Introduction
Love is a feeling of strong emotional attachment towards another person who may be a friend or a relative. In popular culture love is the emotional feeling of attachment and affection that is extended to people who are of the opposite sex and it involves such words as girlfriend, boyfriend or fiancée. Love is connected to interpersonal relationships and this kind of love mainly exists between couples, family members and friends. This kind of love is also associated with some psychological disorders such as erotomania.
In history, religion and philosophy have been key in speculating the phenomenon related to love and relationships. In modern times, psychology scientists have written a lot of materials that are accrued to the subject of love. There is a ranging debate if there is the existence of true love or it is just a facade brought about by social necessities to keep the society in order. The science of psychology has defined love as a social cognitive phenomenon that is based on intimacy, passion and commitment (Corneau, p. 187).
Intimacy can be described as a mode of which two people share personal issues and confidences with each other and can be explicit in describing personal details of their lives. This is usually depicted in friendships and romantic love affairs. Commitment is the expectation that is expected between two lovers that the relationships should rust and should successfully pass all trials and temptations that might come the relationship’s way. Another form of love is the passionate love that is detailed as mainly concerning sexual attraction. This is the most common form of love in the world today and is expressed by psychologists as infatuation or romantic love. All forms of love that exist in the world are viewed to be based on the three phenomenons and it can be one or a combination of two or three components of love (Fine, p. 196).
True love
In modern times, there is the expectation that every body who is psychologically normal should have a relationship based on love. However, there is a wide misunderstanding of this concept because many people have mistaken other forms of feelings to being feelings of love. A true love should not necessarily involve intimacy and passion but a strong basis for a true love relationship should be commitment. There are multitudes of people who are convinced that they are in love only for them to realize later that they were mistaken and that in fact they cannot live with the other party. Unfortunately for some, this realization is too late and hence there has been created social chaos in the name of love and some relationships have ended up in the most unfortunate way ranging from divorce to murder (Corneau, p. 254).
People who are truly in love should first and foremost understand each other. This is because when people start a relationship that they intend to last forever, they must cultivate a culture of understanding for each other. It is true that nobody is perfect and this is the mistake many couples make when they start a relationship. They mistake their spouses to be the perfect people who they had missing in their lives. After a period of time, the harsh reality finally catches up with them and this is when many people realize that there is a thin line between true love and acute hate. Many cases have been reported where spouses after a few months in marriage realize that they cannot live with their spouses and sometimes this ends up nastily like the many cases of spousal violence and spousal murders (Akin, p. 47).
In the real sense, true love exists but the difficult part is to find the perfect lover. The modern world is filled with various types of social evils and these evils have greatly lowered the dignity of love that was enjoyed by our forefathers. This days, youths and teenagers believe that they have fallen in love when they meet somebody who somehow fits the wildest dreams. However, with time, they realize that what they felt was out of sheer desire and nothing to do with any emotional attachment. This is the kind of thing that is undermining the existence of true love (Fine, p. 236).
Some people may also be tricked into relationships thinking that the relationship is based on true love. However, these relationships ends being an avenue for one party exploiting the other party in such things as sexual and financial favors. This kind of relationships is also undermining true love because one the exploited party realizes the kind of arrangement that he or she has been subjected to, the relationship is likely to end and may hurt the other person physically or emotionally. This is intended to be as a revenge and in modern times this kind of vendettas have been taken too far (Corneau, p. 125).
Factors undermining true love
One of the factors that undermine true love is various religion believes. Many couples who were truly have been forced to separate because of diversified religious believes. These may be accrued from the fact that some religions have stipulated certain conditions for their followers to abide to when starting relationships that would likely culminate into marriage. Falling in love is not limited to one’s religion nor religious beliefs because people falling in love have feelings which are independent from religious teachings and beliefs. However, if a couple from different religions start a relationship, they may soon find that their religious beliefs acts as a deterrent to their relationship and unless one of them gives in, the relationship is bound to break (Akin, p. 53).
Another factor is the rising cases of infidelity which leaves many young people who are contemplating initiating a relationship feeling like there is no need to be involved in such relationships. One factor that leads to this stand in relationships is previous relationships that have witnessed cases of infidelity and how it adversely affects people. In some cultures, infidelity is intolerable while other cultures treat this vice in a lax manner. Infidelity is the highest disrespect one can do to a spouse and sometimes people find it plainly unforgivable. This has led to many relationships falling because it is seen as the guilty party does not respect the relationship and the spouse as well (Corneau, p. 298).
Some occupations also play a great role in undermining the existence of true love. Some occupations are too demanding for people to keep a normal relationship and this leads to one being unable to fall in love with somebody else. Other occupations are against the relationship and this means that one cannot competently manage a relationship. Some occupations which involve a lot of traveling have left many people without healthy relationships because they cannot afford to be always there for their loved ones when they are needed to be there. Another reason for relationships being affected by occupations is that some of the occupations are anti-social like prostitution and gigolos who cannot maintain a relationship with other normal people (Fine, p. 213).
Some cultural backgrounds are anti-relationships and due to cultural degradation of modern times, many people refer to themselves as incapable of falling in love. They argue that love relationships are a waster of time and that they very often tend to break people’s hearts when the relationship comes to an end. These kind of ideologies have played a great part in undermining the existence of true love because they act as deterrent of the initiation of long lasting relationships. There are also other kind of cultures where the humanity of the people has been replaced by animosity and this kind of people are not capable of loving even their own family members. Most of the western cultures fall into this place and there has been witnessed a lot of misery due to their stand concerning relationships (Corneau, p. 303).
The social system is also playing a great deal in undermining the existence of true love. This is because some social practices that are evident in these times need some people to concentrate on other issues other than concentrating on good relationships with people who are around you. The social status has influenced everybody and nowadays everybody want to be in the first social class. This kind of mentality means that the modern people are likely to abandon their friends and family to go out chasing the riches that are out there. Social systems also have degraded the relationships and there is a facade among the male youths that the one who can net the most girls is a made hero and everybody is working towards this end (Akin, p. 56).
Existence of true love
True love exists and this is witnessed by the fact there are people who would do anything for their loved ones. This is true to all types of relationships be it for friends, family members and lovers. Although modern times have come with temptations against the practice of true love, there are people out there who would sacrifice themselves for their loved ones. This kind of love is rare in modern times but those who possess such love feel very proud (Fine, p. 236).
There exists such relationships that the parties are never envious of each, are happy when one party succeeds in anything, are there for each other at all times, work towards developing each other, and most of all love each other beyond any bounds. These are the kind or relationships where one party can do anything for the other and would go to great strengths for the well being of the other party. Although such relationships are rare in modern times, these relationships are unique in that they are not based on material wealth or social status. These relationships are based in faith for each other and they extend such virtues as kindness for one another, hope in one another, trust, forgiveness and security that no party is capable of such things as infidelity and exploitation of the relationship for any kind of gain (Corneau, p. 312).
Works cited
- Akin, Daniel L. (2003); God on Sex: the Creator’s Ideas about Love, Intimacy and Marriage. Nashville, TN: Broadman & Holman.
- Corneau, Guy. (1999) Lessons in Love: the Transformation of Spirit through Intimacy. Translated from the French by Nanette Bilodeau. NY: H. Holt.
- Fine, Reuben.(1985); The Meaning of Love in Human Experience. NY: Wiley.