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My Experiential Challenging Essay


Introduction

The role of decision making cannot be established clearly without undergoing serious traumatic incidences that request fast action (Myers, 2004). Primarily, most people undergo at least one such incident in their life time. Most are able to pass these experiences and identify valid solutions that allow them to continue well with their life. However, some experiences are far much sensitive to solve through imprecise measures.

Particularly, issues regarding love and life could cause serious implications in future life. For instance, infertile women experience stress and depression with or without life partners. Michie & Cahn (1997) argued that these negative implications arise because the women cannot conceive children.

Essentially, this thought has been supported considerably by other acknowledged researchers. However, life is most vital attribute that stands with or without love. This implies that love cannot exist without life but life can exist without love (Maslow, 1999).

The concept presented by Carl Rogers (1965) shows the vitality of life, consultation, and trust of personal intuition when making critical decision. It is necessary to review this theory and evaluate its application in the field. In a bid to do this, I will use my experiences to show how Carl Rogers’ theory facilitates proper decision making.

My Story

Living in a family with two children and a husband was pretty joyous until the year 2009. I was living with my 3 years old daughter and 4 years old son when I was at the age of 25.

At the time, I was staying in Sydney with my husband to complete my studies. The family was happy with much future expectation. My expectations were to complete my studies, get a good office job, and bear more children whom I can raise luxuriously without financial problems.

However, these expectations were quite void after one day when I experienced a critical incidence in the year 2009. It started with a sudden illness characterized by fatigue, bleeding and loss of consciousness. The incident called for emergency treatment which triggered my husband to seek immediate treatment.

Concise confirmatory tests, such as radiation tests, were performed to reveal a condition referred to as eccysis or ectopic pregnancy. This is a condition where the embryo implants away from the uterine cavity.

The sac that should hold the baby is usually absent leading to rapture of the uterine tube. Moreover, the pregnancy was 4 months old, which implied that the foetus size was huge to be accommodated in the tube. This posed serious complications that could have cost life of the unborn child and mine.

Fortunately, the doctors had one solution that could prevent the resulting terrible occurrences. They informed that the uterus tube could be removed to solve the problem. However, I had lost the other uterine tube during a previous surgery. Removing the remaining uterine tube implied that natural birth was no longer possible.

Essentially, my culture and society acknowledges children as the core to strength and pride. In fact, people with two children are less recognised and respected in my culture. On the other hand, the stresses were amplified by the doubling fatigue on daily basis and loss of blood. Doctors advised that the operation would rather be carried out sooner than later to secure my life.

The closest person to consult about the approval of the operation was my husband. The other relatives living in Saudi Arabia could only help through voice calls that were inefficient. However, I made the necessary enquires from everyone concerned and approved the operation. After all, I had a chance to raise my kids. This sense kept on driving me hopeful every time I thought of approving the operations.

The operation was conducted successfully where the tube and the pregnancy were removed. However, the operation did not take much time as the healing. I felt that the doctors could have had another way to retain me fertile. I don’t remember thinking about anything much more than I did about the lost future life expectations. It was the only thing I was working for in my life.

Even after healing, the pain still continued until one and a half years passed. At this time, I had lost more than 20 kilograms of my body weight due to poor appetite. However, I continued with my life for another year before another complication arose.

In the years 2011, tests showed that there was a tumour in my uterus. The tumour could be treated through removing a half part of the uterus. However, this incident was not much demanding as the previous one.

Probably, I was experienced and mature during this incident. It was just two years from the previous pregnancy complication but the response depicted satisfaction and patience.

After finishing my studies, I dedicated my life to the two children and a maternity where I work happily to fulfil my desires to others. Today, I am thirty years old with two kids aged between 8 and 9. I enjoy life knowing that I was given the share I deserved.

Personal Awareness

How could life be so unfair? Why am I the person subjected to these terrible incidences? What did I do to deserve this? Psychologically, most things are the way people’s minds make them to be. Cacioppo and Freberg (2013) emphasised this by indicating that we make things what they are today.

According to his argument, a metal cannot be a ‘metal’ if people did not recognize it as metal. For instance, a stone will comprise of 5 elements if man has identified that they are the sole elements in the stone. What if there was an element that is exclusive to human ways of identification? Essentially, most people think that there exist a way out of their mystery.

