Introduction
Conflict analysis is an organized evaluation of the possible sources, players, and dynamics of disagreements that occur between individuals, groups, and/or communities. It brings about an understanding of the context in which the conflict takes place and the existing relationships between the parties involved. The process is aimed at alleviating the devastating effects of conflicts while optimizing the constructive impacts. The conflict analysis presented in this essay falls into a private life context. This scenario is evident where various close family members are involved in varying disputes. Levels of conflicts can be categorized into intrapersonal, interpersonal, or intergroup.
This analysis reveals that the level of the conflict occurring in this context is interpersonal. The differences occur amongst the members of an extended family. It is evident that various previous events and family relationships are the primary causes of the conflict. The fact that my father was involved in separate marriages created differences between the stepchildren. For instance, I have not been on good terms with my aunt and stepbrother. Besides, I have not grown in the same family with my stepbrother and sister. Another major event that fueled the conflict between my aunt and me was that I once forgot her birthday. This essay provides a conflict analysis scenario by examining a personal case. It aims at discussing the levels, stages, causes, and outcomes of the conflict with a view of formulating a suitable negotiation process to resolve it.
Brief Summary of the Conflict
The conflict in this context occurs in various stages that are evidenced by my life experience in the family. I have an older half-brother and sister from my father’s first marriage. We did not grow up together in the same family. Therefore, I do not have a strong family bond. My sister has always been a good student. She possesses a university degree in business that has earned her a successful career. Although my sister enjoys a comfortable lifestyle, she cares more about people than money. My brother is the opposite of my sister. He has never studied much rather he preferred an easy life. However, he likes money. Our aunt (my father’s sister) never had any children. She is very rich since she inherited a lot of money from my uncle who passed away. My brother always made sure that he had a very close relation with our aunt and often asked for lavish possessions such as a new car, house, and/or money among others. I think my brother has always been lazy, but he thinks life has never treated him fairly. I have always thought that he kept close relations with our rich aunt because of her money. Seemingly, our aunt believed my brothers stories that he never got a fair chance in life. For this reason, she regarded him as her “favorite”.
My relationship with her has been a bit difficult. I think my aunt had a very difficult personality since sometimes she become unreasonable. About 15 years ago I forgot her birthday, and she never forgot that. She kept reminding me how selfish I was. Although I tried keeping good relations with her, she had already made up her mind that I was a bad person.
Five years ago my rich aunt died, and she decided the following in her will. My sister got 10% of her assets because she did not need any more money with her successful career. I also got 10% of her assets. Although there was no explanation for it, I think she did it to punish me because I forgot her birthday many years ago. My brother got the remaining 80% because he has had such a hard life that needed some extra help. He thought this situation was totally fair. My sister and I have not spoken with my brother since my aunt’s funeral. We both feel he manipulated my aunt in a way that made her give him most of her money. We also think that he often told our aunt untrue stories about us to make us look bad while making him look worthy. Although both my sister and I don’t care too much about the money, we felt very upset with the way my brother used our aunt. He even told us he feels ‘entitled’ to her money since he had always had a better relationship with her than us.
Stages of the Conflict
The first stage of a conflict is usually unidentified by the players. In this essay, the latent stage is seen where there is an existence of a polygamist family. Allwood and Ahlsén (2015) reveal that the impending participants in the conflict sometimes remain unaware of the factors that pose threats to the prevailing relationships (p.53). The second stage of conflict development involves various emergent events. The emergence stage is seen where the aunt extends a lot of favor to our brother. In addition, she variously punished me for forgetting her birthday, a case that had occurred approximately two and half decades ago. The third stage involves escalating the conflict (Allwood & Ahlsén, 2015, p.53). At this stage, my aunt goes ahead to write a biased will that poses a threat to the worsening family relationship. The fourth stage involves a negotiation process after the death of my aunt. However, the planned negotiation process is dreaded o face various shortfalls due to the prevailing conflict condition. The last stage will involve a reconciliation process that will be aimed at rebuilding the family relationship and peace (Hrossowyc & Northfield, 2009, p.6).
