Dealing with stress makes one of the most important parts of a man’s life. To overcome the consequences of certain negative experiences, one has to work out a specific approach to the stressful situations that take place in his/her life. As Ciccarelli (2010) marked, “Stress can show itself in many ways.” (432).
Personally, I experienced some stress over the past year.
The first problem concerned the relationship between my mother and me. Being overloaded with numerous tasks to complete, I communicated with her less than I used to and felt that the wall between us was growing each day.
The second thing to worry about was the fact that constant strain and the necessity to study harder had an effect on my physical health. It resulted in insomnia and even nausea.
Thirdly, the strain within led to a change in my social behavior. I must admit that my style of socializing obtained a shade of aggression.
Another stress that I had to face concerned the course. Once hesitating to ask about the issues that I failed to understand, I realized I could not progress in my studying.
The last, but not the least problem has connected to the fact that I have recently had an opportunity to go to a popular resort, yet the news brought so many changes into my life and thrilled me into such a stir of emotions that this experience was rather unpleasant, mainly due to the turmoil about it.
Although the problems described above might seem considerably easy to cope with for a detached observer, I found them rather serious. Since most of the time, I felt the exact symptoms of stress that Ciccarelli (2010) described, namely, “problems in concentration,, memory and decision making” (432); in addition, it appeared that Ciccarelli (2010) was right in claiming that “people under stress often lose their sense of humor” (432).
It is necessary to mention that the problems described above affected my personal life greatly. Carrying the burden of stress, I became rather reserved and unwilling to socialize, which led to certain misconceptions among my friends and me.
The first three problems affected both my social and personal life. Triggering conflicts with my family and friends, these misconceptions deprived me of the support that I used to have, the support of my family and friends.
Even though the news concerning the opportunity to have rest in a popular resort was rather enticing, it brought the “wind of change” into my life, which made it undesirable and served as a stressor. Calling such nuisances “eustress”, to describe the feeling “which results from positive events that still make demands on a person to adapt or change” (433), Ciccarelli (2010) was completely right, claiming that they can cause as much harm to a man as the usual stressors.
It must be admitted that the most desirable approach of problem-focused solving that Ciccarelli (2010) suggested was applied only once. To solve the complicacies that emerged in my relationship with my mother, I decided to consider the problem in a personal conversation with my mother.
However, in the rest of the cases, I used the emotion-focused way of solving the complicacies. For instance, to get rid of the constant strain that studying caused, I resorted to meditations, since Ciccarelli (2010) mentioned that meditations can be useful when one is exhausted or overloaded with work: “Some people say that if you meditate for only 20 minutes a day, you don’t have to sleep at night” (460).
In relationships with friends, I resorted to such defense mechanisms as projection. Unfortunately, it was easier to “place one’s own unacceptable thoughts onto others, as if the thoughts belonged to them and not to oneself” (461), as Ciccarelli (2010) wisely remarked.
To tackle the problems concerning my studies, I used the method of identification, trying to associate myself with some of the world’s most successful people and “become like someone else to deal with anxiety” (Ciccarelli 2010, 461).
Speaking of the stress concerning the opportunity to have rest, I decided to refuse the resort under the pretext of doing something more useful instead, thus taking the position of rationalization – “making up acceptable excuses for unacceptable behavior” (Ciccarelli 2010, 416).
Speaking of the course that I was enrolled in, I must mention that it gave me a plethora of useful information. Although the course involved certain moments that made me feel under certain strain, the overall impression of the course is quite positive. It is worth noticing though that, introducing a lot of new material to remember, the course caused some problems since it was hard to keep in mind all the necessary terms and ideas and at the same time analyze the mechanisms of tackling stress.
However, as soon as I realized where the problem stemmed from, it was quite easy to solve it. With help of Ciccarelli’s work and her explanations of the way a man’s brain works, I managed to find out the reasons for the stress and search for ways to get rid of them. Thus, I utilized the problem-focused approach that Ciccarelli (2010) suggested and made the process of learning times easier. However, some might argue against such a position, claiming that this sort of problem can vanish on its own as time passes. Still, it seems to me that the way our problems affect us depends only on our actions. As Ciccarelli (2010) asked, “Ignore it? Nut won’t that just make matters worse?” (459)
Looking back from now on the course that I have undertaken, I can possibly say that it was one of the most significant lessons in my life. Both intriguing and providing enough food for thought, the course was a good opportunity to cognize me and the other people. However, I must admit that the course was rather demanding and complicated as well.
Thus, it would be reasonable to give some pieces of advice to those students who are going to enroll in the course. To help them avoid stressful situations and possible complicacies, I would advise them not to hesitate to ask questions when they feel that something is not clear. Since many students feel quite reluctant to show that they have misunderstood certain things concerning the subject, they might feel uncomfortable about the situation. Therefore, I would like to say that they should not fear to ask questions.
Another piece of advice that I would like to give to students is that they should learn to evaluate the information and sort it according to its importance. Since the course presupposes many new elements, the students will have to decide which piece of information is of higher importance.
In addition, I would like to say that one of the most effective and, probably, the most time-sparing means of coping with problems is laughter. As Ciccarelli (2010) says, “Using humor can also be a form of emotion-focused coping, as the old saying “laughter is the best medicine” suggests” (459).
Reference
Ciccarelli, S. (2010) Psychology, 2nd Edition. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice-Hall.