Introduction
Self esteem refers to an individual’s by and large valuation of his or her own significance. It includes convictions and feelings such as achievement, hopelessness, satisfaction and indignity. Self esteem is wide-reaching as it can refer to a distinctive aspect or can have a comprehensive coverage (Grose 1).
An individual’s self esteem commences its development for the better or worse from the early stages of life. It is all about the kind of environment and upbringing that one goes through that determines their self esteem level. The manner in which a parent/guardian communicates with their child and the parent’s self image are all contributing factors to the child’s self esteem. For that reason, it is imperative that parents, guardians and teachers make certain that children are raised in a manner that boosts the development of their self worth.
By the age of three years, though normally considered to be yet tender, a child has gone through quite an extensive array of emotions and is a psychologically complex individual (Grose 1). The importance of careful and psychologically sound upbringing cannot, thus, be overemphasized if parents and other caregivers aim to raise persons who will be able to develop and maintain good relations with other people and also have the capability to effectively be in charge of their emotions.
Child learning and development experts advise that the psychological development of a child should be recognized and promoted at home and in the early learning environments like childcare schools and pre-units (Reese, Bird and Tripp, 461).
Raising a child with high self esteem
Parents, teachers and other caregivers need to lay emphasis on children’s psychological progress, the form of development that bears both physiological and psychological result of perception and learning and reasoning aspects which affect behavior (Weiner 16). These feelings should be certainly emphasized to enhance a high self esteem right through the child’s life.
The kind of reactions that a child receives from their earliest caretakers has a huge impact on how the child will be able to go about their sentiments and feelings later on in their life.
A child having a safe and sound relationship with their mother and/or other caregiver(s) will be able to easily establish constructive relations and react positively to instigations with other people (Henderson 118). On the other hand, a child who has a relation with their caregiver that lacks self-confidence or assurance will exhibit more downbeat and pessimistic sentiments while interrelating with others.
A very important point to note is that in young children, self esteem is not gauged by their personality significance, but by how intimately the loved ones in their lives deference and take action to their specific needs. For instance, children who lack someone or some people worthy of imitation or those who lack parental prop up have a propensity to having an inferior self esteem since the general feeling is that these grown persons do not acknowledge or get concerned about them.
This is the key element which children base their self esteem height in the course of their early days and then into their later life (Henderson 118). A good illustration of this is can be observed early on in babyhood growth of children who act in response and connect themselves to the adults or caregivers who show utmost love and care and are in charge of them.
Parents and other caregivers of children need to establish a sense of connectedness by use of loving physical touch and words as the first step. These develop a sense of belonging and security. The child is assures that there is someone or there are a people who really care about them and thus their self esteem is boosted (Vallee 1).
Early childhood development specialists advise that the fastest and effective means to quiet and calm a crying baby is by cuddling together while lightly stroking him or her. Such strokes have a remarkable power to show love and care. When an infant calms after this has been done to him or her, the indication is that he or she is acting in response to the caregiver who is without a doubt trusted (Vallee 1). This goes a long way in laying the foundation for the child’s prospective confidence and self worth.
As much as everyone wants to bring up responsible and reliable kids, there needs to be a considerable allowance for making mistakes. It is appropriate and a positive contribution to a child’s self esteem when adults own up that they make slip-ups. It is more effective when they go ahead and talk about the existence of mistakes and blunders (Henderson 119). In doing this, they ensure that the psychological growth of the child is enhanced since the fear of attempting new things is dispelled. This is a big positive in terms of creativity and innovativeness.
It is suggested that adults ask children their take on the most suitable actions to take whenever people commit mistakes or offences. Such sessions offer perfect opportunities for getting the take of the young ones on various issues and teaching them what is the best way of going about life. It also increases their feeling of self worth as they feel they are part and parcel of a family, classroom or school set up.
They get to appreciate that mistakes are part of the larger learning process, and that they are not experiences to be beaten by. Otherwise, they will be left feeling powerless and vulnerable (Grose 1). A majority of them end up turning into class comics, oppressors, gloomy, drug abusers, and other forms of self-destruct behavior. The mentality that nothing constructive can come out of one no matter what they do is responsible for this.
Children need to be made to feel that they are making a contribution to their family, classroom, and church, among others. Self esteem grows from feeling valued and worthy. For that reason, these developing people need to be offered ways in which they can make their contributions of whatever form.
Everyone has got at least an area or competency and if this can be discovered so that it is exploited then the better (Grose 1). For instance, an example is given of a little boy who instead of going to school spent his time in the bushes. When interrogated innocently to find out what he really liked, he revealed that he would rather be at home caring for his pet dog.
