Styles of Love
The Hendricks (2002) and John Allan Lee (1974, 1988, 1998; as cited in Crooks & Baur, 2008) approach six styles of love: the first style of love is the ‘romantic’ love that can be characterized by idealization of the partner; the second style presents the ‘game-playing love’ the one without any commitments and plans for future; the third style introduces ‘friendship’ described as love that is a result of friendship; the fourth one is called ‘logical love’ which touches upon family planning issues; the five style emphasizes the ‘possessive, excited love’ that resembles infatuation and the condition of being excited about the love affairs; and the sixth style of love is the ‘selfless love’ aimed at self-denying and self-sacrifice in the name of love of another person (as cited in Rathus, Nevid, & Fichner-Rathus, 2005, p. 220).
The first scenario may depict Joanne who is an attractive woman of thirtysomething searching for sexual adventures and Michael who is a college student of twentysomething full of energy and sexual appeal. The relationships that can bind them can be approached with a combination of three different styles of love: romantic love if one of the partners is eager to have some further relationships, game-playing love if infatuation is the only common thing for them, and possessive, excited love which corresponds to sexual relations only and makes both partners happy by satisfying their sexual needs.
The second scenario includes a man and a woman both in their 60s; they have met on the wedding of their relatives by marriage and decided to live together; she is a widow, he is a widower too. The love relating them is a combination of friendship (because of strong commitment), logical love as they have common plans for future, and selfless love if their connection became very strong since they have met.
These scenarios are different because different styles of love connect these people; the similarities can be found in the connection of two people (maybe different ages require different motives and styles of love). My life saw mostly the game-playing style of love (I am infatuated with attractive representatives of the opposite sex; I do not feel sorry if I see that this person is not interesting for me anymore).
Jill and Joe’s Relationships
Jill and Joe have been in a relationship for four months. Their time together mostly revolves around sports and enjoying time with friends. They are very much attracted to each other and have had an active sex life from the first month of their relationship. Jill and Joe are ordinary people and their relationships can be complicated as well as the relations of other couples. It is nice if they have some interests in common and their friends do not witness their quarrels or some disagreement.
However, their relationships can be improved by means of implementing some communication techniques, suchlike active listening, delivering and receiving criticism, negotiating differences. It is possible that one of the partners is discontented with some aspects of their sexual life, the partner’s appearance, habits, or behavior. Discussing the problems and difficulties that may be obvious in Jill and Joe’s relations can contribute greatly to the relationships of a couple and facilitate their understanding of the partner’s needs..
Components of Attractiveness
The components of attractiveness are different for different sexes. However, there are three basic components, suchlike physical attractiveness, social elements, and behavior seems to be the commonly-approached ones. Thus, men pay much attention to “female faces with large eyes; greater distance between the eyes; small noses; narrower faces with smaller chins; high, expressive eyebrows; larger lower lips; and a well-groomed, full head of hair” (Rathus, Nevid, & Fichner-Rathus, 2005, p. 208); young women are attractive if they have “smooth skin, firm muscle tone, and lustrous hair” (Rathus, Nevid, & Fichner-Rathus, 2005, p. 210). Taller men are considered by women to be more attractive as well as men with an earning capacity. Behavior becomes important after people get acquainted. I prefer to know the person better in order to be able to judge about a person with regard to the personal characteristics. However, the love without commitment requires a physical attractive partner.
Sexual Techniques
- The chapter reading include the discussion of such sexual techniques and positions as kissing, touching, and foreplay, masturbation, use of fantasy, stimulation of the breasts, oral-genital stimulation, and “the most commonly used positions: the male-superior (man-on-top) position, the female-superior (woman-on-top) position, the lateral-entry (side-entry) position, and the rear-entry position” (Rathus, Nevid, & Fichner-Rathus, 2005, p. 280).
- The roles of kissing, touching, and foreplay are different, though these elements can be regarded separately or as a prelude to intercourse. Thus, kissing can be fulfilled in the lips of each other or can refer to genitals in order to stimulate the partner before sex. Touching can refer to all parts of the human body including genitals. Foreplay consists of a combination of kissing and touching and is considered to finish in the intercourse.
- Some people regard masturbation as an acceptable issue in the framework of sexual relations. Masturbation is treated differently in different cultures which is the result of historical events. Thus, males in some cultures are prohibited to masturbate with a threat that they can be come impotents or they are sinful. However, masturbation does not lead to health and psychological problems.
Reference List
Rathus, S. A., Nevid, J.S., and Fichner-Rathus, L. (2005). Human sexuality in a world of diversity. (6th ed.). Boston: Allyn and Bacon.
Crooks, R., & Baur, K. (2008). Our sexuality. (10th ed.). Belmont, CA: Cengage Learning.