Traditionally, the role of raising children was the mothers’. Therefore, it is often considered that women are better parents than men. However, today, circumstances have changed, and both the father and mother are responsible for bringing up the children. There is a stronger bond between a mother and child from birth. The relationship that a mother forms with the child during pregnancy is evident even after the child is born. Mothers will do everything to make sure their children are alright. This is unlike the fathers who always act aloof. This is an argumentative essay that aims to prove that mothers are better parents than fathers.
“A Mother is Better than a Father” – Gender Inequality in Parenting
Mostly, fathers appear to have a weak bond with the children. Fathers are detached from their children and can quickly desert them, while women can not. One of the reasons why fathers seem less committed to their children is because most fathers are not sure about the paternity of the child. For mothers, there can never be such doubts. However, the father cannot be sure that the child is his, and this is the gender difference. Therefore, he is reluctant to support and spend his resources on a child that could be another man’s (Kazanawa par 4).
Another reason for the lack of a strong bond between a father and the children is because men have a more significant potential to have more children than women. The men can get children throughout their lives while this is not possible for women after menopause.
Therefore, the men are not so attached to their children because even if they lose them, they can always have some more. That is why the majority of men can abandon their wives and children and move on to start another family. (Kazanawa par 7). Fathers may be considered biologically inferior parents. This discussion aims to prove that women are better at parenting than men.
Reasons Why Mothers Are Better Parents than Fathers
Many communities assign the role of caring for children to the mother while the father is expected to provide for the family and instill discipline in children.
The father is thus distanced from the children because they fear him as they view him as a disciplinarian. Today, there are no distinct roles expected of either the father or mother. In most homes, both the father and mother share the responsibility of providing for the family.
There are also many homes with one parent because of divorce or the death of one parent. The role of upbringing their children should be shared between the mother and the father since both of them go to work. However, fathers do not participate much in raising their children.
Mothers spend more time with their children and, therefore, the children form a better connection with them. A hormone called oxytocin enables the mother to bond better with the child than the father. It allows the child to feel secure as long as he/she is with the mother. When the mother leaves, the child gets upset and cries but is happy again when she returns.
This is the reaction of the hormone. It makes the child know that the mother will always be there and will never let him/ her down (Kuchinskas 31). From birth, the mothers spend more time caring for the child. At this stage, the child needs a lot of attention and specialized care, and the mother is the one best suited to do that.
The father only comes in when the baby is older. Therefore, women are better parents than men. Opponents of this position may argue that fathers are better at parenting since they provide financial support. However, active involvement in a child’s life is the most important kind of support in family for children when they are growing up because it shapes their psychological development. Therefore, there should be no differences between female and male parenting.
Both parents need to be aggressively involved in the nurturing of the child. In any case, even mothers are in employment, and both parents share the responsibility of providing for the family. Therefore, men cannot excuse themselves from the role of nurturing the child based on providing financial support as their role is of great importance.
Impact on Child’s Emotional State
Mothers are more emotional than men. They are more sympathetic and understanding of their children whenever they are in trouble (Weiten, Dunn and Hammer 344). A mother may even defend her children when their father is angry and wants to punish them. Children, therefore, see the mother as a source of comfort and protection and will seek help from her whenever they need something.
They will invariably run to her when they experience problems. The father is less emotional and less likely to sympathize with the children. Therefore, they will not feel free to share their issues with him. The children tend to love the mother more than the father. One might object here that being very emotional and soft on the children might spoil them and make them unprepared for life’s challenges.
One might argue that men are not overprotective and are rough with the children, and therefore, they teach them to be courageous and go-getters in life. They believe that softly treating the children will make them cowards and reluctant to deal with tough situations in the future.
However, the way men treat children may have a detrimental effect on them. This is because treating children harshly and aggressively may affect them emotionally, and this may impact on their future lives as adults. Research reveals that children’s upbringing affects how they relate with others in the future, how they perform in school, and the way they handle challenges. Children who experience violent treatment are impoverished at socializing with others (Attili, Vermigli and Roazzi 24).
Women have better rearing skills than men because that is what they grow up practicing. The parents assign their daughters the roles that involve caring and nurturing. Therefore, by the time they become adults, they have perfected these skills. As they grow up, girls will engage in motherly activities like caring for their dolls or younger siblings.