Research indicates that when decisions are made about dilemmas, most people tend to regret their decisions without knowing the outcomes of the alternative decision (Michie & Cahn, 1997). People assume that the alternate decision could have been more effective than the chosen one.

Even in situation where there are no alternative solutions, some think that someone could discover a solution for their case. In my case, I thought that a doctor could come out to identify a way out of the mystery. It started with doubting the professionalism of the doctors who were to treat me. In fact, I had asked my husband to request a transfer to another hospital that could avoid removal of the uterus.

However, he seemed to understand the loss more than I did. He cared much about my life rather than the ability to give birth. He convinced me to accept the operation that I had declined flatly. After the operation, I still thought that it was not the right decision to make. I thought there were chances of living as a fertile woman.

The second challenge was not astonishing or overwhelming. I felt to carry out the operation and remove the disturbing problem at once. Apart from telling the relatives that I was undertaking a serious operation, I did not request any guidance or advice. I would say that there was no fear. Probably, I was tired of the problems and the failure to appreciate my children.

Otherwise, I had experience in the previous complication that boosted my confidence during the second incident. Moreover, I had been subjected to enough cultural ridicule in a way that I got used to the society. Also, I was not a person to seek consultation at that time. I felt in charge because I was alone and confident with the decisions that I made.

Theory

In 1967, Carl Rogers presented a theory referred to as ‘the fully functioning person’. The theory argues that a person undergoes continuous physiological and psychological changes. These changes account for the responsiveness to experiences. Rogers’ argument dictated that the person develops openness, matures, and makes adjustments in their environment.

A person becomes accessible and allows feelings to mould an experienced individual. Additionally, the subject experiences fear, measures of ridicule, physiological pain, courage, and tenderness among others (Rogers, 1967). Each incidence arises as a lesson from a prevailing occurrence. For instance, experiences of fear could initiate the establishment of courage during another encounter.

This theory postulated that experiences lead to personal awareness where a person identifies feelings before their exposure to other people. Rogers (1967) acknowledged that a person can learn to identify these feelings after the first encounter.

Therefore, the first encounter should be open to facilitate a full experience of the incident. The theory identified that the best concept involves retrieving solutions from experiences instead of twisting experience to fit into personal characters.

Consequently, a person initiates strategies to solve a problem rather than accepting the nature of the experience. Furthermore, Rogers pointed out the necessity of allowing the first experience without avoiding it due to awareness. He believed that the experience could lead to establishment of standard solutions in regard to the psychological problem.

These experiences create confidence and courage to make concrete decisions. Rogers indicated that a person should trust his or her ability to make the right decisions. Avoiding doubts after making a decision allows a person to boost personal confidence.

This confidence elevates the desire to protect the decisions made without shifting to other possible solutions. The attributes of this theory lay a basic argument for the case described in the story section.

For instance, removal of the uterine tube was an incidence that boosted my confidence when deciding to remove the uterus during the second case. The section involving development of strategies to boost confidence through experiences could be applied in my case.

Also, the theory could mould my reactions in regard to various issues during the experience. Openness will be seen at the initial stages of gaining experiences. At this point, discouragements, ridicule, and fear among other factors will be presentable in relation to the story.

In addition, the section about openness to feelings will be evaluated from the case. Finally, there will be a review about trust of the decision made.

Rogers depicted a person as the centre of a good life. He stated that this life comprises of many implications termed the food for thought. This implied that the mind has to be triggered to perform an operation.

For instance, a person could experience something to facilitate thinking. When we face challenges, we tend gather for solutions in fast way. These fast solutions serve for sometime before a permanent solution is decided for the case. In other cases, people become creative in respect to an incident.

They establish strategies to solve the problem through creativity. Another way involves trusting people who serve. Essentially, Rogers indicated that most people lack the most vital element of human nature. Trust is an element that should be protected to facilitate mutual understanding between the interacting individuals.

People who are untrustworthy to each other fail to proceed due the element of doubt (Neville, 1989). These factors were established by Rogers (1967) to guide people in decision making process. Their application could lead to appropriate decisions that end up being very productive.

This theory was approves by other therapist who identified the roles of the key points in decision making. However, other, theories have been introduced to facilitate decision making. These theories do not fit to the incident presented in the previous paragraph.

Theory Application to the Incident

Mental development is reliant the age of an individual. As a person ages from childhood to adulthood, there are stages of mental developments and facilitates clear thinking and proper decision making. Consequently, it could be established that a person is able to make better decision at an older age than a tender age.