After this, the school head attracted him to take care of the school’s pet rabbit. With this, he looked forward to going to school every day since he had been offered to do what he enjoyed most and above all he felt that he had a contribution to make at school. Children who exhibit a likeness for various activities and duties need to be given chances to do that albeit in small or unsatisfactory levels to boost their self confidence.
Giving a choice is such an important self esteem development tool that it should be employed always. Almost all things or activities can be made to be in the form of alternatives. For instance, if you give a child the alternatives of writing using either green or red ink they are going to write more than if they were just told to write.
Giving choices or options helps build up logic of possession and accountability than situations whereby other individuals at all times make a decision on what you are to do, when and the manner in which you will do it (Vallee 1). Allowing children make choices gives them the opportunity to try out, make gaffes and gain knowledge in nonthreatening states of affairs.
Adults need to watch the language that they use around children. These young ones are not impervious to the inappropriate language that a substantive amount of people use. For example, children as young as five years old have been heard asking whether they are fat or not. One would expect that at this tender age they should not be having such thought in their minds. All this has resulted from what they hear and see in the mass media and what those around them are always talking about (Reese, Bird and Tripp, 463).
To avoid such negative thoughts in children there is need to always watch one’s language when in their presence. Whatever that they are exposed to through the mass media needs to be controlled and regulated. Whenever they come up with such enquiries, one should try to find out where they got or heard that from so that such incidents can be controlled and avoided. Whenever describing people one needs to stick to personality and character rather than appearance.
Praising children boosts their self esteem. However, it should be done whenever deserved and care should be taken not to overdo it. Continuous praising eventually results in them soon or later ignoring these praises as false and thus a negative effect on their self esteem. It is important that challenging and giving confidence to children to take risks should come in between.
Children need to be taught fine societal and conversational techniques by means of mock ups, direct coaching and directed performances. All these are vital skills in ensuring self esteem and boosting the way in which they will interact with other people in society (Grose 1).
Another vital self esteem developer in children is talking about the kin stories, ancestors, customs, and nationality in an affirmative and constructive manner. Parents, other caregivers and children should begin to talk about past occurrences almost as soon as the children language capabilities allow it (Weiner 16). Past event discussions should be presented as positively as possible, in a more detailed manner. Children undergoing such narratives end up with enhanced autobiographical recollection. Such events also make certain that children’s oral and non-verbal remembrance is enhanced.
Children need to be taught to set minor and main goals or objectives in a bid to assist them develop into responsible persons. They should be made to understand matters according to priority and thus enhance their planning and management skills (Henderson 120). They should be able to prioritize effectively so that they are in control of matters affecting their lives and thus hold high self esteem.
All caregivers need to build up the intellect of distinctiveness in their children. The reason for this is due to the simple fact that every person has a unique talent or gift which needs to be enhanced for him or her to attain his or her full potential. Whenever one’s uniqueness is enhanced in a constructive way then their self worth gets a boost.
All that is needed is to find occasions where this can be done. For example, if a child has shown a liking for drawing and/or painting, place drawing materials and tools within their reach and you can be sure that at one time or another they will get hold of these and draw or paint or both (Grose 1). Once you come across whatever that they have done be sure to commend and appreciate their work. This will boost their morale and self worth and they will seek to improve their skill even further.
Conclusion
Self development is usually a superior obligation as compared to self sacrifice. Having a first-rate self worth or mind set about oneself can describe self esteem (Grose 1). Children with a high self esteem always feel that the significant adults in their lives acknowledge and appreciate them and would go to whatever extent to make certain that they are out of harm’s way.
A child’s self esteem is not a thing to do with genetics; it is founded and developed with the help of parents and all the caregivers that the child comes across in the course of his or her development (Reese, Bird and Tripp, 467). Quite a substantial amount of time, commitment and affirmative back up is required for an effective development.
These and the aforementioned prerequisites for the development of self esteem in children may or may not work depending on the specific conditions in which the child is. It is thus of essence to ensure that a child is raised in a favorable environment for development so that the child can be helped by parents/caregivers to develop self-esteem.
Works Cited
Grose, Michael. “Building high Self-Esteem in Your Child.” 2006- November 14. Web.
Henderson, Shirley. “Boosting Your Child’s Self-Esteem.” Pp 118-120. Johnson Publishing Company, Inc. (2010).
Reese E, Bird A and Tripp G. “Children’s Self-esteem and Moral Self: Links to Parent–Child Conversations Regarding Emotion.” pp 461-467. University of Otago. (2007).
Vallee, Tammy. “Parenting tips for raising children with high self-esteem”. 2002. Web.
Weiner, Jessica. “Build Your Child’s Self-Esteem.” EBSCO Publishing, 2003. p. 16.