Structural Causes of the Conflict
Value and Ideology Differences
According to Schwartz (2012), the interests of individuals are significantly influenced by certain values that they consider important (p.11). The Schwartz theory reveals that individuals exhibit substantial differences that arise from the possession of varying basic values. This state of affairs creates a wave of varying interests that can result in conflicts amongst individuals. The case above clearly indicates the existence of different interests amongst the family members. Schwartz (2012) posits that individuals are strongly attached to values that they deem vital in their lives (p.11). In this case, a value that is regarded as important by one person can be useless to another person. This scenario is evident from conflict summary presented above.
For instance, my sister’s strongest value was the achievement of academic goals that eventually earned her a successful career. She revealed personal success by upholding social competence. Although she is wealth, she has a great value for people as compared to money. This situation creates a conflict between her and my aunt who values her lavish lifestyle. My brother, who has never learned, chooses an easy lifestyle. The aunt sees him as disadvantaged thereby preferring helping him. Elsewhere, my aunt severally punished me for forgetting her birthday many years ago. These instances are a clear indication of reveal the existence of incompatible values that result in family conflict. The nature of values guides the attitudes and behaviors of individuals (Schwartz, 2012, p.11). The Schwartz theory of basic values cannot be underestimated in explaining the differences that result in conflicting interests in the family. It is evident that the conflicting values amongst the relatives bring about inequality as seen in the case where the aunt extends favors to my brother.
Identity Issues
According to Schwartz (2012), each party plays an important role in the development of a conflict (p.11). The role of the individuals involved in the conflict is governed by various identity issues that are either achieved or ascribed, primary or secondary, and persisting or transient. Most of the identity issues noted in the personal case presented above are either achieved or ascribed (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2012, p.20). These identities are based on various family characteristics and experiences. For instance, my sister has an achieved identity since she has strived to realize her academic goals. This situation has earned her a good career that is sustaining. On the other hand, my aunt had an ascribed identity since her wealth was inherited. Similarly, my stepbrother assumes an ascribed identity as seen where he chooses to live an easy life at the stake of aunt’s inherited wealth. These identities can be classified as social individualities since they affect the family life. According to Goldenberg and Goldenberg (2012), social identities play a significant role in the development of a conflict amongst individuals with varying personalities (p.21).
As aforementioned, these identities are crucial ingredients of the family conflict (Allwood & Ahlsén, 2015, p.54). For instance, the fact that my sister has strived to achieve a flourishing career is used as a reason to award her a less share of the aunt’s wealth. This state of affairs has been brought about by the two conflicting identities. The aunt felt that my sister had gained adequate efforts and choices that were sustaining (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2012, p.22). As a result, she awarded her 10-percent share of her wealth.
Resources: High-Stakes and Distribution Issues
Allwood and Ahlsén (2015) reveal that some conflicts result from the unequal distribution of resources (p.54). This situation is evident in the above case. There are several incidences of unequal distribution of resources where some individuals are awarded higher stakes than others (Allwood & Ahlsén, 2015, p.54). For instance, in the will, my aunt awarded my brother the largest share of her wealth owing to his standard of living. This set of circumstances created a significant difference amongst him, my sister, and me. As a result, we have not talked with our brother since aunt’s funeral. Despite the fact that our aunt was richly left, she only extended high favors to my half-brother because she considered him unfortunate. At one point, she gave him a lot of money and a new car.
It is clearly indicated that there is no power balance amongst the members of the family. According to Allwood and Ahlsén (2015), influence plays an important role in the development of a conflict (p.55). The influence of the aunt’s superiority has significantly shaped the conflict existing amongst the family members. Most of the aunt’s power can be attributed to her wealth status. As a result, she rules most of the decisions in the family. At the emergence stage of the conflict, there is the usage of reward power. For instance, my aunt is seen offering various material and monetary rewards to my brother. However, other people are not considered in the reward process. This situation is an indication of power misuse that results in the escalation of the conflict amongst us. Allwood and Ahlsén (2015) posit that power disparities have a significant effect on the state of the existing relationships (p.61). There is also an evidence of referent power in the course of the conflict. For example, my sister and I have developed a high sense of respect for each other. This state of affairs has enabled us cope with the intimidating behaviors of our aunt and brother. However, expert power is not used to calm down the situation despite the fact that my sister has undergone university education.
