Introduction
Despite the fact that all of us want to live well, peacefully and never fight with people surrounding us, we still often face conflict situations that do not have any smooth solution. Even those people who are used to living calmly and do not like to be engaged into the direct conflict often come across life decisions that cannot be made without strong, violent interactions with others. It often happens that you may be not the instigator of the conflict but still you become an active participant thereof, and you have to look for constructive strategies that will help you sustain good relations with those taking part in the conflict together with you, and to preserve the peaceful state of mind and inner harmony that should not be disturbed by conflict situations.
Main body
Surely, all scientists and researchers admit that it is impossible to sort out a short and helpful set of strategies to handle conflict because they depend on each particular situation and on the person who applies them, as well as on many other factors. Those who try to use them or develop their own strategies still cannot give a direct, indisputable answer to the question how to deal with the conflict. But still it is important to analyze the decisions offered to people who face conflict very often and who need to learn to cope with it.
Williams (2009) offers a set of conflict management strategies assuming that when we face a conflict we first of all have to think not about what we want to do, but about what we should do. Keeping yourself composed and not giving way to emotions is the first precondition of successful implementation of the conflict management strategy. So, among those possible to be used to handle the conflict one should choose from forcing (using authority to settle the conflict), accommodating (satisfying the needs of another party in the conflict forgetting about your own ones), avoiding (being passively accepting the conflict without any direct action), compromising (finding the solution that would partly satisfy all of the parties) and collaborating (the win-win situation that involves active work on the solution to the conflict that will be beneficial for all parties) (Williams, 2009).
The strategy of collaborating heavily relies on one rule that is easy to grasp but hard to fulfill – attentive listening to your counterpart. Dean Rusk, the former US Secretary of State, argued that listening is one of the best ways to persuade another person, and this can be done without words (Justice and Jamieson, 2006). However, it is easy to give an example from life that everyone may have seen at the workplace or in the study group – this strategy is accommodating from the perspective of one party, and forcing from the viewpoint of another party. This often happens when people experience the pressure of groupthink and agree with the intentionally wrong statement only not to be engaged in debates with the rest of the group. Forcing is evident from the side of the boss or the tutor who may be wrong but may not have any wish to discuss the matter because he or she may be afraid to appear wrong. So they use their authority to force management of the conflict; however, it is a common tendency for the conflict to arise again further on if it is solved this way – the strategies are destructive and do not change the situation on the whole.
Looking at all enumerated pieces of advice as to how to handle the conflict in your life, it is possible to sum the information up and to choose those strategies that suit your individuality, your habits and diplomatic skills as well as the peculiarities of your character. But the main thing to understand while studying conflict, ways to reduce it and the nature of its impact on your life, is that conflict is unavoidable and inescapable, thus it can only be reduced. Moreover, the negative impact of conflicts on the conscience of the person can be reduced once this person understands that conflict is something natural and it cannot be eliminated on the whole – its presence in every life is a norm, so being engaged in conflicts is not the reason for panic or disappointment:
“Avoidance and engagement are both poor strategies for managing conflict. Life is filled with conflicts that you will need to move past. Avoiding all of them would be neglecting your duty to yourself and others” (Young, 2009).
Living a full, harmonious life is possible even when the conflict fills your life – the main thing is not the conflict itself but the way you treat it. Those who make a tragedy out of the trifle situation will never achieve completeness and harmony. More than that, they will never achieve their goals. Conflict is a natural life situation that has to be manipulated and not feared. Only under such treatment the person who faces a conflict in his or her life will be able to get out of it without any losses, and possibly even with gains.
Conclusion
Speaking about me, I prefer to solve the conflict in constructive ways – either by compromising or by collaborating. This happens because I am always aware of the fact that if the conflict is ignored or forced to be over, there will be no use of such a decision and the conflict will arise again. As soon as it emerges repeatedly several more times it will become tenser and the parties will get more aggressive, so there may be no more peaceful and constructive solution to it. Thus, to avoid such emergency situations which can reach their climax and create a serious misunderstanding or the collapse of a group of people, it is necessary to handle conflict in a timely and constructive manner.
References
Justice, T., & Jamieson, D. (2006). The facilitator’s fieldbook: step-by-step procedures, checklists and guidelines, samples and templates (2nd ed.). AMACOM Div American Mgmt Assn.
Williams, S. (2009). Conflict Management – Style and Strategy. Web.
Young, S.H. (2009). Dodging Bullets: 7 Strategies to Handle Conflict. Web.