Introduction
Superlatively, the communication process is a fundamental aspect in life. Since time immemorial, people have been interacting with one another as they share their ideas and experiences. In the olden days, people mainly communicated through word of mouth. Today however, the communication process has undergone several changes that led to the introduction of other forms of communication. These changes were mainly fueled by the advancement of technology (White 54). As a result of technology, the communication process has greatly been modernized. For instance, technological advances generated new ideologies of communication. Basically there are two forms of communication which consist of written and unwritten communication. Written communication is where people interact through paper work. Written communication is commonly used in organizations and may include memos, reports and in-house magazines. Unlike written communication, the unwritten communication does not entail any paper work. The unwritten communication is usually through word of mouth and is commonly referred to as verbal communication. Nowadays, people no longer live in isolation but instead interact with one another despite their ethnicity (White, p. 81). As a matter of fact, intermarriage has promoted intercultural communication whereby individuals learn other people’s languages. This aims to discuss various aspects of non verbal communication.
Activity 3: Language, emotions and ethics
Verbal communication is usually effective since it creates room for immediate feedback for the parties involved. Thus, individuals can interact face to face as they get each other’s reaction (White, p. 103). Although verbal communication is an essential tool for delivering messages, it has always been misused by some individuals who utter violent words to their friends, colleagues or even relatives. This is not advisable as it may stir up an unfavorable atmosphere where the communication is taking place. As such, people should always be cautious with the king of words or rather language that they use to communicate with other individuals (White, p. 79). In one particular incident, I was having a verbal communication with two of my friends who decided to use offensive language against me. Actually those friends of mine are from another tribal group which is different from my own ethnic group. Despite our cultural differences, we had always been loyal to one another as we made good use of our interactions. Through our frequent communication, I got to learn about their language though there were some words that I still do not know. Since both of them are from the same tribe, would also teach them some few words in my language.
Our interaction was alright until the day that one of them decided to insult me in their ethnic language. We had been talking for quite sometime when I got into a disagreement with my friend. On that day we went to a restaurant in town where we could have our lunch before going for shopping. We therefore walked into the restaurant as we had general conversations about our country. This however took a different dimension when one of my friends started mocking my culture. At first she thought I did not understand what she said since she used a rather complex word in her language. All she said was clear to me though I still wonder why she used offensive language against me. My other friend was also dismayed by the kind of language that was used by our friend. I could not believe that my friend had referred me to as a naĂŻve person who is not civilized. These were the actual words that she used to describe me in her language. She even said that I was uncivilized like the people from my own community. For sometime, I thought she was joking but I realized that she was serious as she talked with bitterness. I got angry with her and if not for our other friend who separated us, I could have got into a physical confrontation with her. From that day onwards, I did not have any kind of conversation with her. Even after the insult, my friend did not bother to apologize and instead she walked away and left me at the restaurant. That was one of the negative experiences I have ever had in my life. I never imagined that my close friend could insult and turn her back on me. I felt hurt and disturbed because my friend betrayed the trust I had for her. To me, she was a different person but not the usual friend whom I knew for about three years. I was bitter and felt so sad about everything that transpired.
Luckily enough, my other friend was there to console me as she gave me encouraging words. With her around, I felt appreciated after getting an insult from my other friend. Out of the abusive language, I realized that indeed my friend was not a genuine person. I had to terminate my friendship with her because having her around me can only bring more trouble. This is just an example of how some people can use abusive language to those they interact with. Such incidences are usually bound to occur and so it would depend on how individuals handle their conflicts. I must admit that I felt like attacking my friend when she insulted me but later I realized that it was not the right thing to do. Incase of a similar incident, I would prefer to walk away from the person who has used abusive language against me. This is because things may become worse if I do not go away. The moment I am abused, I might be tempted to retaliate and so it would be better to go away and avoid more conflicts. Another way of dealing with the situation is by correcting the person who has used a negative word. When a person is corrected, he/she can be in a position to realize a mistake and work on it. There are however other individuals who would never accept any kind of correction even if they are on the wrong side. They would even create more trouble rather that owe an apology to an offended person. Ethically, it is also proper to correct a person who uses a sexist language because failing to do so might cause more trouble in the future. Thus, they may use the same words while talking to other people who may not tolerate their language. For people who like using stereotyping remarks, it would be wise to make them realize their mistakes. If the person is my boss or my teacher, not hesitate to correct them though I would be very careful with the words to use.