Frames
The parties in a conflict usually have different perceptions (Bates, Bader, & Mencken, 2003, p.177). In the case presented in this paper, it is clear that conflicting perceptions have led to unequal treatment. At the outset, there is a feeling that my sister has undergone adequate education and career development to cater for her needs. As a result, she receives unfair treatment where the aunt allocates her 10-percent of her wealth. However, my sister has a different perception of material possessions. Indeed, she values people more than money. Elsewhere, my brother holds a perception that life has never treated him fairly. As a result, he thinks that he should receive more material possessions and money from the aunt. This situation can be termed as stereotyping that has made him a lazy person.
According to Bates, Bader, and Mencken (2003), personality traits are core aspects that can aggravate the interpersonal conflicts (p.178). For instance, my sister has been determined to pursue her career. Her strength of character has helped her secure a comfortable life. On the other hand, our aunt had a rather intimidating personality that posed a significant threat to the various family relationships. This combination of personalities aggravated the level of the conflict. Our thinking also varied greatly. For instance, while our brother thought that our aunt had written the will correctly, my sister and I were against her decision. This situation indicated that the personality traits of the aunt were self-serving rather than other-serving despite the fact that she extended a helping hand to our brother, whom she considered less fortunate. Together with my sister, we exhibit an introvert character where we fail to question our brother about the unequal sharing of aunt’s wealth. This action revealed an avoidance conflict style.
Main Process Factors
The conflict existing amongst the family members generated various emotions at different stages. One of the most evident emotions in the conflict process is sensations (Hrossowyc & Northfield, 2009, p.3). This type of emotion is seen where different individuals control their behaviors differently. For instance, when my aunt decided to extend more favors to our brother, we decided to avoid questioning her due to the fear of escalating the conflict. Another type of emotion exhibited in the case is conceptions. This emotion reveals through various actions such as humiliation, selfishness, and pride. The aunt is selfish to both my sister and I. Pride is seen where she buys lavish items for my brother without taking the consideration of any other person in the family. These emotions have greatly influenced the course of the struggle (Hrossowyc & Northfield, 2009, p.3). Due to avoidance, my brother believed that our aunt did everything right. This situation worsened the conflict to a point where we shunned him.
Various psychologists have attested that avoidance results in failed attempts to resolve misunderstandings existing amongst individuals or groups. Due to opposing sides and conflicting personalities, efforts to come to terms with our brother and aunt have dwindled. Limbic resonance has been seen to affect the conflict significantly (Hrossowyc & Northfield, 2009, p.3). This phenomenon is referred to as an inherent process that happens in the unconscious part of the brain. According to Hrossowyc and Northfield (2009), it entails attuning the inner states of any two or more conflicting individuals (p.3). This situation was seen where our aunt spread her attitude and behaviors to our brother. As a result, he got accustomed to her behavior thereby adopting it. Perhaps, the limbic revision will be expected after the negotiation process succeeds. This process involves converting the insensible behavioral patterns into mindfulness. However, the possibility of limbic revision without a therapist will be significantly difficult (Hrossowyc & Northfield, 2009, p.4).
The primary motivation that leads to conflict amongst the parties involved both material and monetary items (Alesina & Giuliano, 2015, p.5). The analysis of the conflict indicates that the goals in the conflict are focused on both content and relationship based on their personalities. For instance, while my sister was more focused on the strengthening of the relationship between the family members, my brother was yearning for more monetary gains to lead a lavish lifestyle. This situation is seen where he frequently asks for money and posh cars from my aunt. The result of this state of affairs is seen in differing conflict management styles at the individual level.
The aunt’s style of conflict management included both accommodation and competition. The accommodation style was evident where she showed a high concern for herself and my brother. This technique of managing the conflict is only extended to my half-brother. However, Hrossowyc and Northfield reveal that one party benefits while the other party gains in the accommodation style of conflict management (4). This situation builds a potential credibility for an impending conflict. This fact means that accommodation can be helpful in the short run. However, Hrossowyc and Northfield admit that its repercussions are felt in the long run (5). In the case mentioned above, resentments are readily seen where our brother see my sister and me as unimportant owing to the wealth that he inherited.
