When I was still a child, I only used to hear about deaths that had struck other families. I never paid much attention to such bad news because I assumed it was just a normal thing in life. My Sunday school teacher taught me that people went to heaven once they died.
My father was the last born in their family, and therefore, he was instructed by his siblings to accommodate our grandpa in our home. When grandpa moved into our house, I was only ten years old. Since grandpa spent most of his time at home, I was very close to him than anyone in our family.
The death of my grandpa happened several years ago, but it still haunts me because I have never come to accept his departure. His death came when I was in my mid-twenties, and it struck when our family least expected it. Grandpa did not suffer from any chronic diseases as most elderly people do; hence my family was caught unaware.
His death was an eye-opener to me because before his passing on, I thought death occurred only to certain people. It was during his burial that I realized that death is a must for all living things. In my mind, I never expected grandpa to depart from us, and when he finally did, I felt that God was so unfair to me because He should have left grandpa to see my children. I also felt like I was too young to deal with this situation.
My parents did not seem to grieve for longer than I did. From their conversations, I could tell they were celebrating grandpa’s life, but then there was nothing to celebrate for me because I had lost my closest companion and counselor. I was not content with the advice and wisdom I had earned from grandpa because I felt there was still room for more of his counsel.
What made me cry the most was the fact that grandpa went down with so much knowledge, and there was no way I could have retrieved this knowledge or otherwise stop his death. This grieving and mourning fell on me immediately after his funeral. Before his burial, there were so many people at our home, but when we laid him to rest, that’s when reality dawned on me.
I used to visit his grave quite often and expressed my feelings for him. I used to hear that the dead could communicate with the living through dreams; therefore, I expected grandpa to communicate with me when I was deep asleep. When this failed to happen, I was confused because I could not understand why grandpa could not do like the other dead people.
It took me a very long time to get used to life without grandpa. My family was very supportive because my mom and dad understood the bond that existed between grandpa and me. I still refer to grandpa’s teachings because they have molded me into whom I am. I have come to learn that experience is the best teacher of all times.
Today I’m in a better position to advise people who have experienced the same problem. It is said that unless one understands darkness, he can never appreciate the light. There are so many challenges that faced my family, but I have chosen to leave them out due to their complexity.
When grandpa was still living, no one thought he played a significant role, but when he was gone, he left a very big gap that nobody could ever fill. Philosophers argue that if you want people to recognize your efforts, you must stop for some time for people to realize your role in their lives. Grandpa served as the unifying factor in our family tree.
I still imagine there are other people in my family who were affected by grandpa’s death, but they still hold their emotions to themselves. I have heard other people say that one can never know what he has until he loses it. Grandpa’s death made me stay alert just in case we lost another family member. There was a grand reception at grandpa’s funeral, which left me wondering why such a feast was not held while he was still alive.
Sprenger (2003) suggests that parents should prepare their children for the departure of their grand parents because if I were prepared for grandpa’s departure, I would have moved on with my life sooner than later. It is also important to appreciate others while they still live. This can be achieved by giving them special gifts and also taking their photos. You should have seen how people were struggling to appear in grandpa’s photos at his funeral.
My uncles and cousins used to visit our home quite often to check on grandpa, but his death brought their visits to a halt. They hardly came to our house unless there was a very important family meeting, and that’s when our families split. These family meetings lasted until all of grandpa’s property was shared among his heirs. To me, these material things meant nothing, and I could not compare them to the relationship between grandpa and me.
I only wished grandpa would come back to life and see what his descendants were going through. Grandpa was wise enough to write down a will that commanded how his possessions would be shared. This event made me realize that there is only one life to be lived; hence I should enjoy it to its fullest.
I still remember how, during my free time, I would pop into grandpa’s house for a couple of stories. My grandpa was very talkative; hence our conversations were extended to the late hours of the night. I did not tire from listening to grandpa because every story presented a new lesson for me. Grandpa was such a religious person, so all his narratives were based on religion.
There is one crucial lesson that grandpa taught me back then, but it still rings in my mind like it was yesterday. Prior to the material day, our house had been raided by burglars, but nobody was hurt in the incident. Grandpa referred to that incidence to explain to me that according to Holy Scriptures, God is the giver of life, and nobody else has the capacity to do so.
He argued that God being the creator of man He is the only one who knows the beginning and the end to a person’s life. He encouraged me to be brave since he believed everything that happens to humans has a reason. Grandpa advised me to always consult God in everything that I wanted to do in the future because he felt the success of one’s plan depends on God.