This could be attributed to the incidences experienced by the individuals. For instance, I had no experience about the difficult faced in regard to health issues implicating the fertility of a person. However, this was until I made a decision to remove the uterine tube. At the age of 27, I had gained the experience and confidence to deal with such issues.

Losing the ability to bear children though pregnancy was tougher than being infertile. However, the critically of the second incidence was more fierce than the first incident. Why was the tougher situation easier to handle than the other situation? Rogers’ theory provides answers for this question. First, the initial complication met a person who was not experienced.

It met a person with high life expectations about bearing many children and raising them properly. Berne (1975) stipulated that an abrupt change of events is humiliating and discouraging to people with high future expectations.

The discouragement and humiliation arising from the first complication could not be accommodated. After suffering during this incident, the following occurrences met me ready for the decision. This behaviour was parallel to Rogers’ argument suggesting that experiences boost the character of a person when solving problems (Stewart, 1996).

Secondly, I had attained two more years that improved my thinking capacity. I was used to the cultural ridicule and rejection in regard to few children. However, I cannot omit to point out that I had remained into the image of self instead of using the experiences to solve the problems faced.

For instance, I accepted ridicule from the society because there was no way to emerge. I allowed the experience to operate over me in an open manner. This allowed a full contact with the experiences to enhance efficacy in case of another incident.

The decision that I made during the first complication involved consultants and cancelling of other decisions. For instance, I had decided to remove the foetus and retain the uterine tube which could have risked my life. However, the firmness to this decision was not solid.

In fact, I did not trust the final decision about taking the operation. Long after the operation was successful, I still thought that I had lost an opportunity to bear children because of taking a wrong choice. Rogers (1967) informed that a person should trust his/her intuition.

This lack of trust led to depression and low rate of healing the surgical wounds. However, the healing was quite abrupt during the treatment of tumour. Probably, this fast treatment and healing were attributed to the trust of personal judgement (Egan, 1994).

Theory Application to the Responses

Rogers (1967) believed that a first time expression is a lesson for the second expression. Consequently, the feelings that I had felt when removing the tube taught about my weaknesses. I realized that I heard to evaluate all issues concretely before making any conclusions.

For instance, the decision that I had made initially on this incident could have led to death. Also, I noted the need to seek guidance and trust the final decision made. This trust could have allowed fast healing due to satisfaction, good appetite and no depression.

I was able to identify the loss I had made during the tumour incident and acknowledge the children I had received. They gave some hope and reasons to live in the moment. The essence to appreciate life has been acknowledged through this section where life had to be saved.

If the operation was not undertaken in a timely manner, it could have resulted to death. Speed was a vital element to be considered during this treatment. Rogers dictated that identifying the available chances and utilising them to live in the moment was critical.

Life was not only vital to me, but also to the young children waiting for their mother to return home successfully. Essentially, it was important to think about serving what has been provided to us. Probably, we should just serve what we possess and forget about what we expect.

Rogers (1965) pointed out that we should avoid high expectations and plans for the things that we do not own. After all, they do not belong to us until they are given for possession. Implications keep showing up in the road that humans walk. Even though we could remain alert of the fortunate ending, it should not be assumed that the outcomes are guaranteed. Otherwise, feeling of pettiness, sympathy, and humiliation will remain behind the actions we undertake.

Own Meaning

I am a strong and experienced person with the confidence to engage in helpful activities. I was created a special person to raise two children and serve in the maternity. My experiences were strategies to modify my life into becoming what I am today.

I am alone, happy, and appreciate my present health and gift of life. Since I cannot tell what will happen tomorrow, I live my life to the fullest. Spend all the time I can with my children. In addition, I serve pregnant women and allow them to give secure birth.

Even though this work reminds me about my incidences, I feel happy after releasing a mother with her new born baby from the maternity. My goals will not deviate from the expectation that I had during my twenty fifth year.

I am motivated to direct pregnant women about the losses associated with eccysis and other birth complication. Moreover, I have been performing advanced pregnancy studies to enhance my charity works that could secure most women from pregnancy complications.

Also, I have stated various groups to teach the society about family planning and accepting people who cannot have children. Surprisingly, it has showed that most people belonging to my culture embrace these family planning strategies and disregard the baseless cultural believes. I could state that my creation was unique and with a purpose.

