Introduction
Teenagers are most commonly referred to young adults by many people. They are young and energetic and therefore they are always exploring new ideas and new things and therefore they always end up getting into trouble. Teenagers however energetic, they still need to be under the care of their parents because they need help in knowing what is right and wrong and they also need to be guided.
Teenage years can be tough because this is where a person is going through a discovery process or discovering many things in their lives and they are always tempted to try out new things whether harmful or not. Teenagers are also full of life and passion and they have a big drive in doing new things and therefore controlling them is always hectic to people who are responsible in their lives then like their parents and teachers.
Parents therefore always have a great responsibility and task in raising teenagers in the best way possible without limiting their abilities or being too harsh on them and also without spoiling them. Parents therefore have to know what the teenagers want and try to provide it without giving them too much freedom and also without being too strict on them since teenagers who live under strict rules tend to be tempted to explore and they always end up messing up.
Thesis
This paper researches on the possibility of teenagers to cope without support from their parents. It also researches on the effects especially psychological effects of parent problems on teenagers and the effects of lack of support from parents on teenagers. It digs deep on the reasons why teenagers should not be left on their own by their parents and how they will become and behave when left alone
Relationship between parents and teenagers
The parent to teenage relationship is a very complicated one. It is very difficult to maintain and very hard to deal with. Teenagers are explorers in themselves and they always like to try new things. The relationship between parents and teenagers over the years has been very difficult deal with because both parties do not understand what the other wants.
Parents however should know how the teenage life is because they have passed through the same stage. A lot of responsibility is therefore in their hands because they know what is at stake during the teenage life and they are also mature and they should guide the teenagers. Some teenagers however are very difficult to handle because they always see themselves us mature and they always think that they know what they want.
Balter and Tamis postulate that the relationship between parents and teenagers can be improved by both of them knowing the needs of the other and trying to cater to those needs in the best way possible for example parents should know that teenagers need to be free and allowed to make some decisions for themselves and teenagers need to know that parents need them to be respectful and disciplined (Balter & Tamis 218).
With such an understanding, there will be improved communication between the two parties and therefore a healthy relationship. Parents also need to be supportive of the teenagers and try to encourage them instead of criticizing them for example the parents should support the talents and abilities of the teenagers. This will encourage the teenagers and give them a positive attitude towards life and they will try to fulfill the parent needs as well.
As much as teenagers can cope without parents, they will be psychologically disturbed with all the pressure. They are also still too young to cope with all the responsibility and they also need guidance. The relationship between teenagers and parents should therefore be strong and both parties should try and work on the betterment of the relationship because when the relationship is weak then one party probably the teenagers always tend to suffer.
Overview of parent problems
Parents go through a lot of problems throughout their lives from parenting problems to business problems, marriage problems and their own personal problems. Parent problems are always mainly caused by poor parenting skills and lack of communication. The main parent problem that may be experienced by teenagers is divorce. During divorce, teenagers go through a lot of problems like neglect from parents and lack of attention and care from the parents.
They also experience all the arguments and it affects them psychologically. Blum compares the management of divorce with that of grief in Bharati’s book and states that during divorce most teenagers are always left to be on their own and some take advantage of the lack of guidance to do whatever they want which always ends them up in trouble. (Blum 36)The divorce problem if not seriously looked into always ends up affecting the teenagers negatively.
Another parent problem is financial problems. Parents can be financially poor and therefore dealing with so many demands of the family. Financial constraints always hinder parents from providing for teenagers all their needs because there are other things which are of more priority than others.
There are also many other parent problems that affect their relationship with teenagers and this always forces teenagers to cope on their own. This is because the parents are not in a position to be of good guidance during the period of the problems and they are not reliable and therefore teenagers tend to rely on themselves. Teenagers who cope by themselves tend to harden up although some tend to make bad decisions that affect them later
How teenagers cope with parent problems
Parent problems have been known to be the cause of poor behavior in teenagers and the cause of a lot of problems that teenagers go through. There is however a contradicting view that these problems have strengthened the teenagers and enable them to fend for themselves and cope without their parents. Teenagers can either cope on their own without the help for their parents or they can break depending on the kind of upbringing that they have or the family background and the kind of experiences that they have been through.
