In the majority of cases, parents and educators resort to yelling because they believe that raising one’s voice is the only way to draw the child’s attention to a certain request. In reality, however, it is not yelling that triggers children but their association with the aftermath of the inaction. According to Dr. Paul Jenkins, when adults use yelling as a terminal stage of communicating their ideas, children become trained to respond to it in order to avoid the next step of this communication, which is frequently punishment (Live on Purpose TV, 2017). Hence, in order to get children to listen without yelling at them, parents and teachers need to link the real consequences to the calm and tender voice. However, instead of creating a punishment or consequence one cannot control or perform, the consequence should become a tangible choice option.
As far as the classroom environment is concerned, it is imperative for the educator to change a behavioral pattern from punishment to reinforcement to think. For example, when asking a child to leave the classroom because they disrupt the learning process by yelling at them, the child does not have the opportunity to think about their actions. Instead, they are triggered to initiate a fight and yell or act disruptively in response. However, once the student is given a choice of either listening carefully to the teacher or writing a test on a topic without learning any more information, the teacher becomes in control of the situation. The child either keeps quiet or chooses the second option, fails the test, and learns to think about their actions in the future. Such a strategy, when fueled by personal behaviors like patience, active listening, and proper articulation of ideas, helps teachers reinforce children’s behavior and thinking without encouraging them to fight or defend yelling.
Reference
Live on Purpose TV. (2017). How to get kids to listen without yelling[Video]. YouTube.