Own Making

Probably, this incident was an unfortunate occurrence that came to destroy my expectations. How woeful would this be? In this case, my life way tarnished and goal deteriorated. The unfortunate incident prevented me from retaining my husband and getting other children.

A lot of money was lost to the surgeries that I encountered. What had I done deserve this? Why could I not live like other people? The most annoying thing is that all way to bear children were taken instantly. However, I cannot assume that my mother had developed a similar complication.

Probably, this is a family issue that passes through inheritance. If this implantation was realised during its initial stages, precautionary methods could have been applied to secure my fertility. Efficient strategies should be developed to facilitate identification of such issues in a timely manner.

Finally, there could be another making involving the removal of the first uterine tube. It could be possible that the doctor interfered with the functionality of the second tube. Otherwise, there are chances that the decision made during the removal of the first uterine tube was inaccurate or unnecessary.

Incident Awareness

Lack of satisfaction is the most annoying factor in this incident. I could try to sue investigate about all the treatment I had undergone. These could include family planning methods, medical treatment and surgeries. However, these actions could demand more funds and produce nothing at the end.

Therefore, I decided to accept the fate because none of the strategies could make me fertile. In essence, money is not important to me than my expectations. Satisfaction was fundamental for this case because most doctors did their best to save my life.

Doubting their work would mean that I do not trust their treatment. Essentially, doctors should be the very lenient because they deal with people’s life. They are the only individuals trusted holistically by common people.

People allow doctors to inject them with drugs without evaluating whether the drug is harmful. Moreover, they allow body inspection and take prescribed drugs without asking questions.

This incident made me to lose many things that I cannot afford to forget in future. However, holding to the incident could only cause harm to my children. Therefore, I have remained joyous to keep the family happy and expectant.

I usually visit the hospital for check up to ensure that there are no developing problems in my uterus. I feel satisfied about my status and appreciate my life. I have attained many strategies to deal with traumatic conditions due to experiences.

These experiences have been retrieved from exposure to the incident and living in a family without a husband. I am aware about my infertility and the drugs i should take in some instance.

Conclusion

Decision making is vital in daily human life (Clarkson, 1992). Human beings cannot live without being able make decisions in the life.

Most life issues require a person to enquire and gather information to decide the best route to follow. Otherwise, if critical and appropriate decisions are not made in a timely manner, the recursions could be dire and tough to accommodate.

This paper has used the theory of Rogers to how theories should be applied to give solutions. Therapists have identified many theories about decision making. These theories have assisted the universe in developing toward presiding vital solutions in real life issues.

We make decisions when subjected to issues requiring divided interests (Kegan, 1994). These theories help to make solutions for problems that have not been solve in life. The end product incorporates solutions to life issues and problems.

The theory of Rogers has shown vivid strategies applicable when making the right decisions. It allowed acknowledgement of human life and it value to the fullest.

Consequently, we could conclude that the theory assisted in showing how life should be secured by the available means. Furthermore, the essay showed that love cannot live without people. The essay has, therefore, performed a comprehensive analysis of the theory in relation to incident about child birth.

References

Berne, E. (1961). Transactional analysis in psychotherapy: a systematic individual and social psychiatry. New York: Grove Press.

Cacioppo, J., & Freberg, L. (2013). Discovering psychology: the science of mind. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth Cengage Wadsworth.

Rogers, C. (1965). Client Centred Therapy (New Ed). New York: Constable & Robinson.

Clarkson, P. (1992). Transactional analysis psychotherapy: an integrated approach. London: Routledge.

Egan, G. (1994). The skilled helper. New York: Wadsworth.

Kegan, R. (1994). In over our heads: the mental demands of modern life. Cambridge, Mass.: Harvard University Press.

Maslow, A. (1999). Toward a psychology of being (3rd ed.). New York: J. Wiley & Sons.

Michie, H., & Cahn, N. (1997). Confinements fertility and infertility in contemporary culture. New Brunswick, N.J.: Rutgers University Press.

Myers, D. (2004). Psychology (7th ed.). New York: Worth Publishers.

Neville, B. (1989). Educating Psyche: emotion, imagination, and the unconscious in learning. Melbourne: Collins Dove.

Rogers, C. (1967). On becoming a person: a therapist’s view of psychotherapy. London: Constable.

Stewart, I. (1996). Developing transactional analysis counselling. London: Sage Publications.

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