Bloom states that experience shapes our actions and thoughts and therefore teenagers who have been through tough times can easily cope on their own as compared to teenagers who have had a smooth life. (Bloom 25)
Some teenagers can cope without their parents but they will still have a lot of struggle in coping because they are still young and the choices and decisions they make are not good. They also haven’t been exposed so much to life and they have a lot to learn. They also need guidance as much as they are coping and therefore generally teenagers still need the help of their parents so as to cope with life experiences, situations and surprises.
Overview of teenage problems
Teenage years are always full of a lot of temptations and it is where many mess ups and problems occur. Teenagers always have a lot at hand to deal with and a teenager without effective and good guidance will get into a lot of problems. Teenage problems can be caused by so many things. One of the factors is peer pressure. This is the influence from friends or mates. This is where your peers force you to engage in some activities so as to be equal to them whether you want to do it or not.
Balter and Tamis state that peer pressure always lead teenagers to engage in dangerous activities and very risky activities which lead them to problems. Another cause of teenage problems is curiosity. (Balter & Tamis 305) Most teenagers are always curious to find out and explore new things. In this process of exploration they always end up into so many problems that could have been avoided.
Media influence is also another cause of problems. Many teenagers tend to copy or imitate what they see and hear on the media because they believe that whatever is on media is what is supposed to be done. This always lead them into engaging in unworthy activities that end up affecting them negatively for example many teenagers watch pornography on the media and they go and try it out. Some of the problems that teenagers have include early pregnancies, dropping out of school and contracting deadly diseases like HIV and AIDS.
How teenagers cope with teen problems
Teenagers who have problems are always week psychologically and spiritually and therefore they always need guidance. At this time they do not think right and they are always confused and do not know what to do and therefore parents should be there to help them cope with these problems. Parents should at this time avoid criticizing them for their actions but instead encourage them and give them all the support they need.
Teenagers with problems always find it hard to cope on their own and therefore they always seek the counsel of the parents at this time. Bluestein believes that unlike parent problems where teenagers can sometimes cope on their own, teen problems cannot allow teenagers to cope on their own without the help of their parents or a mature person. (Bluestein 154)
Some teenagers are however seen to cope with teen problems without the help of their parents by taking responsibilities of their actions and accepting the consequences and trying to do what is right onwards.
Effects of lack of help from parents
Parents are supposed to help teenagers to deal with their problems and cope with their surrounding and with the consequences of their actions. As much as teenagers always try to cope on their own and act like they do not need the help of parents, they are still very young and they cannot make informed choices and decisions.
The help from parents always build a sense of confidence in the teenagers and strengthens them and they also portray a sense of care. When parents do not help the teenagers with their problems, they always feel neglected and abandoned and they are left to make decisions on their own even if the decisions are bad. Teenagers will always feel like there is so much responsibility left to them of making decisions and choices even difficult ones and most of them will be affected psychologically, socially or physically
Physical effects
These are external effects to teenagers. The physical effects are always not much because very few people are always capable of harming themselves. Some teenagers however often become violent with themselves or with people around them due to the stress they are going through and they end up hurting themselves or other people.
Social effects
Being social with people involves interacting with people and sharing affection. When a lot of problems are left in the hands of the teenagers for them to deal with, they always end up being socially deficient. This means that they end up being socially inactive and withdrawing themselves from people around them. This happens because they have so much at stake to deal with and they end up having little time to socialize and to interact with people.
Psychological effects
These are effects that are related to psychology or the mind. These are the main effects to the teenagers of lack of help from parents. Psychology of human beings is the engine of thinking and the engine that controls our thoughts and actions. When humans are psychologically affected their thinking capacity is reduced and they don’t make informed decisions because they don’t think properly. Psychological effects include depression, anxiety, anger, stress and esteem issues
Depression
There are few teenagers who get depressed every year all over the world. It is normal to get sad and low once in a while but if the sadness is prolonged and affects your life and education then that is depression. Depression is the feeling of being sad or low for a very long time. It affects someone’s thoughts and feelings.
Teenage depression is serious and should not be brushed away as being just bad moods. Depression however can be treated even though only a small percentage of teens are treated because unlike adults they cannot seek help for themselves. When parents neglect teenagers and do not help them with their problems, they feel abandoned and that there is so much at hand to deal with and they become depressed.
Catherall postulates that depression can affect the teenager’s personality and change their character towards many things.(Catherall 267) Some symptoms of depression may include sadness, withdrawal from friends and family, loss in interest in activities, changes in eating habits and loss of appetite, restlessness, lack of energy and fatigue and many more symptoms. These symptoms once detected should be treated immediately.
