Marital and couple conflict is common and cannot be avoided in any relationship. Money matters cause misunderstandings among couples as a result of lack of money. Many couples have varied perspectives about expenditure, budgeting and earnings of collective gross money income.
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Measure of sexual intimacy among spouses maybe a possible cause of frequent conflicts between partners in a serious relationship. Women desire more emotional contact than physical link. Surplus of sexual activity is the driving force among men. Severe discouragement and unfulfilled expectations maybe experienced when level of intimacy reduces.
Disagreement in issues concerning how many children to have and how to raise them leads to conflict among marital spouses. Negligent parents do not show love or care about their child’s discipline leading to bad parent child relationship hence constant conflict. Permissive parents, on the other hand, show much love to children but low in disciplining them. Among many couples, women dedicate a lot of time to various household tasks compared to their men who spent longer hours outside their places of work. Women are involved in household management performing such household tasks as general cleaning and taking care of children.
Strategies of solving conflicts
- Focus on disagreement: it’s not advisable to keep your partner on defensive side, concentrate instead on current problem(s) comprehensively.
- Look for important problem issues: concentrate on believes and views that propel your activities for tips in a given conflicting situation.
- Don’t spend too much time on a problem: put a problem aside to embark on it later for thorough discussion if you have not arrived at conclusion.
- Avoid bad behavior character: such as condemning the other partner’s behavior(s) and personal natural traits.
Common sources of conflict and hidden issues
- Control: partners who believe in control must appreciate their partners’ decisions and opinions. Severe urge to gain control is associated with insecurities that come from ones early life.
- Power struggle: is where no one wants to be under the other. This is a risky approach since it has negative impacts on the overall relationship.
- Love: is limited among couples. In case there is any disagreement, they may seek ways of solving their differences and thus solve relationship problem, for example, by attending a therapy cognitive doctor who can help them.
- Commitment: Partners who are determined and committed to important guidelines can make a conflict a chance for them to develop.
- Trust: Partners must be worthy of trust in order to acquire it from his or her spouse. Truth and trust are functions of each other and cheating of any kind causes conflict in relationships.
- Recognition and respect: It entails speaking good of a partner and avoids deliberate ignorance of him or her. It can be shown by frequent consideration of decisions and emotions of the other partner.
- Caring and integrity: It involves showing deep concern, kindness, offering help and sympathy for a partner in a relationship. Integrity is experienced when a partner acts according to marriage morals that they believe in to establish respect and trust to each other.
- Acceptance: each partner should allow the other to be part of him/her and make the spouse feel welcome and needed regardless of the current situation.
The Speaker Listener Technique
The speaker and the listener come together where the speaker takes the floor and shares his or her views. Then they critically deal with each issue at a time. The speaker should not be brief during the therapy session. He/she can stop and give the listener a chance to digest the discussion and present his/her views. The listener paraphrases the speaker’s words, and may seek for explanation regarding the discussion. However one should avoid interruption until a chance is allowed. Paraphrasing ensures that the listener understands the issue at hand. Finally, the listener keenly analyses what the speaker has said. This method is successful in relationship as it helps partners to control their tongue and opt for caring, discipline and understanding with the spouse.