Boys, on the other hand, are not concerned with such roles. They are interested in rough games and machines, and these do not prepare them to nurture their children. As a result, they grow up without a clue about how to raise their children.
Furthermore, women tend to be gentler than men. They treat the children well while the men are rough and sometimes violent (Weiten, Dunn and Hammer 343). Raising children is a task that requires a lot of patience, gentleness, and tenderness. Women can withstand irritating situations like the constant crying and nagging of a baby. As such, many people believe that women make better parents than men.
Men do not possess such traits and will quickly get angry and impatient with the child. They might even be tempted to yell or hit the children. A child at this stage requires to be taken care of by someone with the right qualities.
Communication Shouldn’t Be Neglected
Communication aspect should also be reviewed to answer the question “Are women better parents than men?” Women also have better communication skills than men (Weiten, Dunn and Hammer 344). As they grow up, children need to be listened to and understood. They also need to be advised and reproached. Women can achieve this through proper communication with the children.
Lack of communication between the children and the parents can lead to children looking for answers from other sources, like the peers and the media, which can be misleading (Kanazawa 2008). Mothers will, therefore, be seen as better parents because the children will always prefer to share their problems and concerns with them than with their fathers. Men are less expressive than women and this is another point why mothers are better parents.
Another reason why women are better parents is that they are more conscious and conscientious to the needs of their children than men. When babies cry, the mothers’ maternal instincts will enable them to know what they need. It is not easy for a father to understand what a crying baby needs.
A young baby needs to be understood and attended to accordingly. This makes the women better parents than the men (Frodi, Lamb, Leavitt and Donovan 190). Critics of this position may argue that fathers are good parents because they will be involved in caring for their children later when they grow older and no longer need so much attention. However, the father needs to be actively engaged in raising the child from birth because his involvement is most critical when the child is young.
Women are more sympathetic and softhearted than men (Costello par 6). Sometimes children go through experiences that require the parents to be compassionate and comforting to them. Mothers are perfect at this, while fathers are not willing to show emotion as it might be seen as a sign of weakness.
Fathers want to be perceived by their children as severe and in control. Most of them will always admonish their children. This alienates many fathers from their children as they will always choose to share their concerns with the mother. Of course, the father needs to appear tough so that the children can be well-disciplined, but overdoing it might scare them and negatively affect their relationship.
Do Women Make Better Parents than Men?
From the above discussion, it is clear that women play a more significant role than men in bringing up children. There are several reasons why mothers are more important than fathers in the family. They provide the right environment for the healthy upbringing of a child. They do this by actively participating in nurturing the child since birth. Carrying a child through pregnancy establishes a powerful bond between the mother and the child.
Mothers also provide comfort and sympathy, which is critical in a child’s psychological development. Moreover, women are sensitive and understanding of the needs of the children more than men. On top of that, women are excellent communicators and will always lend an ear to their children’s concerns.
They are also more sympathetic and less aggressive towards the children than the men. Above all, women have maternal instincts, which always make them look out for their children’s safety. These qualities make most of the children to be more attached to their mothers than their fathers. Therefore, women are better parents than men.
Works Cited
Attili, Grazia, Patrizia Vermigli, and Antonio Roazzi. Children’s Social Competence, Peer Status, and the Quality of Mother-Child and Father-Child Relationships: A Multidimensional Scaling Approach. European Psychologist 15.1 (2010): 23-33. Web.
Costello, Victoria. Daddy and Baby: The Science of New Fatherhood. 2011. Web.
Frodi, Ann, Michael Lamb, Lewis Leavitt, and Donovan Wilberta. Fathers’ and mothers’ responses to infant smiles and cries. Infant Behavior and Development 1 (1978): 187-198.
Kanazawa, Satoshi. Why are mothers better parents than fathers?. 2008. Web.
Kuchinskas, Susan. The Chemistry of Connection: How the Oxytocin Response Can Help You Find Trust, Intimacy, and Love. USA: New Harbinger Publications, 2009.
Weiten, Wayne, Dunn, Dana S., and Elizabeth Hammer Yost. Psychology Applied to Modern Life: Adjustment in the 21st Century. USA: Cengage Learning, 2011. Web.