Cohabitation in marriage is a situation where two people decide to live together before they are legally married. This situation is most prevalent commonly in young people who want to escape the pressures of everyday life. This arrangement has got its own merits and demerits. In most cases, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. This condition is not only applicable to young people but also to elder people who, in one way or the other, find themselves in a situation where they have to compromise. This situation has been compounded by the fact that we live in a society where moral values have become a thing of the past. Cohabiting before marriage is also called come we stay. Many people prefer this to legal marriage, but I beg to differ. (Kamp ,2003)
One of the many disadvantages of cohabiting is that in this condition, you are never sure of your partner’s next move. This is due to the fact that there is no binding bond between the two of you. In an ordinary marriage setting, the legal aspects of the marriage are well taken care of in such a way that if anything happened to one of the partners, then there would be no scenarios that would make the other partner miserable. There has been situations where when one partner dies there arise disputes about custody. This is more so, especially where the husband passes away without having left behind a legal document to prove that the woman he was living with was his rightful wife. (Stanley, 2004)
Another disadvantage for cohabiting is that you don’t feel that you have ownership of your partner. In many societies before marriage, you have to pay dowry. This makes you to be recognized by every side of the families unlike the come we stay scenario where in most cases no one knows that you are even staying together. In rare cases this has led to some cases where people have been known to be killed by their partners and legal action couldn’t be taken since no one knew that they were living together at the time. (Kamp ,2003)
There are many other disadvantages for cohabiting before marriage, but the other major one I would like to highlight is the cause of broken families. It’s a proven fact that many of this come we stay arrangements do not last. When a marriage breaks, it also leaves one heartbroken, and this is a cause of great misery and suffering. This has also led to the increase of single parents. This leaves one (especially the mother) on their own to bring up the children. This has impacted on our society negatively. Recent studies show that children brought up to single parents are more lawless than children from a functional family.( Cohan & Kleinbaum,2002)
The only advantage of cohabitation before marriage is that it gives you a chance to get to know your partner well before you get to make the lifetime devotion to stay with them. Many people have been known to break up amicably after realizing that they are better off living apart than being married. This can only be achieved if you live with someone over a time and learn them. (Bumpass & Lu,2000)
It’s only fair that people go for the right way of marriage since the merits outweigh the demerits. This will help bring order to our society when families become more functional. This will also cut down on the government’s expenditure in raising children in care centers whose parents parted ways after disagreeing.
List of References
Bumpass, L. L., & Lu, H. H. (2000). Trends in cohabitation and implications for children s family contexts in the United States. Population Studies, 54, 29–41.
Cohan, C. L., & Kleinbaum, S. (2002). Toward a greater understanding of the cohabitation effect: Premarital cohabitation and marital communication. Journal of Marriage and Family, 64, 180–192.
Kamp Dush, C. M., Cohan, C. L., & Amato, P. R. (2003). The relationship between cohabitation and marital quality and stability: Change across cohorts?Journal of Marriage and Family, 65, 539–549.
Stanley, S. M., Whitton, S. W., & Markman, H. J. (2004). Maybe I do: Interpersonal commitment and premarital or nonmarital cohabitation. Journal of Family Issues, 25, 496–519.