Setting up the negotiation process
Aim of Negotiation
The aim of the negotiation process is to ensure a collective bargaining process with a view of healing the relationship amongst the existing family members (Alesina & Giuliano, 2015, p.6). It plays a significant role in bringing about an amicable solution for the conflicting parties. The conflict theory reveals that prestige and wealth create a framework for competition amongst the members of the same family (Hrossowyc and Northfield 3). This situation is evident in the case presented in this paper. The theory further holds that family conflicts are based on various dynamics and personalities of the individual members involved. Consequently, the negotiation process serves as a tool for creating a harmonious ground for an agreement (Hrossowyc and Northfield 3). In this case, the negotiation process will be aimed at becoming more compassionate with a view of finding the principal causes of the struggle existing in the family.
Potential Barriers to Achieving Aim
The conflict analysis process indicates that there are potential barriers to achieving the aims of negotiation. One of the most challenging barriers to the accomplishment of the conflict negotiation process is the failure to give respect and dignity (Allwood & Ahlsén, 2015, p.64). Our brother was deeply influenced by his aunt to a level where he failed to respect other people including my sister and me. Other people do not matter to him owing to the high percentage of wealth inheritance together with his low level of education. As a result, the possibility of realizing an amicable solution is lessened. In addition, there is also an impending systemic distrust in case the negotiation process succeeds (Allwood & Ahlsén, 2015, p. 64). The level of conflict will most likely make it difficult to trust each other even after the accomplishment of the negotiation goals. Reactive devaluation is also seen to arise since the conflict resolution process will not involve a mediator. This situation can lead to the weakening of various suggestions that will be offered for the conflict resolution process. Besides, psychological barriers pose a potential threat to the implementation of the negotiation plan. The family members will probably fail to accept the proposed reconciliation plan owing to dissonance about the past and fear of the unknown (Allwood & Ahlsén, 2015, p.65).
Map/Summary of the parties and how their Relative Profiles influence the Negotiation Design
Map of Sequence of Negotiation
Conclusion
Conflicts at the family level are inevitable, especially in the wake of changing ideologies and economic structures. This fact is underpinned by the reasoning that family ties have significant effects on economic behavior and attitudes. Nevertheless, the power of the family cannot be underestimated as it is paramount to the functioning of the unit, especially in matters that involve decision-making and parenting choices among others. Some researchers have regarded family power as a ‘property of the family system’. However, regardless of the problems that occur at the family level, relatives have to initiate various negotiation processes with a view of maintaining the relationships that make them a unit.
The case presented above shows that our family has broken up owing to a number of factors that have initiated interpersonal conflicts amongst us. This situation calls for the establishment of negotiation process to mend the torn relationship amongst the conflicting family members. To achieve this objective, the conflict theory clear reveals that there is a need to handle the prevailing disagreements constructively. For instance, the negotiation process should guide us to focus on the underlying issues rather than the people themselves. This situation will significantly promote the communication process amongst the conflicting parties. However, there is also a need to involve a conflict mediator to avoid impending problems such as reactive devaluation and lack of cooperation. This state of events will create a common ground for conflict resolution and family unity.
Reference List
Alesina, A., & Giuliano, P (2015). The Power of the Family. Web.
Allwood, J., & Ahlsén, E. (2015). On Stages of Conflict Escalation. Conflict and Multimodal Communication. Springer International Publishing, 1(1), 53-69.
Bates, K., Bader, C., & Mencken, C. (2003). Family structure, power-control theory, and deviance: Extending power-control theory to include alternate family forms. Western Criminology Review, 4(3), 170-190.
Goldenberg, H., & Goldenberg, I. (2012). Family therapy: An overview. London: Cengage Learning.
Hrossowyc, D., & Northfield, M. (2009). Resonance, Regulation and Revision: Rosen Method Meets the Growing Edge of Neurological Research. Rosen Method International Journal, 2(1), 3-9.
Schwartz, S. (2012). An overview of the Schwartz theory of basic values.” Online Readings in Psychology and Culture, 2(1), 11.