Grandpa was a very active member of our local church. Catholic faithful used to meet in his house for fellowship prayers and bible study. During school holidays, grandpa would invite me to join him in those fellowship meetings that were normally held twice per week. He argued that these meetings were used to create awareness for Christians on how they can improve their relationship with God.
Grandpa’s death provided a window of opportunity for me to experience. Honey & Mumford (2006) argues that in real life, the experience is not earned through reading or lectures. In fact, people learn through experience regardless of whether they lose or gain something in exchange for the lesson. It is, therefore, certain that a lesson learned through experience can not be lost.
According to Revel (2005), people may lose what they hold dear for them to learn their lesson. Therefore, if they lose what they value most, they will never learn because if what they lose does not affect their lives, they will not consider avoiding the recurrence of the same incidence. In the biblical scriptures, death is mentioned as the punishment for one’s sins, but this punishment was lifted by the crucifixion of Jesus Christ on the cross.
Grandpa taught me that I should do to others what I expected them to do to me. He used to love his best example. He argued that if I wanted to be loved, I must first love others more because I love love.
He explained that whatever good or bad things that one does towards others, they will definitely come back to him or her. Actually, if people were keen to exercise this principle, there would be no jails or such things. I have found jealousy and selfness to be the major cause of all evils. To prevent bad things from coming back to me, I try my best to do good things for others because the same thing will be done to me.
Grandpa used to tell me that he was content with what he had acquired in his younger days. He taught me that the most important things in life are food and clothing because they are necessary for one’s survival. He said that a person could enjoy his sleep in the bush as long as his stomach is full.
He was also quick to mention that riches are blessings from God. He said that God’s blessings are always plenty for all humans, but when one refuses to share his blessings with others, he limits his blessings because there is no room for more blessings. With this in mind, I share whatever I have regardless of its quantity or volume because God avails just enough for all.
To illustrate this idea better, grandpa asked me to invite some of my friends into his house for a cup of tea. When my pals and I were done with tea, he brought a huge basket filled with loaves of bread. He asked me to hold as many as I could, but I only managed to hold five of them while the rest slipped from my hands. We repeated the same procedure, but this time, he asked me to pass over the loaves to my pals as soon as I held enough.
He explained that most people refuse to share what they have because they want it to be plenty, but in the final end, they have very little. This is because most of their possessions go to waste. On the contrary, those who share with others have plenty and can never lack anything.
He further explained that since human beings were brought into this world by God with nothing, there is no way a person can carry anything out of this world. This, in return, has made me consider helping others who lack what I have in plenty because I consider my life to be worthy if I live it for others.
This is true because, according to Christian teachings, humans are supposed to love each other unconditionally. Jesus, the Messiah, further explained this element to feature one’s enemies. I apply this element in life by accepting all people as the children of God regardless of their faith or culture. I have also learned to co-exist with my enemies because God is our Universal father.
Grandpa insisted that riches are not a result of hard work but God’s blessing. To support this point, he gave examples of people who used and still worked hard, and yet they were not rich while their counterparts who were considered lazy had lots of wealth. I have learned to let nature take its course when I can not change the direction of events in my life.
I have come to realize that God understands our efforts; He knows how much we have tried. By reading Holy Scriptures, I have learned that our worries are useless because they can not help us in times of need. Since God feeds the birds of the air, He is able to feed me too.
The above argument has made me change my attitude towards poor people and appreciate them for who they are. Many people think that the poor are to blame for their poverty because they don’t work as much as they should. Furthermore, Christianity states that God cares for the needy.
Grandpa told me to handle all people in the same manner regardless of their status in society or their profession because all humans are equal before God. He argued that some people would appreciate another person depending on his influence in society.
Christianity teaches that God humbles those who are proud and honors those who are humble because He is the creator of both evil and good people. Grandpa referred to the story of Zacchaeus in the bible, who was short in height and was hated by people because of the nature of his work, but he was honored by the Messiah. In my opinion, the social status of a person does not reflect his personality because a profession only provides the source of income.
References
Honey, P & Mumford, A. (2006). The learning styles questionnaire, 80 – item version. Maidenhead, UK, Peter Honey Publications.
Revel, P. (2005). Each to their own. UK: The Guardian.
Sprenger, M. (2003). Differentiation through learning styles and memory. Thousand Oaks, CA: Corvin Press.