
Furthermore, William has done an outstanding work in the field of ethnography, and he tried to explain relationship between special children such as deaf and dumb as well as sense of friendship between those who are handicapped either physically or mentally.
During his research, he tried to spend as much time as could with the group of children whom he wanted to study. Therefore, he spend several hours with a group of 83 children who were blind, deaf or dumb, where he found that despite of having such weaknesses they all had a sense of maintaining relationships with each other.
Like all other normal kids they also like to make friends and they communicate through their sign language. Also, they all show similar behaviour as every other normal kid show depending upon his or her personal choices and natural perceptions.
In addition, he also observed some mentally retarded children and he analyzed that such individuals show more sincere and honest attitude towards their friends. It is because they usually do not have any other activity to participate in; such as studying or learning. However, no evidences of such approaches have been found in Bigelow and La Gaipa study as their study mainly focused on examining different groups of children at pre-school.
From the above discussion, it could be concluded that friendship is a bond which is important to have in everyones life in order to satisfy psychological needs. Two different studies presented different notions about childrens friendship and its impact on their lives.
Bigelow and La Gaipa study focused on over all understanding of cognitive base of liking and disliking peers; whereas, William explained children’s friendship needs and perception from childrens point of view in order to present a clear view friendship psychology of childhood.
Bibliography
Bagwell, C, and M. Schmidt. Friendships in Childhood and Adolescence. New York: Guilford Press, 2011.
Balter, L, and C. Tamis-LeMonda. Child Psychology: A Handbook of Contemporary Issues. New York: Psychology Press, 2003.
Corsaro, W, and T. Rizzo. “Discussion and Friendship: Socialization Processes in the Peer Culture of Italian Nursery School Children.” American Social Review, 1988: 879-894.
Corsaro, W, and L. Molinari. I compagni: Understanding Children’s Transition From Preschool to Elementary School. New York: Teachers College Press, 2005.
Corsaro, W. We Are Friends, Right? Washington D.C.: Joseph Henry Press, 2003.
Foot, H, A Chapman, and J. Smith. Friendship and Social Relations in Children. New Jersey: Transaction Publishers, 1995.
Hayes, D. “Cognitive Basis for Liking and Disliking Among Preschool Children.” Society of Research in Child Development Inc., 1978: 906-909.
Footnotes
1 Balter, L, and C. Tamis-LeMonda. Child Psychology: A Handbook of Contemporary Issues. New York: Psychology Press, 2003.
2 Corsaro, W, and L. Molinari. I compagni:Understanding Children’s Transition From Preschool to Elementary School. New York: Teachers College Press, 2005.
3 Hayes, D. “Cognitive Basis for Liking and Disliking Among Preschool Children.” Society of Research in Child Development Inc., 1978: 906-909.
4 (Foot, H, A Chapman, and J. Smith. Friendship and Social Relations in Children. New Jersey: Transaction Publishers, 1995.)
5 (Foot, H, A Chapman, and J. Smith. Friendship and Social Relations in Children. New Jersey: Transaction Publishers, 1995.)
6 Bagwell, C, and M. Schmidt. Friendships in Childhood and Adolescence. New York: Guilford Press, 2011.
7 Corsaro, W. We Are Friends, Right? Washington D.C.: Joseph Henry Press, 2003.
8 Carsaro, W, and T. Rizzo. “Discussion and Friendship:Socialization Processes in the Peer Culture of Italian Nursery School Children.” American Social Review, 1988: 879-894.