Introduction
Communication with family members is always a unique opportunity to strengthen an understanding of local traditions, history, and lifestyle changes. This time, I choose parenting as a topic for research. My grandmother, Aisha, is a 60-year-old woman who has witnessed the changes that happened within a half of a century. Being born in 1960, she got married at the age of 18 to a man with whom she has seven children (five boys and two girls).
Although my grandma did not go to school, I have always thought that she knew everything. Some people think that nowadays, a big family can’t live in one house where respect and memories play a crucial role. My family is one of those that cherish close relationships and real communication. This interview describes the peculiarities of parenting, with special attention to discipline and technology through the prism of several decades.
Interview Aspects
To develop an informative communication with my grandmother, I tried to think about the most important aspects of parenting today and compare them with those observed several decades ago. I was wondering about her understanding of the roles of mothers and fathers in a family and society, as well as the changes modern parenting undergoes. In addition to the most rewarding and challenging issues, I focused on the contributions made due to technologies and the decisions of parents to control their children or give them freedom.
Roles of Parents
Nowadays, free choices and democracy are the critical elements in human relationships that also shape family rules and traditions. Despite the existing varieties and preferences, many modern psychologists and researchers identify similar parents’ responsibilities, including ensuring the child’s health, promoting emotional well-being, developing social skills, and preparing for life intellectually and culturally (Parenting, n.d.). In the UAE, specific child custody laws exist to explain the duties of parents, depending on gender. For example, there is a guardian (who makes important financial decisions about the child, education, and other affairs) and a custodian (who is concerned with the child’s everyday life) (Elhais, n.d.).
Regarding the experience of my grandmother, parenting depends on the relationships between a woman and a man, which is characterized by significant changes. Several decades ago, the UAE women were not able to get an education but had to complete housekeeping functions, raise children, and maintain male comfort. Therefore, the role of a mother in the child’s life was extremely important in terms of shaping cultural values, understanding family traditions, and distributing social norms. Fathers, in their turn, work hard to provide a family with a stable financial future.
Changes in Parenting
The development of family relationships is a choice a man and a woman have to make. However, a number of social and global changes cannot be ignored. For example, in the 1980s, a woman could not get an education due to the lack of specific facilities or the unwillingness of families to create such opportunities. Young ladies had nothing to do but to focus on their parenting duties and spend their days the way a husband wanted it to be. When Arab women got access to education, the first changes in parenting occurred. Nowadays, it is normal to outsource parenting duties and hire people to help moms from other countries.
The role of fathers has also changed because modern Arab children are aware of Father’s Day and ready to celebrate it in their families (Clarke, 2018). In my grandmother’s opinion, this decade might become one of the most successful in terms of parenting because a child can communicate either with a mother or with a father on equal terms. Instead of being raised by a mother only, a child is free to choose between female and male spheres of interest.
Worth of Discipline
At the same time, as well as many Arab women under 50, my grandmother admits that current changes influence some rewarding aspects of being a parent among mothers. In the 1980s and the 1990s, women were able to spend as much time as they wanted (or even more) with their children. They observed the child’s growth, development, and the way of how this work was perceived by a boy or a girl. Mothers helped to understand the basic social norms and learn the law.
With time, they enjoyed the results due to their husbands’ compliments. When I asked my grandmother about her personal rewards of motherhood, she straightened her shoulder and offered to look at my parents and understand their worth. Her responsibility was to raise a good person, with a perfect attitude toward other people. She did succeed in her task in terms of either discipline, or communication, or respect.
At the same time, today, my grandmother shares some concerns about the worth of discipline modern parents prefer. In their intention to educate and get well-paid jobs, many young mothers fail to explain to their children why discipline is a significant issue in human relationships. Many children spend their free time outside (unless weather conditions are not too dangerous for their health) under the control of their maids.
Mothers, in their turn, have to make sure they look good (or even perfect), are in fashion trends, and maintain a healthy lifestyle. Although the basics of discipline are taken into consideration, new aspects of freedom and choice for women change parenting. It is hard for a 60-year-old woman to identify all pros and cons of disciplinary concerns, but until her grandchildren and children demonstrate their respect to adults, traditions, and culture, everything seems to be normal in society.
Technology in Parenting
Trying to discover why parenting changes occur, my grandmother and I paid close attention to the role of technologies. Several decades ago, people knew nothing or a little about the Internet, computers, and mobile phones. The exchange of information was limited, and people addressed books or buy magazines to read the latest news or find a piece of advice. When a mother had to deal with a sick child, she made an independent (or in collaboration with her husband) decision to visit a hospital and ask for professional help. Nowadays, the Internet turns out to be a primary source of information in many situations.
It becomes easy for a person to search for an answer online instead of focusing on personal knowledge. That is why my grandmother is worried about modern children’s inability to live without such technologies and trust their basic instincts.
In fact, technologies have a positive and negative impact on modern parenting. On the one hand, it is possible to use GPS and be aware of the child’s location. On the other hand, such distant communication devices like phones or netbooks deprive people of real cooperation. Instead of visiting a grandmother and spending a couple of hours together, young people find it normal to call via Skype or similar programs and talk (despite the fact that it could take several minutes to reach a person physically).
On the other hand, the process of globalization and the development of international relationships provide new business opportunities and make people visit new countries and spend much time outside their homes. Therefore, similar devices that cause concerns could become helpful in reaching families distantly anytime a person wants.
Conclusion
In general, the findings of the interview with my grandmother contribute to several important discoveries about parenting changes throughout the decades. The shift between the interests of people in the 20th and the 21st century cannot be ignored, especially in the UAE. In this country, people demonstrate fast and impressive changes in social relationships, cultures, traditions, and legal norms. Several decades ago, gender inequality challenged women in their desire to get a higher education and develop their skills in the preferred spheres of interest. Therefore, the role of a mother was integral as it was the only direct responsibility of a woman in the 1980s-1990s.
The role of a father was minimal in a family, making men the main financial sources and controlling bodies. Today, Arab children are eager to celebrate Father’s Day and enjoy their family relationships. From this interview, I have learned about the rewarding aspects of parenting and the importance of discipline in parenting. I cannot deprive the impact of technologies on my life, but this communication shows that it is our personal choice of how to choose them not at the expense of family relationships.
References
Clarke, K. (2018). New generation of dad: We never celebrated father’s day like this. Khaleej Times. Web.
Elhais, H. (n.d.). Child custody laws in the UAE. HG Legal Resources. Web.
Parenting. (n.d.). Psychology Today. Web.