It is so terrible that so many find such cause for concern in what is a passing, trendy paranoia about the state of humankind’s affairs with her environment—in particular with what has become a radical movement toward fear as pertains to the issue of “global warming.” We are all benefactors of humankind’s greatest technological advancements to a degree that has never before been matched, and yet we are subject to such lunacy! This entire endeavor is ridiculous by any scientific standard. People promote “going green” as a solution to the problems at hand—a phrase that implies we take more concerted efforts to reform our wasteful habits. It means we should participate in activities that include reusing bags at places like the grocery store, recycling our plastics, and moving toward the use of electricity to power our industries and our vehicles. All of these activities will provide nothing more than a sense of calm to the masses. It is a false solution to the problem we face, and here, now, I propose a brand new form of action that may very well revolutionize the manner with which the issues at hand are thought about and discussed. I say do nothing.
People say that something must be done to fight global warming, and I suppose it is with the very premise of this statement that I disagree. It is my humble opinion that nothing, nothing be done to prevent global warming, as it is a phenomenon much more like an accommodation of the Earth to her most prized life form, man, than a threat to our existence. Imagine! Imagine a polar bear viewing the world’s cooling trends as a dissatisfactory occurrence! Only in the convoluted hearts of the more savage among us does a conclusion stir in which we should fight a trend that will suit the very needs of our civilization.
It has been brought to my attention that the last year of 2009 was one of the hottest on record. I must deride when I hear this news spread in a manner so precariously meant to inspire desperation in the bellies of one’s peers. Was I not the only one who enjoyed the extra sunshine? Walks along the beach? Warmer waters? Perhaps it is a simple preference of comfort. Maybe the people so vehemently campaigning to end global warming simply feel more comfortable in a climate a few degrees cooler. I speak ingest, of course. I am aware these people feel some catastrophic shift is bound to occur in which the very survival of our species (how melodramatic!) will be at stake. I say, they all require some of the attention of our very highly trained psychotherapists, as we have come a long way in the treatment of such paranoid delusions of impending doom.
The most hilarious thing that I have seen is people’s sudden energetic interest in wind farms. What a sight! A bunch of whirling blades in the midst of deserts and landscapes where they make the most awkward visions! We will find a way to move on, of course. And perhaps I should accept these ridiculous machines as acceptable alternatives to the crude oils and gasses we burn currently, from which the most hideous perfumes are dispelled, making quite the mess of my olfactory senses. Yet, it remains to be such a peculiar action to me. I wonder! The winds will begin to slow eventually. Environmentalists will, without doubt, keep on their search for “alternative” supplies of energy. Sure, I’ve heard of the “breakthroughs” in solar energy technology, but I wonder if these so-called environmentalists have ever once considered the implications of such a science. I am, as I have made clear, an avid admirer of weather in which the degrees have risen to a height that suits my blood’s general lack of thickness, and there is simply no way I can fathom that transferring solar energy into power will not, in some way, begin to lower the temperatures of the globe. This appears to be common sense to me, but who am I if not a casual observer of the world to which I have been introduced!
We are men, women, and children. We use our minds, our rational abilities, to plan and to conquer the world around us. We make. We shape. We create. The products of these activities never fail in making me happier than I was before these creations were developed. I enjoy my IPod, and listen to it with much enthusiasm as I walk the black streets and brown skies of my current neighborhood. Quelling the dangers of “global warming” will not change the inherent natures of our humanity, and please do not misunderstand me and walk away from this essay believing that I, for a moment, am giving credence to the charges that global warming is in any way a danger to any human being on the face our most infinitely resource-enriched planet. For arguments sake, however, I am willing to consider global warming as a threat, if only to point out that this threat has come as a result of humanity being humanity, and to fight its consequences may postpone a doom for which this planet has planned to meet human development– not delay it forever (Quinn 118). All this is really quite tiresome to discuss, however. This summer, when I am lying in the sand, spreading sun block over my arms and shoulders, and soaking up the light of the sun that has energized life itself for so many millions of years, I will remember the allegations of these environmentalists, and hold back my scoff so as to not ruin my chances of meeting people with positive dispositions.
These environmentalists propose that we return to living like savages! They wish to see us tear down the buildings, the roads, the homes, and return to the jungle. They wish to see us subject to the brutal, untamed, natural beasts that we are so well protected from now. They wish to see us form a homeostasis with our environment. They wish to see us live like the American Indian… with so much respect for “spirits” and “souls” of all the living things around us (LaDuke 225). They, of course, do not contain the courage to say such things before anyone. They would be laughed right out of the clique to which they uttered such nonsensical ideas! We are, of course, the most evolved we have ever been. To think, we should regress to suit the needs of a planet that is seemingly bending so to our will that it has actually made the climate more temperate to the average man, woman, and child!
Call me mad, but it is my assertion that we not we remain idle while plants and four-legged and fanged creatures begin to encroach upon our territories. It is survival of the fittest, and the fittest, we are. These people, these environmentalists, are the same people that consider us mammals before they consider us human beings, created by God, to rule the other creatures of the world. To forego our strength, to consider for a moment that the planet would be inclined to expel her most accomplished species, is to believe that our God would allow harm on such a grand scale to come to us.
So again, I propose, that in the face of this “climate change” we are being forced so rudely to think about, we do not a single, silent thing to reform our ways, else we should attempt to reform our very natures as human beings, and should end our existence by that very fact. To think we were meant to form some sort of balance with the rest of the world! An insult! I will not be bullied into believing that I owe the environment anything but my own survival! In fact, I dare the world to try to end our advancements as a species, as we are ordained to reign supreme, and will certainly meet her contest with a fervor she will be forced to submit to forever!
It is like one Jonathan Swift suggested so many years ago in his essay on the burden of the Irish young (White 659). It was simple. If the young pose financial difficulty, than eat them! Money will be saved, bellies will be filled! It was really quite genius. He even recommended a few recipes guaranteed to make the mouth water! The solution to “the problem” of global warming I have posed here is much less work oriented, you could say. If we should all allow the globe to warm by doing nothing at all, we will thank ourselves in the years to come when the weather is just perfect!
Works Cited
LaDuke, Winona. The Winona LaDuke Reader. Minnesota: Voyageur. 2002.
Quinn, Daniel. Ishmael. New York: Penguin. 1996.
White, Fred B., Simone J. Billings. The Well Crafted Argument. New York: Cengage. 2004: 659-666.