Depression can sometimes be mistaken with the attitude that the teenager is just being a teenager and therefore the symptoms should be taken into much consideration. Depression can affect the life of a teenager negatively like most of them withdraw from school and some even go to the extreme of having suicidal thoughts. Depression also causes a student to become violent and therefore is a threat to him or herself and also to other people who are around him like family and friends
Anxiety
This is the feeling of being uneasy and nervous. Teenagers who are left to deal with their problems are always anxious all the time. This is because they are always not sure whether they are doing the right thing or if they are handling the problems effectively. This is because they are still immature and don’t have a lot of experience in dealing with such problems.
Anxiety deters the teenager from thinking right because they are dealing with so much at stake which is above their level and too much for them to handle. Some symptoms of anxiety are that the teenager will be very nervous and look absent minded and they will not look relaxed. They will be disturbed and unsettled
Anger management problem
When teenagers are left to cope on their own and deal with their own problems, they always develop anger management problems. This is because they are going through so much with little or no guidance and therefore they get angry easily and quickly. They tend to be very sensitive to very small things and they get annoyed on very small things as well.
Anger management sometimes requires guidance and since they are left on their own, they will not know how to manage it but instead they will it out on anyone who tries to disturb especially at the time when they are trying to deal with the problems at hand. Anger management can only be done with the help of an experienced and mature person
Esteem or ego issues
This is the feeling of greatness of a person. Teenagers who don’t have guidance and help from their parents will feel neglected and abandoned and therefore they will have a low self-esteem. They will tend to see themselves as worthless as compared to other people
Effects on teenager’s life
The effects of lack of support from parents to teenagers in dealing with their problems and coping will have the following impacts on the teenager’s life can be classified as follows
Effect on education
The effects of lack of support from parents to teenagers will lead to a lot of teenagers dropping out of school because they cannot handle the psychological pressure and effects. They can therefore not think right and their level of concentration is also low hence they cannot continue with school. It also leads to poor grades because the teenager will be concentrating more on handling his or her problems than on books and hence the poor grades.
There is also poor attendance of classes because most of the time the teenager is away dealing with problems and trying to solve them. There is also lack of energy and motivation and this hinders the teenager from learning properly and concentrating on their studies and therefore poor performance in class and their general studies and even low understanding during class
Effect on social life
A teenager dealing with so many problems on his or her own at the same time with little or no guidance will have little time to mingle with people and socialize. This will therefore lead to withdrawal from people and the society. Some teenagers also always end up running away from home because of so much pressure and problems and therefore they get away to get away from the problems and try and avoid them. Teenagers always tend to be socially retarded meaning that they do not totally socialize with their peers or with their friends and families
Financial effects
Teenagers use a lot of finances in trying to solve their problems and therefore they always become financially unstable and desperate for more finance. The teenagers are therefore always driven to try and look for more finance so as to deal with their problems effectively
Effects on their work
When teenagers are going through so much pressure and depression, they always lack energy and therefore they will tend to do fewer tasks and work less. This is because they lack the drive and motivation. Their productivity is also always very low because they put very little concentration when they are performing tasks and therefore they perform poorly
Conclusion
Teenagers are believed to be a very troublesome lot and that teenage years are always tough to the teenagers and a nightmare to the parents. However much teenagers want to be independent, parents cannot leave them on their own without helping them and guiding them because they lack experience and they need psychological support from a mature person.
Teenagers therefore should receive support from their parents when dealing with their problems and when coping with life. The parents don’t have to be so involved with the activities that the teenagers engage in but they should always try to give them advice and guide them through what is right and wrong and on how to make informed decisions on matters that affect them
Works Cited
Balter, L. & Tamis, S. Child psychology: a handbook of contemporary issues. Michigan: Psychology Press. 1999. Pg. 542
Bluestein, J. Parents, teens, and boundaries: how to draw the line. Chicago: HCI. 1993. Pg 202
Blum, S. South Asian American Literature – Comparing Bharati Mukherjee’s “The Management of Grief” and Meera Nair’s “Video”. Canada: GRIN Verlag. 2008. Pg. 52
Catherall, R.B. Handbook of stress, trauma, and the family. Canada: Routledge. 2004. Pg. 567