Relationships are a very important part of human life. Regardless of the success of any human being, relationships are an essential key to a better life and their ignorance could have the most serious repercussions. Family members should strive as much as they can to relate well with each other.
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This is particularly crucial for children as regards their relationship with their parent since this relationship determines how a child undergoes psychosocial development. This paper looks into parent-children relationships to identify some of the challenges that this relationship faces and also suggests remedies to problems encountered by parents and children as they relate to each other.
A good society basically defines an environment that upholds the good morals that is universally acceptable. It is for this fundamental virtue and reason that good parent-child relationship can be realized within such society. Let’s therefore find out the meaning of good morals that fosters good relationships between parents and children in the society.
Through out the human history, communities have been concerned with what their children would become when they grow up, assessed by parameters of appropriate moral growth. This could only become as a dream because of the ever common and confusing results later seen in their behaviors. Good morals are therefore hard to achieve and they must be worked for in order to be realized.
It is hence, very apparent that the parent-child relationship embraces behaviours, feelings and expectations that are unparalleled to a particular parent and child. All these unique characters contribute to the full extent of a child’s development and growth. There are a number of factors that affect the relationship between children and their parents.
For instance, the relationship between a parent and his/her child may be affected adversely by marriage instability or the experience that the parent has in dealing with certain issues. Other factors include confidence of parents in the decisions they make affecting their children and the character of a child. Age in this case, specifies the cognition of setting good standards of behaviors.
Take for example; parents who have been married for quite some time tend to be patient and calm before delivering judgment to an errant child compared to their newly married colleagues. This is usually so, because such cases have arisen in such family settings before and going by such past experiences, have been successfully arbitrated upon. On the other hand, new couples are bound to act on the spot without considering the other side of the consequences that can spark rebellion from the children.
Another instance, where wisdom through age demonstrates itself, can be seen on the ability to be understanding in a conflict. Come to think of this, sometimes children want to do something contrary to their parents’ wish. In such cases parents should be honest and open with their children by explaining why they feel the time or situation is not yet ripe or why the action is improper.
It is thus prudent, to approach certain conflicts between parents and children with caution so as not to blow it out of proportion in order for good relationships to blossom.
Such, can majorly be actualized through innate wisdom and knowledge majorly set by age .having seen that parenting is an important determination of good morals, stability in marriage is a major factor that equally contributes to a good relationship between parents and children. A happy couple would reason together, consult every now and then, keeps family secrets, plans and most importantly do not prejudice or incite the children against each other.
Parents who commit in house wrangles are bound to disagree on certain principles that are essential for the children’s development. It is an obvious factor that, ‘children learn by observation.’ children on the other hand are bound by nature to take hard line positions in support of or disapproval of either of the parent’s view. Parents need to agree on household issues and to stick to the rules relating to the family’s wellbeing.
Both parents should each time remember their resolutions and refuse to get compromised by the children who break such rules. Children gain a sense of security from parents who love and support each other. It is clear from this reason that unstable marriages would absolutely contribute to bad relationships between parents and children as opposed to stable marriages that fosters good relationships between parents and the children in the society.
Other key area that requires the parents’ full attention and intimacy for a good relationship with the children is education, which anchors more on the parents’ support to the children for its success. The outcome of this closeness is that, parents can make a spectacular difference in positively molding the future of the children. Religion on the other hand, can be a reality when parents have good relationship between themselves (Thera 1).
For achievement of a good relationship between parents and children, there is need for involvement of all stakeholders in the relationship. Close knit families are therefore formed in families where members understand each other and complement each other for achievement of a common goal.
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This comes as a result of, talking to the children, taking time to take them to bed, praying with them and literally driving their efforts based on family objectives such as hard work, respect, love and so on. This condition of closeness and stability eventually inculcates good relationships between parents and children.
Characteristics of the children compared to those of the parents can also influence the relationships between the parents and the children. Let us look at this factor pegged on four main stages of development. These are Infants, kindergarten children, school age and adolescence. It is common to note that as the children move from infancy, the parent-child relationship begins to change.
At this stage, the parents simply natures the relationship based on day to day care (Holman 60). For example, if parents show open pleasure in their children however much busy they could be, the toddler appreciates in a sub conscious way and reciprocates by forging good relationship with the parents.
In this case, the much a child is connected with the parent may be the determinant factor of the success the child will encounter due to reliable psychosocial development during childhood. The small pre school child becomes more cheerful, self-reliant, self-controlled and focused when the parents are permissive while children who are brought up by authoritarian parents tend to lack self-confidence and withdrawn.
This therefore affects the good relationship with the parents (Milordo 1). For example, where in a situation where parents and do not encourage negotiations with their children. The above stage enables the child to explore much of the environment and feel that they can get away with any behavior expecting not to be reprimanded. This stage calls for less rigid personality in addition to firmness so that the parent-child connection is not withheld.
At school-age stage, good relationship between parents and children is natured by congealing patterns of interaction between parents to children. Remember this is the stage where the child’s social world expands and they increasingly become interested in peers. It should not be misconstrued to mean that this is a sign of disinterest to the parent.
Even though, parents are supposed to be displinarians, they should not so much rely on physical punishment or withdraw their affection; instead, they should encourage and politely give direction so that a good relationship between the parent and child is yielded.Behaviourial changes at adolescence stage may also put strain on the relationship between the parents and the children.
A case of study would be, taking a child at this stage of development as one who bickers and challenges the authority of the parents. It must be known that adolescence stage provides a base for most teenagers to hold different views with their parents; albeit, it’s very poignant to reason in this manner. The concern to parents should be an absolute concession on essentials and limit tendencies of variations that can affect their relationships.
From this essay, it is evident that the skills of a child’s parents in maintaining a good relationship with their child are very instrumental in the development of the child and it determines the child’s future. It is therefore of essence for parents to ensure that they do their best to achieve healthy relationships with their children since the benefits of the same may be more than they can imagine. All these attempts essentially improve the good relationships between the parents and children in the society.
Holman, Thomas. The Family in the New Millennium:: Strengthening the family. New York. Barnes & Noble, 2007. Print.
Thera, Nayaka. “Parents and Children”. 2006. Web.
Milordo, Lisa. “Setting up Children for Success at School”. 2010. Web.