The paper shall look at two problems i.e. perfectionism and feelings of low self-esteem among gifted children. Reasons behind such occurrences will be examined and possible solutions offered for coping with them.
Perfectionism among gifted children-healthy and unhealthy perfectionism
Perfectionism is a personality trait in which people strive for excellence rather than merely trying their personal best. While the latter trait is not synonymous with gifted children alone, statistics indicate that this group has a higher tendency towards displaying this trait compared to children with average ability. Healthy perfectionism is normally characterized by a high level of organization and high standards. This implies that such gifted children may possess intense self-drive thus leading them to greater levels of achievement in comparison to their respective counterparts. Also, healthy perfectionism causes such children to be passionate about their day-to-day endeavors thus causing them to always do their best. Perfectionism can be reflected in almost all spheres of life and may be depicted in both academic and non-academic realms.
On the other hand, unhealthy perfectionism is characterized by continual self-criticism that often culminates in the fear of failure. What this does is that it prevents gifted children from trying out new things because they may be afraid of producing flawed results. Unhealthy perfectionism often causes gifted children to base their entire self-worth on their achievement. This can be quite detrimental to them because life is not always predictable or faultless. Such unhealthy perfectionists tend to be obsessed or fixated on reaching the top. (Hamachek, 1978)
There are several strategies available to persons working with gifted children battling with the latter problems. Teachers need to help parents understand that they did not cause this problem. In fact, a number of researchers have asserted that parents do not actually drive gifted children to become perfectionists; instead, it is these very children who may misinterpret expectations from their parents. Consequently, parents need not refrain from encouraging their children to do well just because they may be afraid of causing unhealthy perfectionism.
It is a known fact that perfectionism is just another characteristic or tool that gifted children have at their disposal. They, therefore, have the potential to utilize it positively or negatively depending on the strategy adopted. In fact, great men and women in history have been known to be perfectionists. Examples here include Marie Curie and Michelangelo. Teachers, counselors, and psychologists working with gifted children must teach them how to make perfectionism favor them. This is possible through a range of possibilities. Counselors need to teach gifted children to accept making mistakes and thus construct models for coping with such skills. The latter solution can only work if it is done in a structured and calm environment. In this regard, it would help if teachers look for opportunities where gifted children can succeed thus enhancing their self-confidence. The constructive appraisal can go a long way in making such children appreciate their accomplishments. (Pyrt, 2004)
Sometimes teachers tend to make comparisons of gifted children and this may often lead them towards unhealthy perfectionism. In fact, the grading system has more or less the same effect as making comparisons. This is because grading tends to increase the amount of pressure experienced by such individuals. Since teachers have the capacity to determine how they assess their students, then it is a lot wiser to make assessment systems for gifted children less strenuous. Such children already place too much pressure on themselves without having to put up with it from external sources. Lastly, counselors and teachers need to facilitate communication between them and gifted children. They can do this by setting up meetings with the children and their parents but most importantly, communication can be enhanced by listening to the gifted children and involving them in setting standards for themselves. Their exaggerated beliefs ought to be challenged in a nonconfrontational but firm manner. All these approaches can go a long way in making perfectionism a virtue rather than a vice. (Callard, 2004)
Feelings of low self-esteem among gifted children
Low self-esteem among gifted children is a common trait because they tend to stand out from average peers. Contrary to popular perceptions, gifted children are not well adjusted, popular, or even happy. This usually arises because they tend to be quite isolated. They are highly multitalented and unique thus causing them to realize that they are different. In the end, they start developing feelings of loneliness that eventually create emotional vacuums. Developmental experts claim that one’s emotional growth is often possible by frequent interactions with peers. When this does not occur, then chances are that gifted children may have very poor social skills. They tend to be excellent in certain intellectual spheres but are clueless in reading social cues. This leads to situations where they do not fit in with the rest of their peers and they may begin feeling incompetent. In the end, such children develop very low self-esteem.
The latter condition (low self-esteem) also arises because of the burden of being gifted. These children often feel an immense sense of responsibility to live up to other’s expectations. They tend to grow up under the perception that they must not fail in their endeavors. When this occurs, then it becomes excessively difficult for them to cope. With time, the negative emotions associated with failure may cause them to develop a low self-image. Low self-esteem may also emanate from conflicting messages that gifted children frequently receive. In certain circumstances, they may be encouraged to stay as they are or to be ‘real’ but in other situations, these children may be told to conform and be like other children. Such messages confuse them and may increase their feelings of isolation; in the end, their self-esteem may be impeded.
Counselors and teachers can utilize a number of strategies that can help in improving gifted children’s self-esteem. First of all, counselors need to allow gifted children to form their own identities. Too frequently, teachers are hasty in placing gifted children within certain subject areas (normally science-related). This prevents them, from growing their self-confidence. Teachers ought to give gifted children a chance to develop social and emotional characteristics like self-concept, self-motivation, and the like. Also, teachers can curb low self-esteem brought on by poor social skills by encouraging gifted children not to impose their own standards on other people. These children need to be taught how to engage in positive self-talk but most importantly, they need to embrace the fact that they may frequently be criticized by others and they need to learn how to cope with this. (Winner, 1996)
As stated earlier, low self-esteem may stem from the need to excel all the time; counselors and teachers should offer them tangible solutions on how to deal with this pressure. For instance, the children can record their feelings in diaries or they can be taught how to give other peers positive comments. By releasing their emotions and focusing on other people, gifted children may eventually boost their self-confidence.
Conclusion
The problems examined above are perfectionism and low self-esteem. These issues are caused by internal judgments from gifted children themselves as well as external pressures. The key to coping with them is by unraveling the exaggerations associated with inborn tendencies and reduction of external pressures exerted by one’s teachers, friends, and family.
References
Pyrt, M. (2004). Helping gifted children cope with perfectionism. Parenting for High potential, 4
Hamachek, D. (1978). Psychodynamics of neurotic and normal perfectionism. Psychology journal 15(3), 28.
Callard, R. (2004). Perfection and gifted children. Lanham: Scarecrow Education publishers.
Winner, E. (1996). Gifted children – realities and myths. New York: basic books.