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Conflict Scripts and Styles Learnt in Childhood Essay

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Updated: Mar 29th, 2022


In our day-to-day lives, conflicts usually occur when two or more people especially a group of individuals happen not to get a long, and their goals become incompatible. Most of people, when they hear of word conflict, they tend to think of fights or violence. In the real world, Conflict is part of people’s lives as it is hard for entire society to think alike. However, conflict situations occur in all levels and situations of our lives. It may be hard for people to remember, but the fact is that almost everyone experiences a situation of conflict every day (Wood & Schweitzer, 2009).

The fact of conflict is that, everyone was created in his or her unique ways, hence the differences in views and opinions. Mostly, people encounter conflict due to lack of respecting one another’s opinions. At some levels, conflict is positive as it is used to bring justice where people are practicing injustice. Although conflict can result to war, it can also create some opportunities for issues to be resolved and have a better future. However, conflict should be avoided as it can lead to violence and become harmful.

Implicit rules of conflict that were taught in childhood

In my past life during childhood, it was insisted that conflict could be either positive or negative to the society (Wood & Schweitzer, 2009). People should always make the best out of conflict. Once the conflict becomes violent, it becomes hard for the people to enjoy the opportunities to shape the future, as the situation would be worse. Violent conflict usually leads to destruction of people’s livelihood, people loose trusts among their fellows, and the majorities are left suffering due to anger. In childhood, when conflict surfaced in the family especially the misunderstanding among the siblings, parents were always on the look to handle the situation. The parents would cool down the situation to listen to both parties and then mediate between, to have a positive conclusion.

Actions when disagreement surfaced

The parents used an improved communication between the children, so that they can understand each other’s opinions. The parents played a great role of opening a discussion, and showing their children a way of expressing and talking their differences (Wood & Schweitzer, 2009). Through these lessons, in childhood we were able to handle simple conflicts among ourselves as we would talk openly and find the source as well as the solution of the conflicts. While in early school ages, our teachers also encouraged us to talk openly concerning our differences, and through this, most of the pupils were able to solve surface conflicts and to avoid them whenever possible.

Open discussion of differences

What the parents did was to encourage an open discussion among the children, so that they would estimate the level of understanding of every child. Through this, the parents would tell the source of the argument, as the children shape their future through the solved conflicts (Wood & Schweitzer, 2009). Just like the adults, children need comfort and support to encourage them to share their differences, and that is how our parents used to do during our childhood. If young children do not express their feelings before their peers and their parents, they might become afraid of their own status. Expressing and talking differences among the children is advisable, because failure to that these children may express in behaviors.

Conflict script that I learned as a child

In addition, some of the things that I learned as a child about conflict script I apply them even today. For instance, I learnt about the various sources of conflicts and the ways of solving surface conflicts among people that one is relating with (Wood & Schweitzer, 2009). Some of the common sources of conflicts are the disagreements about some issues. Currently, when I realize some disagreement about an issue, I first encourage the deeper discussion of the issue in question. If the issue is power, which is a common source of disagreement I encourage my fellows to understand it well, especially its contents and its impacts both positive and negative. In childhood ages, we used to blame one another in case of conflict, but later in life we learnt on how to handle such situations in case they arise, and that is what I apply even today. Before the conflicts set in, there is pre conflict session whereby some discussions and differences can be considered healthy and worth as they can result to something productive if handled with tolerance.

How I picked my current conflict script

The current conflict script that I use has evolved over time, especially from the basic things I learnt in my childhood. As the time passed by, I have encountered some conflict situations that have taught me a lot (Wood & Schweitzer, 2009). As one tries to solve as many conflicts as possible, he or she gets an opportunity to sharpen his or her experience of handling different conflict situations. In my lifetime, I have handled several conflicts, the situations that have made me to become experienced day by day. Through the education processes, I have also covered several courses, through which I have acquired conflict solving skills and knowledge. Moreover, the social, my social life has also enlightened me greatly as far as conflict solving is concerned.


Wood, J., & Schweitzer, A. (2009). Everyday encounters: An introduction to interpersonal communication. New York: Nelson Education Ltd.

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