Activity 5: Gender and Language
While having a verbal communication with a close friend, it is usually advisable to use appropriate words while talking to each other. The verbal communication between two people normally tends to follow patterns of a typical gendered speech for women and men. In terms of gendered speech, men normally tend to be more talkative than women. In most cultural backgrounds, men are portrayed as the dominant of households and so they always have a final word while talking to their spouses. On the other hand men can be silent especially when having an emotional conversation with a woman. For instance when a woman is emotionally affected, his husband may not use too many words but instead listen to whatever she says. Similarly, my close friend and I usually follow some patterns of typical gendered speech for women and men. My friend is a male person and so he normally dominates our verbal communication.
On my side, I also have my own views whenever we interact although I do not talk very much like he does. I remember there are several instances when I would disagree with him for not giving me enough time to talk. All he ever wanted to say what feels though have is usually reluctant to listen to my views. It reached a particular time when I disagreed with all that and told him that I had equal rights like him. With this kind of approach, we were able to have a verbal communication that was geared towards improving our relationship. As we interact with each other, we always care about each other’s feelings in order to avoid any hurting word. Since we come from the same ethnic group, our interactions are normally very interesting. Having the same culture has also promoted understanding between us because we can always interpret some words using our ethnic language. Moreover, we often use euphemisms in our conversations. The following is an example of a dialogue that I had with him.
Myself: Hi dear, are you aware that Daniel was thrown out of the basketball team?
My friend: No, I have not heard about that. What exactly happened?
Myself: Well, His team coach claimed that he was vertically challenged hence he could not reach up to the ball.
My friend: That is so unfortunate for him. I hope he will find himself another sporting activity that will keep him busy.
Myself: I also hope he will get something else to keep him busy.
According to our dialogue, we were referring to a short player whose participation was terminated from the basketball team. Instead of referring to him as a short player, we preferred to use the term vertically challenged. Here is another example of another dialogue.
My friend: Do remember that student who was recently awarded for her brilliant performance in school?
Myself: Yes I remember her.
My friend: Can you imagine that she threw in the towel and decided to go to another school?
Myself: Why would she do that when everything seem alright with her?
My friend: She did that because she wanted to be in the same school with her sister.
Myself: Don’t you think that would interfere with her performance.
My friend: I don’t think so because she is a focused young lady who knows what she wants in life.
Myself: I wish her all the best in her studies though.
In relation to the euphemism that we used, the student was giving up her studies from her school and moving on to another institution where she could join her sister. In other words, we used the term throw in the towel which actually means giving up. Our verbal conversations therefore entail a wide variety of issues which may or may not affect us. We not only talk about ourselves but also about other matters that occur around us. Talking about other issues is important since it helps us to understand why people take certain decisions and also why some things happen in life.
Conclusion
Verbal communication is very significant in our daily lives as it helps to strengthen our relationship with other people. Thus when people have face to face communication, they are able to express their feelings as they talk together. Such relationships are also bound to strengthen since individuals can involve themselves in other activities while talking to one another (White, p. 143). Culturally, people should adopt the habit of interacting with one another regardless of their ethnicity. Today, globalization has created room for more socialization and so people should not tie themselves in their own ethnic cocoons. Instead they should spread out and interact with diverse communities as they share ideas and experiences. As people interact, they ought to appreciate one another and avoid offensive language that may stir up a conflict. Offensive languages are very unhealthy for any kind of verbal communication between individuals (White, p. 210).
Works cited
White, Dawn. Interpersonal Communication: A cultural Approach. US: Cape Breton University Press, 2008.